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Psychologist Stephen Oross on Bias & Cultural Humility in Health Care

An Interview with Psychologist Stephen Oross

Stephen Oross, Ph.D. is an Associate Professor of Psychology at Kutztown University of Pennsylvania. He specializes in experimental psychology and cultural humility in healthcare.

Ryann Thomson:  Thank you for joining us for this installment of The Seattle Psychiatrist interview series. I'm Ryann Thomson, a research intern at Seattle Anxiety Specialists. And I'd like to welcome with us Psychologist Stephen Oross. Dr. Oross is an Associate Professor of Psychology at Kutztown University of Pennsylvania. He is a scholar in the field of experimental psychology, and has published several articles within his career, including, “Studies of Brain Activity Correlates with Behavior in Individuals with and without Developmental Disabilities”. As well as “The Impact of Acuity on Performance of Four Clinical Measures with Contrast Sensitivity in Alzheimer's Disease”. As well, Dr. Oross has had extensive experience working with the World Health Network as well as previously having completed a visiting fellowship at Massachusetts General Hospital. Before we get started, can you please tell us a little bit more about yourself? What made you interested in experimental psychology and what led you to become a professor?

Stephen Oross:  Well, thank you, Ryann. Certainly. I actually became- It's a longer story, but I'll condense it. I actually became interested in psychology and decided to be a psychologist as a sophomore in high school. And largely it was due initially to an interest in clinical, child clinical to be specific. I had read some books on autism. I had an aunt who had been diagnosed with mental retardation. And so, when I went to college, my plan was to be a child clinical psychologist. And so, I did my undergraduate work, and while doing that, did a bunch of volunteer and then some paid work interacting with individuals with different developmental disabilities, including some time as a residential house manager at a group home for children with autism. So, I honestly thought that was the direction I was going to go. But as an undergraduate, I also began doing some research with a couple professors at the University of Dayton. And some problems with the clinical end that I saw and the excitement I had with research led me to pursue the experimental degree.

I went to Vanderbilt University for my experimental psychology PhD. I stayed there, did a couple of postdocs, one in sensory perception, one on mental retardation and developmental disabilities. And stayed there actually even longer than that as a research faculty member. While doing that, I had the opportunity to do some teaching. And I supervised a student as she worked on her PhD. I was the doctoral advisor. And those experiences led me to believe that while I wanted to do some research, my interests were more aligned with teaching. So, I did stay in a research position for a number of years before coming to Kutztown and then beginning the path I'm on now that led me here.

Ryann Thomson:  Really interesting. That's great. I'm glad you had such a different variety in your background before you came here. That's really nice to hear.

Stephen Oross:  Yeah, actually I think it's important to do that. I think it's been beneficial in thinking about how to teach.

Ryann Thomson:  So, to begin, I wonder if many people have heard the term cultural humility. And could you possibly define what that is and why it's so important when we're treating clients?

Stephen Oross:  Yeah, cultural humility, you're absolutely right. Not as many people are familiar with it as I would expect. But it was introduced in the late 1990s. I believe it was 1998, by Melanie Tervalon and Jen Murray-Garcia in a journal article. And what they were trying to do was to respond to some national mandates to improve multicultural education among physicians. And what they identified was a multidimensional approach with three primary components. The first was to emphasize the importance of self-reflection and lifelong learning. And I'll come back to this point. But second was a recognition that in healthcare settings including mental healthcare settings, there's an imbalance of power. The care provider dominates the services and the care that's needed. And often the patient or client gets ignored at some level. Certainly we're paying attention to the symptoms, but not always looking at their background, and the mindset and experiences that they bring to the healthcare setting.

And lastly, they identified the importance of institutions, not just individuals, but institutions to model these principles of reflection, and lifelong learning, and acknowledgement of power imbalances. So, it's a very dynamic process. And it emphasizes the fact that when people enter into healthcare settings, there's a lot of unknowns about them. And what we need to do is to acknowledge the differences, and the similarities, and the perspectives that people bring. Why it's important, it's clear. There's lots and lots of data to indicate that healthcare providers bring a number of biases into treatment. Some of these biases are explicit and some are implicit biases. But the biases that people possess can negatively affect the care that's provided and the adherence to the treatment plan on the part of the patient. And cultural humility is an approach to try to get past these biases and to incorporate the knowledge that patients have into their treatment.

Ryann Thomson:  So, in your experience, what are some barriers that the Western medical system and mental health field face when trying to implement this idea? And how should professionals go about trying to address the challenges effectively?

Stephen Oross:  Sure. There are potentially a lot of barriers to implementing what seems like a fairly simple concept in many ways. One barrier, for instance, is that academic training, whether it's in medical profession, or a psychologist, or psychiatrist, really does emphasize becoming an expert on a topic or a domain. In some sense we know we don't know everything, but we still act like we know everything and have been trained to think that way. It's potentially a problem to get providers to recognize the fact that we don't know everything, and we have to provide care and conditions where there's uncertainty. Both uncertainty on our end about perhaps the type of treatment that might be called for and uncertainty about the patient's responses and their actions that would affect how well treatment works. So, that's one.

A second that's very prominent is time. Much of the training that's occurring, it's happening for professors in academic settings, physicians in a more applied settings, mental health providers really looks at a very time limited training program. I know I have to go through a series of trainings, but they're once a year and they're kept maybe an hour long, roughly. And cultural humility is not an approach that can really be taught in a single, very time limited session. It's a ongoing process. This is the lifelong learning component that is emphasized. You are trying to develop a mindset that is awareness about yourself and awareness of the individual you're working with. But that knowledge, and the awareness, and how it impacts interactions is going to be continually changing. So, you can get an orientation to cultural humility, but you really have to be practicing it on a regular and continual basis. And I think a lot of the training is capped to be short because of the other time demands that are placed on individuals. And that can be a barrier.

One other from my perspective is that it is often the case, quite often, particularly mental health care, that we're talking about an individual providing the care rather than a team. And if you have individuals rather than a team that's working collectively, it is more likely that certain biases can creep in. So, cultural humility, training and awareness becomes especially important in that context. How you can effectively train or educate people to work on cultural humility varies. I mean, I did just a quick search and there are lots of institutions that talk about training cultural humility. And I noticed that many of them have a big emphasis on self-reflection for the provider, thinking about the provider's cultural background, and ideas, and expectations.

But there's not as much that I could find talking about power imbalances, and certainly even less on how do you make an institution become aware of the cultural background and biases that are inherent in that institution. So, I think the training efforts can be done, but it's got to be a bigger, more collective effort to highlight the three primary principles of cultural humility. And we have to as providers then start recognizing that we have to live with uncertainty. Rather than always thinking we're an expert, we have to recognize that while we know a lot and certainly can bring that to bear in treatment programs, we don't know unless we search for it like cultural humility wants. We don't know how well each of the clients will respond to a treatment plan. What are their other activities from their religious beliefs, their cultural beliefs, their fact of their people possessing different genders, different sexual orientations, how all that is going to affect treatment.

And we have to, when we accept that uncertainty, recognize that we're not going to be all knowing. We're going to have things we're not aware of. But if we recognize that, and work with individuals and allow for input from the people we're working with, we can help to mitigate these power imbalances. We can gain more information on the types of approaches that clients are willing to bring to treatment, what they might adhere to, what they might not want to adhere to in a way that isn't often captured when there's a a unidirectional, here's the treatment, here's what you do independent of the client. I think that's what we really have to consider.

Ryann Thomson:  Yeah, I really liked the team aspect, because I know you personally have a unique experience as you're a heart transplant recipient. So, I know you've talked about having a team approach to your personal healthcare. So, looking back on that experience as well as professional, do you see any more of these strategies being invented? And if not, what can they do for patients in the future to better that?

Stephen Oross:  Yeah, if I think about my own situation, including the heart transplant and then other aspects of personal and professional lives. I've actually been fortunate. I have to acknowledge that I come from really a position of privilege in healthcare settings. Coming in as a white male with some advanced educational training, and now with at least some money in health insurance, it really affords me an opportunity to select who I want to care for me. It allows me to have a little face validity when I talk to the healthcare professionals and question why certain things are being done. And I don't tend to have a huge power imbalance between myself and the healthcare providers.

And I found particularly in the transplant setting, interesting to think about because you have to go through a bunch of screening, obviously medical, but also psychological screening prior to being approved to get a transplant. And one example that I thought of as I was preparing thinking about this interview was that while talking to the psychiatrist, a question came up about how depressed I may be or how suicidal I might feel, and whether or not I've ever had those feelings. Because frankly, the healthcare system, if they're providing you with a transplant, something like a heart, they want it to succeed. They want to have it put in somebody who's not going to intentionally damage the gift that they've been provided.

But my beliefs on suicide are not typical for many people. So, when I was asked about that, I remember explicitly thinking, well, I could give the easy story and say, "No, I've never thought about it. I've never been depressed." Quick, easy answer, and we're out. But it would be a dishonest answer because the heart issues I had started many years prior. And when they first happened, they were sudden and surprising. And I did go through a depressed period, and that did lead me at times to think about suicide. And I went to a Catholic university, University of Dayton. I was raised as a Catholic. But I never accepted the idea that suicide was necessarily a bad thing. There are many cultures that accept suicide as a reasonable approach under some conditions. And I in fact had to debate suicide, the pro side when I was an undergraduate.

So, I remember thinking, "Going to tell them this, and this may disqualify me for the transplant," but I had to be honest. And what I appreciated was they didn't have this immediate reaction of saying, "Wait a minute, you've thought about suicide at one point?" They explored the conditions under which, why did I think that? Why did I come to this belief system? And to me, that is a reflection of the cultural humility perspective. So, I really appreciated it at that time. And it highlighted in a personal way, the importance of adopting an approach where they're willing to listen to me, they're willing to explore more deeply why I am holding certain perspectives.

So, that was a very helpful component of being prepared. The downside, I've noticed a couple occasions in a couple settings where I don't feel that providers (and I'll talk about employers a little bit as well) adopted a cultural humility perspective. So, after the original damage to my heart and I had to go to varying cardiologists, there was one in particular who my wife would accompany me because I had, at the time, was using a wheelchair and had to use a wheelchair to get around. And this one doctor in particular would always direct their questions and provide information to my wife who was sitting in the exam room and barely looked at me. Despite the fact that even though he wasn't looking at me, I was the one providing the answers.

My wife has been extremely helpful as I went through this process, but she is not as knowledgeable about the health condition I had. She wasn't as knowledgeable about the damage to the heart and what I might have to do. She wasn't as knowledgeable about the medications I may have to take or other treatment plans. And yet this physician kept insisting on talking to her as if, because I had this serious heart attack, that I was incapable of responding and taking care of myself. And that was an instance where there was certainly not a cultural humility perspective. There was no real attempt to understand what I possessed, what abilities, knowledge, background I had. It was, I'm going to dispense the information to the person who looks less impaired.

It was an instance when I was like, this person's clearly not trained in a way that I think would be conducive to better healthcare. And I left their care. It was unacceptable to me. I encounter it also, not intentionally sometimes, but with individuals who want to talk about the transplant and what the consequences have been for me. Because even though I might be asked what it's like to have a heart transplant, the conversations often turn quickly to their knowledge of transplants or their knowledge of somebody else, and not really looking at what I bring and what my perspectives are and how I'm handling this. So, it's a case where I see myself being minimized, if you will, in these discussions.

I see it institutionally. Most recently at my university at Kutztown University in several ways. I won't belabor the point. But one I thought was particularly relevant when you asked the question concerns the need for medical notes when you have sick days. As a heart transplant patient, I'm immunosuppressed. I'm going to get sick. Varying types of bugs are going to affect me. The team knows this. We've gone through what I'm supposed to do, how to treat the symptoms. At what point should I contact the team? At what point do I wait it out? But Kutztown University and probably others, has a policy that if I'm sick for three days or more, I have to provide a note where I've gone to see a doctor. Well, I don't necessarily see a doctor in three days. My team knows that, that I know I'm going to be sick. It happens, it drags out for a few days. I don't necessarily have to see a doctor.

But the institution has decided that three-day policy that I have to have a doctor note. Little attempt to understand anything about the individual in this case. They're not looking at it as, why do you not have a note? Why does your team allow this? No real dialogue about the conditions and the background that I bring that might affect how and what kinds of demands they want to place on me. So, when we talk about institutional accountability with the cultural humility perspective, I think these are some of the kinds of examples that I've encountered anyway.

Now, how do you get people to be more aware of cultural humility and what ways should people train for this in the future? I'm sure we'll talk more about this. You certainly have to get people to engage in the self-reflection and the lifelong learning component. You have to get healthcare providers to recognize that they need to learn more about themselves so they know what their backgrounds and biases might be. And then they have to be interested in learning and continually learning about the individuals they're working with. And there are some training programs to do that, but I think that's a huge step, the self-reflection and lifelong learning approach. The power imbalances, we know they're there. There's certainly training to make people less willing to have those imbalances.

I am not a 100% sure what kinds of training can be available at the institutional level. The medical institutions I've interacted with most, as far as I can tell, really haven't done any kind of institutional accounting for cultural biases and adopting a cultural humility perspective. I can say that I felt that my transplant team did do that, but in other healthcare settings, both with myself and other family members that I've went to, I don't see a lot of that at the institutional level. So, looking for specific training programs for each of these three components is going to be crucial. And it's hard to mandate how that's done because it has to be a very personal reaction on the part of the providers. And every institution has a slightly different background and mission. So, the awareness that cultural humility is a perspective that should be adopted, a willingness to go look at what other types of efforts have been made at other institutions would be a first step.

Ryann Thomson:  So, within this conversation, I know I personally have heard more about cultural competency. And I think you're touching on some of the ideas that differ cultural competency and cultural humility. So, how does knowing the difference and implementing both, I would say, enhance treatments of patients?

Stephen Oross:  Sure. And I think that's a good point to bring up here. The perspectives that have often been taught in institutions are ones that call themselves looking at cultural competence. And there's nothing wrong with this. It's just that cultural competence approaches are training efforts to make people more aware of cultural differences, but they really think of the training as an endpoint. And what I mean is there's a set of facts that are taught in the training about people who have differing types of backgrounds. It is, in some sense, a training to teach about the belief system that is assumed to be held by individuals from different backgrounds.

There's little in cultural competence training that emphasizes looking for, well, in some sense being taught generalizations rather than stereotypes. Being taught in cultural competence, that this is a starting point for understanding individuals. But you need to interact more carefully, understand the nuances that each individual brings. Not all individuals from varying backgrounds are identical to one another. We tend to think when we say cultural competence, something really along the lines of race or ethnicity. But we have to broaden that perspective, especially if we're talking mental health to consider diagnoses. And one of the problems with diagnosis and mental health is we all know two different individuals identified with the same diagnostic label aren't necessarily acting the same way, don't necessarily show the same symptomology. So, it really is a setup where we need to learn more about the individual patients.

Ryann Thomson:  So, you touched on bias earlier-

Stephen Oross:  Oh. Yeah, sorry.

Ryann Thomson:  Oh, sorry. If you want to keep going, go again.

Stephen Oross:  Well, just briefly. There have been a few surveys in other experimental analysis of cultural competence training. And it works. People get more knowledge about different backgrounds. But it has been shown that it tends to promote stereotypes. And that's something that cultural humility will try to break down by the fact that you're going to be looking for the individual perspectives, belief systems within a framework of their cultural background. I'm sorry to cut you off there.

Ryann Thomson:  No, it's okay. I didn't know if you were finishing that. So, earlier you touched on both of these points, but implicit bias within the mental health diagnosis. And education, obviously holding a really important point. But how do you ensure educational programs and training can at least mitigate or try to mitigate this bias, and make accurate diagnosis and assessments of patients? Or is that even possible?

Stephen Oross:  Well, this is a big question. Let's start with a couple simple points and then build up to this. When we're talking about biases that people bring to providing services, largely talking healthcare here, we have both explicit and implicit biases. So, explicit biases are, we already have certain beliefs about people who come from different backgrounds. And we know this, we hold them, we can state what those beliefs are. Before we've even met the individual. We have certain expectations. And that type of work, I mean that type of bias has certainly been shown to provide a means for having unequal healthcare treatment based on your cultural, and ethnic, and racial, gender, sexual orientation backgrounds.

So, that part can be often taught with some formal training to have people aware of their biases, provide information to show where the biases are misleading, present alternative approaches to thinking about individuals. The implicit biases are a little more tricky because they are ones that people are not aware that they're holding. And if they're not aware that they're biased, it's very difficult to make them aware of the need for training and for changing their perspectives. But in studies that have attempted to look at this, there's been a few studies I remember that were talking about roughly two thirds of individuals who were providing services holding biases. Not that they were aware of it, but they were implicit biases that were negatively affecting groups that are typically underrepresented or marginalized. And these biases can impact what types of treatment programs and plans are recommended for patients.

So, we've seen health treatment disparities, for instance, between White and Black as one example, men and women. Different types of recommendations, different treatment options. One, as I remember prominently because I'm also diabetic, is that individuals who are Black when they experience neuropathy, the condition that a nerve damage that follows diabetes often, individuals who are Black were much more likely than White patients to have to be amputated to have a foot or leg amputated. Whereas White patients were more likely to have more extensive treatments designed to try to restore blood flow to the affected leg or limb. And that's a bias perhaps impacted by an implicit bias of who will follow treatments, what will work, the money, and the time efforts, the diligence in treatment. So, we know that populations who are underrepresented or marginalized are going to be affected by implicit biases. In mental health, this may not be something that individuals at the varying psychiatric institutes want to hear. But they're particularly vulnerable to the implicit biases. And partly I would argue that's because of the DSM itself.

There is a belief that is commonly held that the DSM has a standardized diagnostic criteria. And it does have diagnostic criteria and it can be quite standardized in some instances, little less standardized in others. But there's a tendency to not recognize the fact that the benefit of at least some of the standardization that's present in the DSM matters if providers pay attention to the DSM, and don't use their own judgment that might be more likely to be affected by biases. There are a number of providers have reported in different sources that , yeah they're aware of the DSM-5, they were aware of the changes that came out in DSM-5 compared to previous editions. They have a copy of it. But they argue that they rarely refer to it, that after a certain period of time they know how to diagnose individuals from their own backgrounds.

And the DSM is there, I remember in particular reading one report, where this provider was saying the DSM there is there really just to head off arguments from clients about diagnoses. And that really bothered me when I started reading these types of reports, because that's a perfect scenario for implicit biases about mental health challenges to creep into diagnosis. The DSM, some people and a growing number I would argue, suggest that there are concerns about how reliable the diagnostic categories are used and defined in the DSM. And if we don't have a careful system of diagnosing and identifying treatment plans, the individual biases that we all possess have a greater potential to come into play. We might think certain groups are going to be less compliant and we'll recommend one type of treatment for one group compared to a different treatment for others.

These are the conditions that have to be overcome. And the educational settings, again, I think first and foremost, we have to have awareness of the three principles of cultural humility. Of those, while all are important, I think one that is commonly missed is the self-reflection and the lifelong learning approaches. And there are some training materials out there to facilitate that. But it has to be emphasized that one time training is not going to be sufficient to do this. So, I think the field is right for the varying efforts that have been made across different institutions to facilitate understanding of cultural humility. I think the time is right for an overview, what is everybody doing? And can we pull out best practices that have worked in different institutions and share them more widely. At this point, I still see this being largely run on a center-by-center or provider-by-provider basis, rather than as widespread training as it probably should be.

Ryann Thomson:  Yeah, I've definitely heard some of the changes DSM has tried to make for culture, and race, and things. It's obvious they're trying, but at the same time, how much changes can you make before... There's only a certain point, if that makes sense. Like you said, you have to recognize your bias and self-reflect on those. Definitely a major point, I think. That's important.

Stephen Oross:  Well, especially when the DSM changes over time. So, if I'm a clinician and I've been providing mental health services for a number of years, am I actually paying that careful of attention to the changes that are introduced in subsequent additions of the DSM? I mean, there are many who are diligent and are well paying attention for this. But we know from self-report and a few studies that there are individuals who really are not paying that much attention to the changes. And if they're not, the efforts to become more culturally aware in the DSM are going to be ignored. And it's going to, again, make it likely that biases come into play in treatment plans.

Ryann Thomson:  Well, I want to jump to this technological advancement we've had because of the COVID-19 pandemic. So, telehealth has obviously, especially mental health, telehealth has grown. And in a way has allowed us to enhance our cultural humility, and especially with treating individuals. So, can you speak to how telehealth plays an important role and how our biases can be expanded with increased uses of technology within mental health diagnosis? Or in a way, can it negatively affect?

Stephen Oross:  Yeah, it's an interesting question to address because the technology is so varied that can be applied to providing healthcare services. We can talk about a simple technological advance, the telehealth, as you mentioned. I conduct a number of my sessions with clinicians through telehealth now. Some I have to go in person, but many I can do. Essentially they're a Zoom meeting at some level. And it works. There are concerns, I think about the technology because it's an unusual situation for most people to be conducting health interviews or health sessions through a camera and through a monitor. And I think there's potential there for people to act differently when they're in telehealth settings than they might when they're in person, on both the clinician and the patient end. You're sitting pretty still stable looking at a camera. Whereas in a in-person facility, you're moving around, you might be able to observe things about body movement that you're not going to pick up necessarily with a telehealth interview.

On the other hand, the integration of artificial intelligence can provide some background information about an individual's cultural and background. And that could be useful for writing reports or preparing for visits from the clinicians. I’ve heard, you know, when you start talking about technology, we've already heard of lots of wild ideas. So, I've been hearing more and more about digital twins, this idea that there would be, in essence, a virtual representation of you. And the digital twin would somehow be coded with information about me. And clinicians could interact at times with the digital twin. They could try out different treatments and see how the body in this virtual person responded.

I have a hard time thinking about how that's really going to work because it's simply going to be based on the input that creates this digital twin. And if we're not adopting a cultural humility perspective very well, we're going to miss information that should be incorporated into the twin. Virtual reality therapy we use already in mental health treatment in some cases and it has been proven effective. But how far that can go is still a little unclear to me. I think there's another issue though with technology that we're not really addressing.

The benefits are often proposed to be ones that are going to help people who are underrepresented or marginalized. And the problem is we already know there's healthcare disparities for these populations. We already know lack of money, lack of easy access to facilities, lack of freedom to select different care providers because of healthcare insurance restrictions. We already know that exists. We also know that providing technology through the internet, for instance, not everybody has equal access to the technologies, the internet access, the cameras, the monitors that might be needed to use telehealth.

And so, we saw some of that with COVID-19, where there was an effort to push both educational and health services online. And understandably so. But there were large numbers of groups who were marginalized to begin with, who became further marginalized because of lack of access to the technology that's needed to do this. So, if we're going to push technology into the telehealth kind of world or the virtual reality type of world, and hope that it helps us better understand individuals, it has to start with making sure there's full and unencumbered access to the technology for individuals. And I don't think that exists right now.

We then still have to adopt the perspective that when you've got somebody on a camera, you still have to spend the time to think about how you're interacting with them and how they're interacting with you. How the different backgrounds are going to mesh. Whether we're willing as healthcare providers to, at some level, give up a certain degree of control and recognize that people from different backgrounds won't always accept the treatment plan that we propose. And we have to do a better job of recognizing the power imbalances, living with a little less control at some level. But understanding the client or the patient better so that we can tell them in more succinct manner, more appropriate manners why we're recommending different treatments.

The COVID situation is one example. I don't think we did a very good job with public health and convincing different populations of people of the benefits of vaccination programs. And we see that by the disparities in who's willing to get vaccinated and the percentages of people who are actively fighting or ignoring vaccine protocols. Vaccines I firmly believe are beneficial for most people. But we haven't been able to recognize that not everybody believes that upfront. And how do we either inform them better so they change their mindset? Or how do we adapt to the belief that vaccines in some people's minds are not beneficial? And we're still struggling with that.

Ryann Thomson:  I feel like this whole conversation, it involves every single part of our lives. So, you can take any example from any part and just like, well, here you see it in vaccinations, or in how we approach illnesses, or if we even go to the doctor. It's literally anything you can think of. I think you can see an example of it.

Stephen Oross:  I think you're absolutely right. And my understanding, my familiarity with cultural humility came a little later than when it was first introduced. But I had the belief system already in place from working with people who had developmental disabilities. And the awareness that whatever their clinical label may be, there are variations in the symptomology, and the beliefs, and the behaviors of those clients. I had that perspective. So, when I encountered cultural humility more formally, later, it was easy for me to accept it and to understand it.

And I think that afforded me an opportunity to, as you said, recognize it applies in multiple contexts, not just healthcare settings, not just mental healthcare settings, but in every aspect of our lives we're encountering different people. And we have to understand that we're going to have certain beliefs, we're going to have certain generalizations about people when we first meet them. But we have to get to know those individuals. We have to think, why did I hold my beliefs and are they valid beliefs? Should I change those beliefs? I believe as people become more aware of cultural humility and as we develop more effective training programs for this, it will affect all aspects of our life.

Ryann Thomson:  Yeah, I definitely agree. Now, I know you have a class to teach in 10 minutes. So, is there anything else as a health psychology professor, you want to say to our audience? Any advice or ways to move forward from this conversation?

Stephen Oross:  I think we've touched on quite a bit of this. I think really, from my perspective, one of the most important keys, I guess I would say in a multi-lock system, is that we have to give up when we're providers of services. We have to give up the idea that we are an all-knowing expert. Certainly expertise is important. Certainly academics and physicians are training to understand their domains better and better, and more sophisticated manners. Certainly there's a great deal of knowledge that's possessed by the individuals. But we have to give up the idea that we're all knowing and recognize that there is a dynamic with whomever we're working with. And they are not just a receiver of whatever treatment or information we want to provide, but there's some level, almost a negotiation with the individual that has to take place. And I think that's probably the biggest point that I think of. I'm sure others can have different perspectives. But for me that's the biggest point. Can we recognize this dynamic interaction between patient or the client and the provider?

Ryann Thomson:  I like that you never really stop learning. You always have to keep learning about other people and an open mind about things. That's really nice.

Well, that is all the time we have. And I want to thank you again for talking with this about me. I learned so much and actually a lot of interesting ideas I'm going to look up after this. And I hope we can see you in the future. And I hope you have a nice day.

Stephen Oross:  Thank you. It was my pleasure to do this interview. It was really interesting to think about this and how to present it in this kind of context. So, as I'm talking, we had the time limit, but I'm thinking, "Oh, I could say so much more here." I could say-

Ryann Thomson:  Yeah, I know.

Stephen Oross:  But I enjoyed it, so thank you for the opportunity.

Ryann Thomson:  Yeah, of course. Thank you again.

Please note: The views expressed by the interviewee are for educational and informational purposes only, are not meant to diagnose or treat any condition, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Seattle Anxiety Specialists, PLLC.


Editor: Jennifer (Ghahari) Smith, Ph.D.

Psychologist Ami Shah on Caregiver Burnout

An Interview with Psychologist Ami Shah

Ami Shah, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in New York and New Jersey. She specializes in working with adults and geriatric patients and helps support caregivers suffering from burnout (in particular caregivers of those with dementia, cognitive decline, and medical illness).

Adithi Jayaraman:  Great. Thank you all for joining us today for The Seattle Psychiatrist Interview Series. I'm Adithi Jayaraman, a research intern at Seattle Anxiety Specialists. We're a Seattle-based psychiatry, psychology and psychotherapy practice specializing in anxiety disorders.

Today, I'd like to welcome Dr. Ami Shah. Dr. Shah is a clinical psychologist in New York who specializes in working with adults and geriatric patients. She also specializes in the areas of bicultural, multicultural identity, relationships, marriage concerns, family, individual stress, and grief and loss. Dr. Shah received her master's and doctoral degrees in clinical psychology from the University of Indianapolis. Today, we'll be speaking to her about her work with caregivers and caregiver burnout. So, before we get started, Dr. Shah, can you please share a little more about yourself and what made you interested in working with caregivers?

Ami Shah:  Yes. Thank you for the lovely intro, Adithi. So, my journey to becoming interested in working with caregivers was a bit roundabout. I initially started off thinking I wanted to work with kids, and as I began to work with individuals clinically in training, I recognized there was a large gap at that time in terms of older adult care, and then when I did my fellowship... I'm sorry, I had done research prior to that at the VA in caregiver interventions for older adults that have dementia. That was the first time I was exposed to and recognizing there was a big gap in terms of, we were working on a research project at that time, it was a phone intervention, long before we had Zoom, and we were working on a phone intervention to provide emotional support for caregivers of veterans that had dementia at that time. And from that, during fellowship, we continued to do caregiver work in the same capacity, primarily as well caregiver interventions for veterans, again, that have dementia.

So, that was the capacity I started, and now most recently, I work at a skilled nursing facility and I'm seeing folks who are caregiving a number of older adults. So whether it's primarily, it's secondary to, say, a fall. Perhaps it's chronic falls, it's chronic pain. Sometimes it is cognitive decline. So, there's a number of caregiving capacities. That's sort of the capacity, so the capacity and context I'll be talking about is primarily in working with adults and older adults.

Adithi Jayaraman:  Perfect. Thank you. Yeah, and then on that note, can you provide us a working definition of what caregiver burnout is and how common it is in the States?

Ami Shah:  Yeah, I think that's a great question. Caregiver burnout I think is, it may go through waves, and sometimes it doesn't. So, it really depends on a number of factors. It's quite complicated, actually. When we think about caregiving someone at a certain point in time, say for example, I'll speak to individuals I see currently, if you're caregiving someone that perhaps fell once, it depends on the nature of the injury. The context is always critical in any of these situations. If it's a one-time fall, depending on their age, their premorbid functioning, the caregiving capacity could be more acute and short term, and so perhaps it really may not necessarily disrupt or impact someone's functioning as much.

What becomes a bit more complicated is, depending on the nature of the injury, but also understanding the caregiver's individual life and responsibilities, including their own health, caretaking other folks. So, burnout, really the word burnout, I think it's important to understand at a single point in time, what is the experience of the person they're caretaking and what is the experience of the person that is doing the caretaking? Of course, as we all know, burnout is essentially saying, at a certain point of time, someone is perhaps giving more than they're able to at a certain point in time, which can of course contribute to feeling distressed.

I know with, for example, caregivers of dementia, at large, again, this is generalized... I'm trying to think back. I think 60% at some point report experiencing some sort of, quote, unquote, "burnout", and sometimes as much as 40% may experience clinical depression. And so sometimes it can be a depressive episode, which can be normalized to, well, what is going on at that point in time? So yeah, I would say even more than the commonality, it's important to understand the context at a certain point in time.

Adithi Jayaraman:  Thank you, thank you. And then in terms of, you kind of alluded to this, but what are some of the main concerns or themes that you've seen in your work with caregivers and the general caregiver population?

Ami Shah:  I think one of the biggest factors is thinking about more of the structural. So, depending on, again, the context here of caregiving, in the sense that if someone is prepared mentally to care-give X, Y, Z person, there's time to plan. So, for example, I see a number of folks here, it's a skilled nursing facility, folks are here for physical rehab, oftentimes due to a fall, multiple falls. So, they've been here more than once. So, if the caregiver has time to think about, for example, if they're planning on being discharged home as opposed to a skilled nursing facility, perhaps that lessens the, quote, unquote, "burden" of responsibility, where they can call insurance, make sure the house is safe for return. So, in more the physical or structural capacity.

Oftentimes, what happens is folks are not always prepared. Sometimes insurance, I would say more than 80% of the time, determines how long someone is staying at a facility, which then can directly, indirectly affect caregiving if they are also, again, aging themselves, working, have other responsibilities, personal responsibilities. It creates this increased stress for everyone that's involved. I think another thing too in terms of caregiving, again, in the capacity of primarily older adults that I see, is finance. Things that we don't necessarily talk so much about. How are we going to finance certain things if insurance doesn't cover it? If there's multiple kids, family members, money is one of the biggest topics that come up. And time. Who's going to care-take so-and-so, and to what capacity, if it's not in a skilled nursing facility?

Another thing is, which comes up quite often in working with older adults, is what they call decision-making capacity. If there's sort of two major, and I'm speaking about it broadly, if so-and-so, Mr. Smith is unable to make decisions for himself, first of all, how are we determining that, and what decisions? So, say Mr. Smith, he recovers from rehab, he's like, "I'm ready to go home," and there's questions about his cognitive capacity. Who's making those decisions about where he goes next? How are those decisions being made? It's not always that clear cut, I'll tell you that. It looks pretty on paper and in textbooks, but in reality, things are moving fast.

So, considering also that individual, Mr. Smith's sense of autonomy in this process. If so-and-so has decision-making capacity, is able to, to some extent share an awareness of why they're in a facility, what they're being treated for, that then directly, indirectly affects caregiving capacity. Are we allowing Mr. Smith the opportunity to say, "Hey," and this comes up a lot, "I would rather just go home"? And they're saying, "I'm not sure we have the time or ability to care-take." Then what? If someone has the ability to speak for themselves and the caregiver is saying, "I'm so overwhelmed," what do you do?

These are family conversations that oftentimes I think bring about a lot of tension for the caregiver, anyone involved with caregiving Mr. Smith. So, I think that comes up quite a bit. And the autonomy part, is caregiving means helping someone to get through X in some capacity, and I think with that, sometimes Mr. Smith may lose his voice at times, assuming he has that capacity. And even if he has, say, mild cognitive decline, he still has feelings. So, it's thinking about how... Caregiving, it goes two ways. Caregiving also means recognizing, preserving someone's autonomy, and it's little sometimes, right? It's allowing someone to eat on their own or maybe they make a little bit of a mess, and it's not the end of the world. So, I think those are big themes.

Adithi Jayaraman:  Yeah, it shows caregivers go more beyond just caregiving physically, but also emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and that's definitely a large feat to hold.

Ami Shah:  Oh yeah.

Adithi Jayaraman:  Perfect. Thank you. And then in terms of caregiver burnout, can it be prevented, or what are some steps that a person can take to reduce it or to prevent it coming on?

Ami Shah:  That's a good question. I think it's quite complicated, again. To your first point, can it be prevented? I guess that's like saying anything else that could be prevented, is who knows? If we were to think about it, if it's something that's more abrupt and sudden, someone caretaking, say someone falls and then they're working and they're not expecting their mom, for example, to fall, and suddenly they're in this capacity, there's a shock factor, one. Emotionally coping with, "Mom fell, oh my gosh. Maybe I'm aging as well." Again, context on both ends.

In that moment, I think number one is seeing if you can have at least someone to talk to in that moment in time. If it's a friend, family, a therapist, it doesn't matter. In some capacity, having a place that isn't mom, because you're both going through this thing together and perhaps you both need an outside person or professional, that would be my opinion, others may say otherwise, to kind of walk through that. And number two, the structural, which is calling insurance and making sure, because a lot of the distress comes from, "Is this covered? Is this not? What do we need to pay for?" A lot of stress comes out of the finance, like I was saying before. So, the stress can be by educating yourself on the insurance policy. These are very real stressors that come up.

So, I would say prevented, who knows? It depends on what you're going through at that time. I have some caregivers who, before they even fell into the role of caregiving or perhaps chose to be a caregiver, they already had a therapist. They already had a solid group of friends and a spouse, partner, whatever, and they tend to perhaps at least emotionally feel a bit more sound. So, I think the prevention part, it's a tricky question, because I think at large, we need to do a better job with understanding what contributes altogether with folks' distress, even before they're in the caregiving capacity.

Oftentimes, a caregiver capacity can exacerbate existing stressors. If someone has a history of depression, for example, and then they come into this caregiving capacity, whether it's suddenly or even over time, depends on the severity of it, how stable mentally are they feeling before taking on this pretty large responsibility? It's almost like caretaking a child. I'm not sure if that answers the question, but...

Adithi Jayaraman:  Yeah. No, makes sense.

Ami Shah:  Yeah.

Adithi Jayaraman:  Yeah. No, thank you.

Ami Shah:  Yeah.

Adithi Jayaraman:  I think that's very interesting. I think that even the finances you brought up, that's something I think that not many people talk about, and I can only imagine how much, if you're abruptly placed in that role and you have to figure out the whole healthcare system in a few days.

Ami Shah:  Right. It's a nightmare.

Adithi Jayaraman:  Yeah.

Ami Shah:  It really is, because even if the caregiver is in the healthcare field, I mean, it took me at least two years with time to really understand health insurance and how it works. These are things that even if you're in school as a mental health provider, we're not taught how to. And insurance, it's all about billing, and that then directly, indirectly affects caregiving. If insurance isn't going to cover certain services, such as physical therapy, which comes up a lot, physical therapy, is Mr. Smith better going to a facility that offers that? Is that covered? That then affects the caregiving quality of life, and for Mr. Smith. So, that's a difficult job.

Adithi Jayaraman:  Yeah, definitely.

Ami Shah:  You know?

Adithi Jayaraman:  Yeah. There's a lot of infrastructural forces that are-

Ami Shah:  Oh, sure.

Adithi Jayaraman:  Yeah.

Ami Shah:  Yeah.

Adithi Jayaraman:  And then in terms of once a person is no longer a caregiver, do you tend to see that they normally just bounce back, or there's some rebounding or burnout continues? What have you seen post that caregiver position?

Ami Shah:  That's a good question. I'm not sure I'm equipped to even answer that, because I'm not necessarily seeing folks post-caregiving. I primarily see them when they're in the moment.

Adithi Jayaraman:  In the moment. Mm-hmm.

Ami Shah:  If I were to imagine some folks that have taken on caregiving as their sole responsibility, I imagine if Mr. Smith ends up and it's sort of this informed decision where they've discussed it and he has that capacity to make a decision and agreeable to it, I imagine things might be a lot lighter, in this sort of picture-perfect scenario. Which is great. Doesn't always work that way. So, maybe I said this a million times, but the context is important at that time. So, again, burnout is a certain point in time. It doesn't necessarily mean they feel that way at all hours of the day.

Adithi Jayaraman:  Yeah. No, that makes sense. And you mentioned how a lot of preexisting mental health concerns get exasperated by this caregiving position. So, when you treat caregivers, do you oftentimes, it goes beyond just talking about caregiving, goes into some of their root fears or concerns that are brought up by the responsibilities they have as a caregiver?

Ami Shah:  That's a good question too. I'm trying to think back to when I first started doing the phone interventions. Well, it was part of a research study, I should add. The research study is about focusing on caregiver distress, so we did talk about, it was primarily about caregiving as opposed to even, are you saying even going beyond the caregiving and talking about their own needs?

Adithi Jayaraman:  Yeah.

Ami Shah:  Yeah, that's a good question. In the capacity that I've seen folks for caregiver distress, not so much. More recently, I did speak to an individual who was caregiving her husband who had aphasia, but this individual already had a therapist, and so it wasn't my place to sort of-

Adithi Jayaraman:  Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Ami Shah:  So, we just focused on the spouse. But I think the times that, I'm trying to think too, there have been times where I've suggested they speak to someone. It depends on the capacity and the setting you're seeing someone in. So, for example, when I was at the VA, it was a research intervention. It was protocoled. It was a bit more like session one, session two. That's not reality all the time. At the nursing facility I work at now, obviously the patient many times is the primary focus, and if they're unable to, in this case, this gentleman with his aphasia was having trouble with speech, is when I sort of went to the caregiver and to kind of see the best way to support him. So, again, our focus was on him.

Adithi Jayaraman:  Yeah.

Ami Shah:  And she also had shared she had someone. But it's certainly, to your point, it's a great idea, I think to explore. And this is more short-term acute care.

Adithi Jayaraman:  Yeah, yeah.

Ami Shah:  I seem them one to five times. This isn't long-term therapy.

Adithi Jayaraman:  Exactly, yeah.

Ami Shah:  And a lot of times in these settings where you're meeting caregivers, it may be in a hospital setting. Not always. Perhaps I'm just speaking to my own experience. If you're in a setting where you're allowed to and you're able to, and again, see someone beyond just the patient, you can explore if it wouldn't be conflicting to see the caregiver as well, or perhaps even provide them resources if you're unable to for whatever reason. So, yeah.

Adithi Jayaraman:  Wow. Thank you. And just one last question. How has your work changed post-pandemic? Have you seen some significant changes in the caregiver field and just generally mental health-wise in regards to caregivers?

Ami Shah:  I think that question is a great question, and it's complicated, because I think post-pandemic, it's hard because there could be a number of factors. I'm not sure I can just pinpoint the pandemic as the only factor, but I think as human beings, which then of course translates to caregiving to some extent, and with increased use of technology and social media, think of climate change, I mean, there's obviously all the things happening in our world, there's sort of this increased, I should say decreased distress tolerance capacity as human beings.

And so for example, in the setting that I'm in, sometimes when someone wants something, whether it's the patient or the caregiver, they want it now. And yes, of course, there's certainly, if it's an emergency, it's a crisis, that's understood. That's a given. But it's sort of a top-down effect. It's that all of us are experiencing this sort of vortex of, "You need to get this done right now or else," in some ways, because of inflation. But things are more costly now for folks. So, if things are more costly, then I'm going to have less time to spend caretaking Mr. Smith, and then Mr. Smith gets less from me as his daughter, then that sort of creates that trickle effect. So, the economy, the environment, I think perhaps we're just sort of aiming for good enough. Perfection is sort of an illusion here. So, as long as we can say, "Hey, am I doing enough today? Am I able to at least accomplish what was necessary to get done today?" and just leave it there.

Adithi Jayaraman:  Yeah, definitely. And I think that mindset just applies to all of us and-

Ami Shah:  Yeah.

Adithi Jayaraman:  ... the capacities we're functioning in. Yeah.

Ami Shah:  Absolutely.

Adithi Jayaraman:  Definitely. Well, thank you again so much for your time. I really appreciate you being part of our interview series. Yeah, and I'll leave it there. Thank you again, and best of luck with your future endeavors.

Ami Shah:  All right. Thank you.

Please note: The views expressed by the interviewee are for educational and informational purposes only, are not meant to diagnose or treat any condition, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Seattle Anxiety Specialists, PLLC.


Editor: Jennifer (Ghahari) Smith, Ph.D.

Psychotherapist Rachel Kuras on Integrated Therapy

An Interview with Psychotherapist Rachel Kuras

Rachel Kuras, Psy.D., LMHCA is psychotherapist at Seattle Anxiety Specialists. She provides therapy for individuals and families, and helps clients of all ages - including children. Her clinical work focuses on: trauma, attachment, gender & sexual diversity, family conflict, grief, anxiety, depression, and ADHD.

Kate Campbell: Hello, everyone, and thank you for joining us for this installment of The Seattle Psychiatrist Interview Series. I'm Kate Campbell, a research intern for Seattle Anxiety Specialists, PLLC. We are Seattle-based psychiatry, psychology and psychotherapy practice specializing in anxiety disorders. I'd like to welcome with us Dr. Rachel Kuras, a licensed mental health counselor associate who recently began working with the Seattle Anxiety Specialists as a psychotherapist.

Since graduating with a doctoral degree in psychology from Pacific University, Rachel has trained in trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, and attachment therapy and commitment regulation. Prior to joining SAS, Rachel completed an internship through Idaho Psychology Internship Consortium, where she provided in-person, individual psychotherapy for children and adolescents, comprehensive neuropsychological assessments, and comprehensive diagnostic assessments. Welcome to the interview series, Rachel, and thank you so much for joining us.

Rachel Kuras: Thanks for introducing me, Kate.

Kate Campbell: Of course. So before we get started, can you tell our listeners a little bit about yourself?

Rachel Kuras: Yeah, so my name is Dr. Rachel Kuras, formerly Rachel Rower. I changed my name this year. I grew up in Tacoma, Washington, and I was a graduate from University of Washington Tacoma campus, where I majored in psychology and obtained a minor in global engagement. Directly out of undergrad, I pursued my doctoral degree from Pacific University in Hillsboro, Oregon. And the fifth year of that program was an internship in Idaho, where I worked at Pearl Health Clinic, as you already described. So a lot of what I'm saying is repeating what you already said.

But yeah, aside from pursuing my degree and being a student for most of the time that I've existed, I really love my pets. I have a cat who is a calico polydactyl cat, meaning that she has extra toe beans, so she has thumbs, which is really fun. Her name is Pickle. And then I have a dog who just turned six last week, and her name is Daisy. And I spend a lot of time with them. I'm a huge animal lover. And I really enjoy backpacking and hiking, which unfortunately I haven't done very much in the past five years. Graduate school takes up a lot of time and energy, but I'm getting back to it.

When I graduated high school, I worked in Yellowstone National Park as a room attendant for a summer. And I really enjoy going back to Yellowstone, spending time in the Tetons. But at heart, I'm a Pacific Northwest person. So yeah, I like national parks. I enjoy playing music recreationally. I sing recreationally. I also like gaming, but I'm kind of a cozy gamer. My favorite games are Animal Crossing, Mario Party and Stardew Valley.

Kate Campbell: Yeah, no “Call of Duty” or anything along those lines.

Rachel Kuras: No, I like games where I can catch fish and garden.

Kate Campbell: That's awesome. And I love that where you went to school for undergrad is where you are now a psychotherapist. So that's really cool that you continue to get to work in the same area. And on that note, I think it's just a cool thing to be able to see different parts of the Pacific Northwest, but I was wondering, what's your favorite part of being in the Seattle area now?

Rachel Kuras: I have been so grateful to be in Seattle. Growing up in Tacoma, Seattle was a north neighbor. So I spent a lot of time here growing up, and I missed Washington very dearly when I was away. Right now, my favorite part of Seattle is my neighborhood. My childhood best friend lives just like a five-minute walk away from me. So I've been moving around and away from home for a while, and now I have a best friend close by. So I've been enjoying going on walks with our dogs and just spending time in a neighborhood near people who I grew up with, which is really nice.

I also love Olympic National Park. The Olympic Peninsula is just magical, and the Puget Sound. I remember growing up, I heard stories from my dad about whales coming through the Puget Sound in the past, and I was like, "Oh, that would be so cool. I want to see a whale so bad," but not like whale watching. I want to just see a whale by chance. That sounds funner. And now they're back. They're coming through the Puget Sound, so I'm hoping to get to see them. But yeah, I love the ocean and I love the mountains, and the Pacific Northwest has it all.

Kate Campbell: Oh yeah, that's awesome. That's what I miss about the Pacific Northwest since moving back to the East Coast, so I totally know what you mean. So I was wondering what else got you interested in being a therapist? So you talked a little bit about loving where you grew up and being happy to be back in the area, but what else in terms of your experience growing up made you interested in therapy?

Rachel Kuras: Yeah, that's a big question that I could probably talk about for hours. I think to narrow it down a little bit, I had a lot of experiences growing up that really highlighted the importance of mental health literacy and access to mental health services. My experiences of being human and my experiences of suffering have fostered an interest in what it means to be human. And I really value every person that I work with sharing their individual experiences with me.

So ultimately, I have struggled with mental health myself, and mental health struggles significantly impacted my family growing up. And I saw multiple therapists as a teenager, and there was one in particular who really inspired me, and I was like, "Oh, that's who I want to be when I grow up." And I did it. So I think having access to quality mental health services is something that I'm really grateful for and I was very inspired by. And mental health is something that impacts literally every human. I think that, that did inform my interest in child and family work and in trauma work, with my own experiences growing up.

Kate Campbell: Awesome. Thank you so much for sharing. I was wondering, so what areas or disorders do you specialize in?

Rachel Kuras: So, I have the most experience working with people who have experienced childhood trauma, so post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and other specified trauma-related disorders, and also anxiety disorders, like generalized anxiety, social anxiety. I've worked with lots of kids experiencing separation anxiety, and I've worked with a few people experiencing selective mutism, so kind of the whole anxiety disorders chapter of the DSM. And right now, I'm currently working on increasing my competence in obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). So trauma and anxiety have been my main focus, and I am expanding my competence working with people who have been diagnosed with OCD.

Kate Campbell: And it's interesting, because I feel like a lot of the times therapy is hardest for people that have anxiety and your OCDs, because opening up about those kinds of disorders make people feel extremely vulnerable. And then getting to know a new person, especially a new therapist, there sometimes can be a wall up. So I was wondering, what's your treatment approach when you're going into those kinds of situations when you first meet a new patient?

Rachel Kuras: I use a person-centered, integrated approach to treatment. I have training in multiple treatment modalities. I was really lucky to work with a lot of people with a lot of different perspectives and experiences. It's a long sentence that I've strung together to try to summarize my approach. I am an attachment-oriented, trauma-informed, cognitive behavioral, acceptance and commitment, and existential therapist. So that's a lot of different treatment modalities. My approach is to meet someone and go from there. Everybody has commonalities between our experiences, but we also have things that are unique to our own lives.

So I like to start with a conversation. The therapeutic alliance is at the core of my approach, because we know through research that the therapeutic relationship is one of the most important determinants in terms of the outcomes of therapy. So if we want positive treatment outcomes, the relationship is what's most important. And as you were saying, Kate, relationships are vulnerable, especially living with chronic anxiety. So my approach is to start by building comfort, to start by getting to know each other. I'm a feedback-informed therapist, meaning I solicit feedback often, and I try to integrate client feedback actively into my approach. So my approach is pretty flexible. I like to tailor it to client needs, but I also really enjoy acceptance and commitment therapy and existential therapy.

So that was a long-winded way of explaining what it means to be an integrated therapist. But yeah, I draw from a lot of different treatment modalities. I view suffering as a central part of being human. Everyone suffers. And it's a challenge to figure out how to build a relationship with suffering and with being human that feels authentic and genuine. So I like to provide support to people in increasing the amount of internal empowerment that they have over their lived experiences. So I like to help people build a relationship with life, build a relationship with their experiences of anxiety, and find ways to connect with the present moment and exist in a way that feels less laborsome. So I like to acknowledge the role that suffering plays in our lives, and inevitably suffering is there. It's just a matter of how do we think about suffering, how do we interact with our suffering?

Kate Campbell: Wow. That's really awesome. It just sounds so individualized. There's cultural competence, it's empowering. There's just so much wrapped up in that. So I think it's awesome, just all the different facets that you incorporate into your style and your approach, so thank you for sharing it really is amazing to hear.

Rachel Kuras: Thank you. Yeah, I think it can be a little overwhelming to summarize at times. I'm also very interested in liberation psychology. Liberation psychology is an area that I've been trying also to increase my competence. And within liberation psychology, there's this idea that what each individual needs to heal is already within them. So the role of the therapist is to help someone find that within themselves. It's not my job to give advice or to provide answers. It's my job to, if your life is a trail and you're walking on it, to walk with you for a moment and to observe with you and explore that with you. Yeah, so I do really value that individual experience. And I think that there's different value in different treatment modalities, but there's also a thread that connects a lot of them. So I like to see that thread, see where they meet, and try to integrate it in a way that works for my clients.

Kate Campbell: That's super cool. I'm excited to look up liberation therapy after this just to learn more about it. That's really interesting. So on that note, how is your approach with working with children, and what's your favorite thing about getting to work with that age group?

Rachel Kuras: My approach is sitting on the floor. I'm on the floor a lot. I'm coloring a lot, playing lots of games, doing lots of art, and exploring through play. I think that kids are so fun and funny. I'm laughing a lot. It brings out a youthfulness and a playfulness in me that I really enjoy cultivating in the therapeutic space. It's hard for me to really articulate how it's different from working with adults, because I think that all adults were kids once. So there's aspects of working with kids that mirror working with adults, but kids have never been adults. So there's a lot of emphasis on cognitive development and behavioral skills.

And I focus a lot on attachment relationships, working with kids. Another thing I enjoy about working with kids is that there's a lot of wiggle room in terms of their cognitive development. There's more neuroplasticity in childhood, meaning that there's more give. As we grow into adulthood, we often become more rigid in our behaviors and our beliefs and in our worldview. And we're digging deep into the roots of what's going on, whereas with kids, it's not as deeply rooted because there hasn't been as much time for-

Kate Campbell: Within their formative years, yeah.

Rachel Kuras: Yes, exactly. So I think that there's a lot of hope and playfulness. And I'm just honored when I work with kids and families to be a part of that development. And I think these things are true working with adults as well. It's just kind of less at the center of therapy. Yeah.

Kate Campbell: Yeah, I could definitely see that. And then also the family aspect, I assume that when you're working with kids, the parents are going to have a heavier involvement than, say, a spouse would be necessarily, if it's an individual.

Rachel Kuras: Yeah, that's a good point. Working with kids is working with systems, is working with family systems, is working with school systems, is working with the foster care system. So I think that I've also really valued the experiences I've had providing services to kids, in that they give me a big picture of what's happening in the world. I didn't mention this previously, but I take a systemic approach to therapy. So I like to view our internal daily struggles within the context of larger systems. And with kids, you can't avoid that at all. With adults, sometimes one-on-one work, systems is just as important. And since you're not doing as much collaboration necessarily, you're not thrown into that systemic involvement in an individual outpatient setting with adults as much as with kids.

Kate Campbell: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And I know that over time there may be different changes in the way that you would approach both your therapy with children and adults. So I was wondering, what was your favorite part about your initial training, and then how has your perspective changed over time with that, both with different age groups, or how you have to approach your end goal when you're working with each patient?

Rachel Kuras: Yeah, so my favorite part about my training is people. I'm trying to think of the best way to word this. I feel very honored throughout my training to have been trusted by the kids and families that I've worked with, and to see some really pivotal moments of growth, amongst some really pivotal moments of suffering and pain and setbacks and stuckness. I've really enjoyed seeing kids learn about their brains and their bodies and how it works and what's happening when they have an emotion.

And I think a lot of the time when talking to kids, we don't always realize how much they're retaining, but one of my favorite parts of ... I worked with a kiddo for a long time. And I wasn't quite sure if what I was saying was landing. And then at one of our last sessions, it was like they basically described to me what happens in your central nervous system when you're feeling afraid and how they know in their body when their central nervous system is starting to get activated. So I really enjoyed those moments of like, “Yeah, you get it.”

Kate Campbell: The light bulb. Yeah.

Rachel Kuras: “You get it and you're benefiting from it and you're applying it.” And I think sometimes we underestimate kids' ability to do that. So yeah, I really valued seeing those moments of growth. And there was another part to your question, right?

Kate Campbell: Yeah. It was just what was your favorite part about your initial training, and then how has it changed a little bit?

Rachel Kuras: It changed over time. I think that I was a graduate student at a very unique time. The COVID-19 pandemic hit during my first year of practicum. So I had been working with people for about six months and then everything went online. So I think the events that have occurred during my training have really emphasized the importance and the need for mental health services, for quality mental health care providers. And it's been exciting to see more people talking openly about mental health, where in a time where when I was a child, even with my own experiences, it wasn't something that was very openly talked about. We didn't have a lot of information in my family and my neighborhood and my community about what was going on.

So it gives me a lot of hope and excitement to see the stigma around mental health decreasing. I don't think that it will disappear, but it's changing. So I think the things that have happened while I've been in grad school have really emphasized the importance of mental health care, and I feel very honored to be a part of that process. Did that answer your question?

Kate Campbell: It definitely did. It actually carries really well into my next question, because you talked about how much the conversation around mental health has changed and just some of the generational differences. It's really nice to see that kids feel more open talking about some of their struggles. But I was just wondering, so what are some of the ways that you think that the psychology community can continue to grow? You did already answer some of the ways that you've seen it transform over time, but if you have details on that too, I'd love to hear too.

Rachel Kuras: Yeah. I think that there's been an effort to expand access to resources, even just with telehealth, being able to go to therapy from home. Yeah, so access to resources, I think there's been a push for that to increase. I think that will continue to happen. And the COVID-19 pandemic and other large-scale events that have happened over the past 10 years and really over the course of human history, but just viewing this snapshot, it's something we all experience together. So I think that it's been beneficial to have a sense of humanness, to connect in our humanness as a society, whether that's between therapists and client or on a larger scale. I've seen a lot of efforts towards connection and towards valuing ourselves and valuing each other. And I hope to see that continue. And I think it will.

Kate Campbell: Yeah, it's kind of ironic that COVID-19 brought us closer together, but in a weird way, it did too.

Rachel Kuras: Yeah. And I think for a lot of people, it really emphasized the importance of social connection, because working with kids, I mean, the effects of the pandemic have been incredibly destructive on people's routines. And for kids, not going to school is a huge thing. These really essential interactions that were once there weren't there anymore. So I think it, for me, has made me value our connections. And not that I didn't before the pandemic, but it just gives a different perspective and urgency around maintaining connective relationships that cultivate growth and love and acceptance of each other.

Kate Campbell: Yeah, absolutely. And as a final question, do you have any words or advice that you would like to say to our listeners?

Rachel Kuras: Yeah. I think that if you are seeking therapy services for yourself or for a family member, I encourage you to try it, right? Even if there's fear about how it might go, dive in, be vulnerable. There's so much value that each individual person has, and I think it's easy to lose sight of that and feel disconnected from that, and it's easy to be hard on ourselves in this society. So, if you are feeling like you would benefit, even just from having a space to come and be witnessed and be heard, I encourage you to seek out therapy services, try it. And yeah, be vulnerable. Talk about mental health. Don't shy away from subjects just because they've been taboo. Yeah. I think that's it. Be open, dive in, be vulnerable.

Kate Campbell: Yeah, absolutely. Thank you for those words of encouragement, Rachel, and for joining us in our interview series. Hopefully, everyone can take something from this, and thank you all again for joining us.

Rachel Kuras: Awesome. Thank you, Kate, for having me. I'm really  grateful for this opportunity.

Kate Campbell: Of course.

* For those interested in working with Rachel, click on our appointment page to see her current availability.

Please note: The views expressed by the interviewee are for educational and informational purposes only, are not meant to diagnose or treat any condition, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Seattle Anxiety Specialists, PLLC.


Editor: Jennifer (Ghahari) Smith, Ph.D.

Psychologist Spencer McWilliams on Constructivism & Well-Being

An Interview with Psychologist Spencer McWilliams

Spencer McWilliams, Ph.D. is a a Professor Emeritus of Psychology at California State University San Marcos. He specializes in Constructivist approaches to personality and self, Personal Construct Psychology and Buddhist psychology.

Sara Wilson: Hi, everybody. Thank you for joining us today for this installment of the Seattle Psychiatrist Interview series. My name is Sara Wilson and I'm a research intern at Seattle Anxiety Specialists. We're a Seattle-based psychiatry, psychology, and psychotherapy practice specializing in anxiety disorders.

Today I'd like to welcome with us psychologist Spencer A. McWilliams. Dr. McWilliams is a Professor Emeritus of Psychology at California State University San Marcos and served as the former President of the North American Constructivist Psychology Network. He earned his PhD in Clinical Psychology at the University of Rochester in 1971 and his interests include constructivist approaches to personality and self, personal construct psychology, and Buddhist psychology. So before we get started today, could you please let us know a little bit more about yourself and, ironically, what made you interested in studying the self as it relates to psychological dysfunction?

Spencer A. McWilliams: Well, thank you. I've thought a lot about this since you invited me for the interview. I guess one of my early life experiences was kind of feeling like I didn't quite understand social interactions and stuff, why people said the things they did and why people said things they didn't mean and things they didn't say and stuff like that. So I always felt there was an interest in me to try to figure out what to make of this life that I have on this plane.

So when I went off to college, I decided just to be a liberal arts major my first couple of years. I couldn't decide what I wanted to major in, actually I was thinking about being an engineer and then suddenly I discovered that I didn't really care that much for math and science, and so I took a lot of different courses and when it came time for my junior year, I had to pick a major. So I chose psychology – I was interested in literature, in art, in psychology. I figured if I majored in literature or art, I probably wouldn't be able to get a job, but if I majored in psychology, maybe I could. And I had some experiences that kind of got me interested in clinical psychology.

I had the opportunity to work as an assistant to a psychologist in the Juvenile Hall during my junior year, and that kind of got me pointed towards clinical psychology. And so I went off and got into graduate school and, as you said, got my PhD in clinical psychology with an emphasis in community psychology at that time. So I was fortunate to get a good job at the University of Arizona right after graduate school. And I started out there trying to continue the work in community psychology that I had done with my mentor in graduate school. But I found over time that it wasn't very satisfying to me because I wanted to have a clearer sense of what a person is, what a human being is, and community psychologists were doing all these wonderful things out there in the community, helping people, but it didn't quite fit for me.

And then I got a chance to teach psychology of personality as my undergraduate course, and I had taken that class at Cal State Long Beach where I got my Bachelor's, and I really liked the way the instructor had done it. He'd chosen individual books for each individual theory, and so I decided I was going to do that. And I was at an APA Convention looking at various books, and I saw that there was this book by George Kelly called “A Theory of Personality”, which I learned is the first three chapters of this major work. And I had remembered that one of my profs in graduate school had told us a story about Kelly, about how he had applied his own theory to some problems that he was having to deal with himself. And I thought, well, that really appealed to me, the idea that if we're going to have a theory personality, it ought to be able to explain what we do rather than just say that it's for other people.

So I decided to have his book, along with a book on psychoanalysis and a book on behaviorism and a book on Carl Rogers. And so I hadn't read anything about the guy. So I actually was about two weeks ahead of my class reading that book, and it was like an epiphany. It was like suddenly I said, "Oh, this is my tribe. I've finally come home to people who look at the world the way I do." So I got to reading everything I could find about Kelly and his work and found out that at that time, most of the work in the field was going on in England and I had a sabbatical coming up, and various colleagues I got in touch with, some people in England, seeing if I could come and study with them in my sabbatical. And I heard from everybody, but one of them, a woman named Fay Fransella, who was really one of the key players in personal construct psychology in the UK at that time. And she invited me to come and spend a year with her at the Royal Free Hospital School of Medicine where she was a faculty member.

And I got to hang out with all kinds of different people who were interested in Kelly's work. And then when I came back to Arizona and said, "Okay, what am I going to do next?" So I continued working on Kelly's work, and I'll describe his work more fully when we talk about constructivism, and then I got interested in, this is on my personal path, interested in Buddhism and started working with a teacher at the Zen Center of Los Angeles, a woman named Charlotte Joko Beck, who had just started teaching, well she was in her 60s at that time, and I became one of her students and studied with her for about 30 years until her death about 10 years ago.

And I continued to practice what she taught and continued to read her work. And so that's a major part of my journey in life. So the question about self, it comes up in different ways in each of these various places. The constructivists are going to say that the self is an inventive construct that we made up. And the Buddhists, of course, are going to say that there really is no such thing as a self, it's just an illusion that we have. So that kind of gives you an overview of the kind of things that I've studied over the course of my career and even since my retirement.

Sara Wilson: Great. This is really, really cool. So getting right into it, in your paper, “Inherent Self, Invented Self, Empty Self: Constructivism, Buddhism, and Psychotherapy”, you outlined many of the valuable aspects of constructivist psychotherapy over foundationalist psychotherapy, drawing on, as you said, Buddhist outlooks on the human condition. So first and foremost, you mentioned this term constructivism and constructivist practice. Could you explain to our audience what constructivism is?

Spencer A. McWilliams: Well, sure. I'm happy to do so, but I want to have the caveat that this is just my construction, my understanding of it. This is not the truth or the final word on it. So, one of the things that struck me about George Kelly's work when I started reading it is he said that, his basic philosophical assumption underlined here is that all of our present interpretations and understandings of the world are subject to revision and replacement. So I'm getting goosebumps just saying that, what it's really saying is that we humans are creating or constructing our understanding of our experience in the world. And we try to make sense of it, but there's no external source of what we should do.

Basically, the constructivists would say that, well, some of them would say that constructivism is about how we find meaning to life and others of us would say that constructivism is all there is in making sense of life. That we humans are basically dealing with the world, seeing things that are familiar and unfamiliar, things that we recognize and don't recognize. And out of that, we begin to develop these bipolar dimensions and things like hot versus cold and up versus down, and very, very hot these days versus much cooler. And that while we learn from our community, obviously we learn languages and words and how to apply words to these dimensions that we come up with, that the dimensions are just bipolar dimensions that we use to make sense out of what it is that we see.

Now, we give words to those dimensions and we give words to the things that fit along those dimensions, and this is getting more into the Buddhist perspective, but the words that we develop lead us, and the fact that we separate things that we recognize and don't recognize leads us into the idea that individual things exist, individual things that we give names to. But what we begin to see from the constructor's perspective is that those are our personal dimensions. Those are our personal ways of making meaning out of life. And one of the constructs in person construct psychology is the notion of poor constructs, that we develop some sense of who it is that we are in relation to our experience that we have in the world, and most of the constructors would say it has to do with our experience of the world, not with the environment, because there really is no fixed environment. It's our experience and how we make sense of it.

Sara Wilson: Just, if I'm understanding you correctly, there are at least two branches of constructivism. So one of which boils down to how we make sense of our world and that is all we are in touch with, regardless of whether there is an external world or any truth to the external world. And then there's maybe the Buddhist outlook on constructivism, which asserts that that is all there is; just our meanings which aren't conversant about any external world or ultimate truth.

Spencer A. McWilliams: Yes, I wouldn't refer to Buddhism as a branch of constructivism. I think the fact that I have... I learned about constructivism then I learned about Buddhism, and initially it was a problem because I thought, well, these are really incompatible, but as I learned more, I found, well, no, they are compatible, but they're different. I think the difference is that, I'm talking about from a therapeutic or counseling perspective, that the constructivist perspective basically helps people to make sense out of the way they look at the world and helps them to see how the ways they're looking at the world may not be effective in having them be able to meet their needs and what they want in life.

The Buddhist perspective is focused on the same kind of issue of dissatisfaction in life, why life is so dissatisfying, but rather than trying to figure out how to make your sense of the world work better, the Buddhist perspective is then to say, "Well, what's important is forgetting your perspective on the world and what you're trying to make sense of it. Just be with what's going on in the moment, because all those words and all those concepts and ideas take me away from this experiencing life as it is."

Sara Wilson: Yeah, for sure. And now just kind of bringing this into a therapeutic context, how does constructivism differ from this term or this practice, foundationalism? And what are the potential dangers of a foundationalist view of self in the context of mental health?

Spencer A. McWilliams: Okay. Well, let me talk a little bit about foundationalism. It's actually pretty much the way that most people look at the world. It has evolved out of the Christian frame of mind and science, but the foundationalism, other names for it are realist for example, is the view that there is, in addition to our being in the world and our way of looking at the world, there is something external to us that we think of as the way that the world is. Okay? So if we're trying to learn about how to make sense out of life and what's going on and the foundationalist view would be to say, there is a specific way and that any knowledge, in order to be true or valuable, has to correspond to the way the world actually is independently.

Okay? Well there's a big problem with that because we would have no way of knowing. There's no way that we could figure out. One of my favorite early Greek sophist philosophers, Gorgias, talked about this. And basically he said that the problem is that, in order for us to determine whether our view of the world is the correct view of the world, we would have to have a separate referee, separate from we humans who could look at our theory, our idea about things, look at the way the world really is, as if there was a way that it is, and be able to tell us whether that was correct.

Okay? Well that's a nice idea, but it doesn't exist. It's impossible. So there's no way we can really know how the way world is or the world or the universe and whatever we want to call it is on its own independently of us, because the only way we can come to know it is through our trying to make sense using our constructs that we invent to make meaning out of the experiences that we have and trying to continue to improve our knowledge and understanding so it seems to make more sense for us, but even though sciences, we talk about discoveries as if Einstein was walking along the path one day and kicked a rock, rolled over and up jumped this thing that said, "Hi, I'm the theory of relativity," and he discovered it. Well, he didn't discover it, he invented it. He used his own intelligence to make sense out of physics and that's what he came up with.

So, there's a big debate that goes on and there's a kind of little war between the foundationalists and the constructivists in some of the literature because the constructivists want to believe that there is a truth and a reality that we're dealing with and that there is an exact way that things are. And when the constructivists say, "Well no, there are a variety of alternative ways of making sense of the world and none of them are the absolute truth," foundationalists get kind of anxious about that. That makes them a little bit worried because they want to know the truth. And this is a perspective that most people have, that there's something that is the truth out there, whether it's a scientific truth or whether it's a religious truth or whatever else, that there is a truth and that we want to know what that is.

So the difference between the foundationalist view and the constructivist view is that the foundationalist view is saying that there is something real, that there is something called the self that is something real we possess. I don't know who it is that possesses it in there, but that's the idea that we have, we have a personality that psychological problems can be categorized into the diagnostic and statistic manual, we can attach these diagnoses and things to people when they're having troubles with their lives. The constructivists would say, "No, we're looking at people as individuals. We want to know how they look at the world, what's going on in their life, and how we can help them to make better sense of it." So those are some differences then.

Sara Wilson: Yeah, I think you put that really well. And it does really come down to reconstructing this narrative around agency, because on the foundationalist account, psychological wellbeing consists of, as you said, adjustment and adaptation to this so-called fixed reality of self and environment, as well as the absence of disorder. So in turn, not really leaving room for agency of self and ignoring this very real ability to create meaning for an organizing and understanding experience, as you mentioned.

Spencer A. McWilliams: Yeah. Makes a lot of sense that what most of us are looking for in terms of helping other people is that idea of helping people to be an agent in their lives and helping them to continue evolving, I think, is the way that I... But the foundationalist approach tends to want to stop at a certain point in evolution and say, "Well, this is it. Evolution's over and we're done and everything's fine now," but somehow life doesn't seem to want to go the way I want it to.

Sara Wilson: Right. So we already touched on this a little bit, but what is the value of constructivism in a therapeutic context? And could you maybe give an example of what this might look like in therapy?

Spencer A. McWilliams: Sure. The idea with constructivism is the same, that there's no truth out there, there's no external source of truth or absolute about how it is that we are supposed to behave or what we need to do, how we're supposed to be. A lot of the problems that people have is that they're trying to behave the way they think they're supposed to behave rather than the way that they would naturally behave. So the constructivists would, rather than trying to pin a label on a person and consider it a disorder and look for a specific cure of that disorder, would be helping the person come to understand themselves and how they make sense of things.

I'll give an example, when I was in England on my sabbatical, one of the things that my mentor, Fay Fransella, had done, she had done a lot of work on applying personal construct psychology therapy in stuttering, and stuttering is a big problem in the UK. In England, there's a lot of emphasis on being proper and saying things the right way. So a lot of people who have difficulty with that end up being stutterers, and so she assigned me a client who was a stutterer. And so getting to know him, he worked as an interior designer. He had trouble saying that. He worked for one of the brewing companies, so he designed pubs. So he always said he was a pub designer – he could say that easier.

And so one of the things that we did was to use a tool that George Kelly had developed and other people since then have really elaborated on a lot, where we ask the person to come up with names of people who have played different roles in their life, and you have maybe a list of maybe a dozen or 15 people, and so then bringing them together in groups of three. So say maybe this was your high school teacher and this was your father and this is your first girlfriend, and ask, what is a way in which two of these people are alike that make them different from the third? Okay? So they're having to come up with, on their own, there's not some truth about it. I mean you can't use, "Well, these two are female and this one's male," yeah, but what about their personality, what they're like? And out of that, you begin to develop a network and a hierarchically organized network of what this person sees as the way other people in their life are like and how they see themselves, because the self is also one of the elements that they would use.

And one of the things I found in working with this fellow is that he had come from the north of England, now he was in London, which is sort of like coming from Arkansas and now being in New York. And of course he didn't speak the way the Londoners spoke. It was an accent that he had and that was part of the problem with his stuttering. But one of the important concepts for him about who he was is that it was important to him to be perfectly natural was the term he'd use, as opposed to the contrast to that being putting on airs. Okay? So he was really stuck because he wanted to be able to get along in London and be effectively good in his job, but he wanted to be perfectly natural. He didn't like to feel like he was putting on airs, but if he talked like they did, then for him that would be putting on airs. So we were to kind of separate those things out, seeing that it wouldn't necessarily have to be putting on airs for you to practice a different way, just a different role you can try on for the moment.

And so we worked out a description of a role that he could play where he would be perfectly natural but also fluent verbally, and it was like, okay, you're going to pretend to be this character we just made up for two weeks and then the character's going to go away and you're going to come back. So it isn't like you have to be this way, there's something wrong with the way you are, it's just wouldn't it be interesting to try to behave in a different way to see how it works out? And so that's another of Kelly's original methods. And of course, we've been elaborating on a whole lot more in the 50 years since Kelly did the work that he did. That's one example.

Sara Wilson: Yeah. I think that that is a very inspiring story for people who feel trapped in a certain kind of self and feel inclined towards attachment and fixation to a certain being. And I think that your practice very much emphasizes acceptance in a way and acknowledgement, but also really highlights this ability to make real change that starts with your thoughts. So you already touched on this a little bit also, but I think it's important to go back to this kind of foundation; what parallels can be drawn between constructivist approaches to psychological dysfunction and Buddhist outlooks on the human condition?

Spencer A. McWilliams: That's a really good question. Well, to go back to the classical constructivist view, kind of like Kelly, his definition of the psychological disorder is the continued use of a way of anticipating events in spite of their repeated invalidation. It sounds a lot like what Einstein said was the definition of craziness; continue to do the same thing over and over again and it didn't work.

So the constructivist would want to help the person to take a look at the way they're making sense of the world, find a way for them to be consistent with their most deeply held values, but maybe try out different experiments with their life. But I think even most of the constructivists, and this was a problem I got into when I got into Buddhism, dealing with my own issues there, is that issues we would sort of say that the self, in constructivism, is the constructs you use, the dimensions that you use to make sense of the world and make sense of yourself in relation to other people would be the kind of person that you are, what are your core values? So you don't want to try to encourage the person to behave in a way that's inconsistent with their core values, but you can see if you can find alternate ways that they can behave that are consistent with their core values, if they can give them a chance to try out something different.

Okay. Well the Buddhist perspective, basically their fundamental issue is that the Buddha was concerned with why is it that life seems so unsatisfactory for people? And how can people get out of feeling that life is unsatisfactory? The term that he used to refer to a dissatisfactory life is a term that is something like Dukkha, which literally means a bad fit between a wheel and an axle. Okay? So as you can sort of imagine though, if the wheel is wobbly on the axle, the cart's not going to go very well. If it's sticking and can't turn well, it's not going to go well. So the basic issue in Buddhism is, how can people get away from feeling that their life is not working well, that their life is a bad fit between their wheels and their axles?

So what he found as he worked on his own journey was that the problem we had is that when we go through life, there are certain things that happen that we like, and there are certain things that happen that we don't like. Now these things just happen. There's no purpose to any of it, it just goes on out there. So our liking or disliking it is our own issue, but we have this tendency to want to be attached to the things that we like. We get greedy for the things we like, we want them to stay with us and never go away. And we want to get away from the things that we don't like. And that, by doing this, we're living an illusion and thinking that the world is composed of good things and bad things. Okay?

Sara Wilson: Right.

Spencer A. McWilliams: And so what happens is that, again life never goes the way we want it to go. Again, the universe is on its own. The universe doesn't care about what we say about or the words we use. And so the whole approach then in Buddhism is for us to begin to come to understand these bipolar dimensions that the constructivists talk about, how it is that they end up running our life. And so we need to find a way of learning about those dimensions in a way that's going to sustain itself over a lifetime.

So the Buddhist practices, you start out with meditation where what you're doing is, well, first of all, what you're doing is trying to see if you can sit still for a while and not get caught up in all the stuff you think you have to do in order for everything to be okay. And that usually takes the first few years of a practitioner's life and just where you don't think every thought comes into your mind as something you got to do something about. And over time you begin to see what the patterns are in your thoughts, the thoughts that come in, and over time, if you sit with them long enough, you get bored with them and you begin to be more open to the immediate situation. And the openness to the immediate situation means being able to experience what's going on fully, just experience what it feels like and what you're seeing, rather than immediately making this judgment that this is good and I got to do more, this is bad and I got to get away from it, or something like that.

So in doing that, you kind of see through the illusion that there's a self, but one thing, who is it who's having all of these thoughts? And that's one of the things that people want to get. They say, "I want to find out what the self in there is like." Well, the problem is that every time you go looking for yourself, that's just more thoughts. So if you're looking for the thinker, you can never find the thinker, all you're finding is thoughts. And eventually you become aware that the notion that we're separate beings doesn't really make sense and it actually fits in nicely with what's going on currently on the cutting edge of sciences like physics and chemistry.

I've been recently looking at the great courses, which is a thing you get online to listen to lectures from people in these fields. And what we end up seeing is that, well first of all, everything is made out of the same stuff. And that same stuff really isn't anything, it's mostly just these vibrations that go around the nuclei of atoms. And I guess they see now they're getting down where they can see that the nuclei are made up of quirks and strangeness and stuff like that. But it's really no thing. And in this force in chemistry you see that all of the elements are made up of exactly the same kind of atoms and electrons, it's just some of them have more than the other ones. Okay?

So everything in the universe is really just all the same stuff. But when we get into labeling things, you see words, labeling things and saying, "Well, this is a tree and this is a rock," then we begin to develop the idea that our world is composed of individual things that have their own individual identity, their own selfhood. Okay? So we think that a rock is a rock and there's some characteristic that it has, it is inherently the rock-ness of it. I don't mean this particular example of a rock, and Aristotle was big on that, if you look up the word, there must be something that it refers to. Well, no, it's just our words. So what we're looking to do is to come to see that there is no separation, there is no separate self, there's no innate, inherent self in the human being any more than there's some innate, inherent thing that is tree-ness, the trees have in common, the rock-ness that rocks have in common. And so that's an unfolding way of looking at the world.

Sara Wilson: I think that this leads us really nicely into my next question because this line of thinking is absolutely applicable to knowledge as well. So in your discussion of epistemological understandings of self, you note how knowledge is evolving interdependently within social and personal contexts and it's passed in conventional rather than absolute language. And so we cannot assume that our knowledge about the self proves the existence of an objective self metaphysically. And so I was wondering if you could explain this distinction between epistemology and metaphysics to our audience and how this might inform therapeutic practice.

Spencer A. McWilliams: Well, okay, sure. One of the things that George Kelly said when I first started reading him way back was he said that when a person makes a statement about their experience of the world and proposes how they might understand it, there are two ways that we can look at that. One is we could say that, well, what they're saying is the way it really is out there in the world, independently of a person, or the other way is that this is just one person's hopeful way of trying to make some sense out of being out of their mind. So there are two really different ways, and they're reflecting the foundationalist view on the one hand that there's a truth out there and the constructive view that says, "We humans are responsible for making sense out of what we do." So a lot of the groundwork in constructivism is related to the philosophy of pragmatism. And the philosophy of pragmatism says that since we don't know how we would ever know whether our thoughts and ideas and theories and concepts are the truth, then the issue should be which one of these ideas is likely to work better for us in solving human problems? And we can think of that on a societal level saying, what is it that's going on in our lives that is a problem and how do we solve this particular problem? Now, if we come up with a solution to this particular problem, it doesn't mean that we've found the truth. It means that, well, this worked this time and it may not work the next time, and that we keep our minds open and recognize that it's all we human beings. There's nothing external to us that's going to help us out there.

So if we think epistemologically, what we're doing is we're each, as individuals and then as a society, because we grew up in a society and we learn a language and we learn how to, I mean a lot of learning language as children is learning the names we're supposed to give to things, that's a tree and that's a bird and this sort of thing. And then there's this solution that because we got the name for it, we understand something about it, which we don't necessarily, but that we're making sense out of things in that particular specific way. Whereas in the constructivist view, again, we're saying we don't know anything beyond what we experienced, but over the course of our lifetime, we come into contact with different people, our parents and the society we live in where, again, we learn various words for things, we learn various things that are good and various things that are bad, what are considered good morals and that sort of thing. And we come to have the sense that that's the way the world is, particularly most people grew up pretty close to where they were born, and they interact with the same people pretty much their whole lives. And so they begin to develop this idea as they develop their sense of kinship, or maybe even a tribal sense of belongingness with this group, that this group's way of looking at the world is the way that it is. And then when they come in contact with people who are different from them, there's a tendency, so our group is better, we're better than the other people, they're inferior to us. So that sense we have, a kind of belongingness through our tribal membership, it inevitably leads to ethnocentricity where we think that our group is doing things the right way. And so anyone who's not in our group is inferior, so we don't need to treat them in the same way we would treat our kinship. 

And that creates a lot of the difficulties and problems, and I'm probably wandering away from the exact question you were asking, but you were asking about epistemology and metaphysics, how do we view the world that we live in? If we view the world that we live in as made up of different things, some of which are good, some of which are bad, of different people, some of whom are good and some of whom are bad, then we're constantly in struggle with the world around us. And all the things you read on the news are good examples of that.

Whereas, if we think of the world as a process rather than a thing, that it's a process where things continually change, things continually evolve, then we can see that things are more like events that occur in particular times and places and its way of dependent interaction with other events that are occurring. So things have their qualities and characteristics, but they're changing and they only have those characteristics because they're emerging out of other patterns and other flows of various events. So when you think of an event or even a person as an interaction of constantly evolving and changing processes that don't have any permanent nature to them, well, we'll see the world in a different way. We're not something separate. We're just part of those flowing processes ourselves.

Sara Wilson: Right. Yeah. All of this really reminded me of John Locke's theory of ideas. In my philosophy major, I engaged with him a little bit, and he's concerned with what we can know from this theory of ideas, and according to Locke, and I think the constructivists would agree, knowledge is the perception of the agreement or disagreement of our ideas.

Spencer A. McWilliams: Yeah.

Sara Wilson: And in this alone it consists. So, a system of epistemology and a system of understanding self, for example, relies on ideas alone, since it's all our mind really has access to. And so it's evident that our knowledge is only conversant about ideas. And I think this would scare a lot of people, and especially the foundationalists, but I think when you lean into constructivism and really take the time to understand it, it becomes evident that agency really becomes possible.

Spencer A. McWilliams: Yeah. Yeah. It's only in a place where there's no fixed truths is there room for us to grow and develop and evolve and solve our problems.

Sara Wilson: Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Now, in your paper, “The Sacred Way of Liberal Arts”, you employ this religious metaphor, idolatry, which arises from our failure to appreciate our knowledge as a human invention that can only represent reality but cannot be reality. What is the importance of epistemic humility and perhaps embracing obscurity and paradox when it comes to informing conceptions of self and contributing to happiness and wellbeing?

Spencer A. McWilliams: Well, as we've been saying, it's probably most useful to regard self as a social construct, a convention that society finds useful, reading something about it recently that was talking about how society creates this notion that you are something in there and then it holds that thing responsible for what it does. So it's kind of a little paradox. So, remind me what the question was here.

Sara Wilson: It was an elaboration on this term idolatry as it relates to a therapeutic context.

Spencer A. McWilliams: Okay. Yeah, yeah. So you're asking about what the benefit is to us of having this open-minded view about the world, that it gives us an opportunity to grow and develop and then gives us an opportunity to make changes. And it also gives us an opportunity to move beyond being stuck in the past, stuck in the past of our own experience growing up in life and the past of human beings. And there's, sorry, I had a quote I was going to mention, but it slipped my mind. That's what happens when you get to be my age, you have that to look forward to.

Sara Wilson: Yeah. Well, I mean we talked about this a good amount, but all of this certainly contributes to a rich philosophical discourse surrounding truth, so your papers “Truth as Trophy” and “Who Do You Think You Are?” inquire about the origins and validity of the term truth? Could you share your conclusions with our audience? And also how might reconceptualizing what truth means inform our approach to psychological dysfunction and our personal relationship to negative thoughts?

Spencer A. McWilliams: Well, first of all, I would make it clear that the word truth is a judgment. Truth or falsity is a judgment that human beings make of a statement that another human being made. Okay? So truth only has to do with sentences that we speak or sentences that we write. That is whether someone agrees with it or not, because again, there's no way to find that separate way of asking, this idea of true. So I think if you look at science, you see that science is an evolving process of people coming up with sentences and theories that they find useful in making sense out of their study of the field. And what happens is that if enough people begin to find that theory or that perspective useful, then pretty soon the society of scientists in that field are going to come along to adopt that theory as being the dominant theory.

So they will say that it's the truth. That's what the term in my paper, “Truth as Trophy”, that it's the award that we give to a theory or concept that someone has come up with that we can't find a way to refute, for now. Okay? But if you look at the history of science or history of human knowledge, eventually every theory has holes in it, and then you have a scientific revolution where somebody comes up with a new theory and people are going to live in that for a while. And that's the way that we humans can operate, just to keep evolving our ideas and our way of making sense out of things, but to not get stuck on the idea that because we've come up with something that everybody agrees upon, that now we've hit on a universal truth just about the world itself.

Sara Wilson: Now, how might a person integrate this line of thought within their personal relationship to their mind or to their self or who they think their self is or negative thoughts?

Spencer A. McWilliams: Well, I think first of all, it's useful to be open to the awareness that the self is something that evolves over time, over the course of a lifetime. The best book I like, my favorite book on that, is by a guy who was at Harvard College of Education, see if I can pull up his name. Robert Kegan, his book is called “The Evolving Self”, and he talks about how we can evolve our understanding of ourself in the world and we can get it to a point where it seems to be working for us, we know our way around town, we know our role in relation to other people, we know how to solve problems and things like that. So we're happy, we're content, and we're happy to stay in this perspective. And about half the population is basically in that perspective, it's, again, that sort of ethnocentric belongingness to their group kind of point of view. But we can evolve beyond that, if we can step back from the way that our experience has been in the world and begin to see that there are other ways that people live in the world, there are other possibilities. I know for me, one of the big experiences in my life was I grew up in a relatively small city in Northern Colorado. The high school sponsored a spring break educational tour, and I managed to talk my folks into letting me go on it and saving up enough money to do it. And we went to Chicago, we went to New York City, we went to Washington DC, we went to, what's it down in Virginia? It's amazing how many of these common words slip out of my memory, Williamsburg.

And when I went back to my hometown, it just didn't look the same. I mean I had met people who never even heard of my hometown. Who can imagine that? So I think when we have experiences where we get outside of our comfort zones and outside of where we have been all of our lives and interact with other people, we begin to see that there are more options and more possibilities, and we can use that to evolve our sense of self. And as somebody who has certain strengths and certain capabilities to be effective in the world. And then beyond that, eventually at some point really seeing the total relativity of all of the ways of being, ways of life that people have, and begin to see that there's not one that's better than the other, they're just different. And we can treat everybody in the world the same way we would treat our own family because we see that we are connected with them. Now, that's a hard place to get, and Kegan thinks that probably only a few people get to that, maybe 10% of the population gets to the point where they can see things in that way. And probably only past the age of 40 or so when we evolve that far, where we can continually evolve throughout our lives, the idea that there's not one way of doing things and the way that we grew up is the correct one.

Sara Wilson: Yeah. This is great. Now, throughout this interview, we've been leaning a lot into this notion of the dependency and the emptiness of self, but I did want to touch on the flip side of that. In your paper, “Inherent Self, Invented Self, Empty Self”, you do acknowledge that many psychotherapeutic approaches describe human development in terms of an identity at one stage, which evolves into an identity at the next stage. And so in such Buddhist approaches, which emphasize seeing through the illusion of an inherent self, require a prior development of an effective sense of self structure as some foundation. So keep this in mind, how should we view the self in a therapeutic context?

Spencer A. McWilliams: Well, I think, and I've come to this late in my career, I think that the developmental psychologists, they like people who do lifespan development, are on the same thing. Now, people are sort of familiar with Piaget and he has the concrete operations and formal operations and those kinds of things. Well, Piaget was a constructivist and Piaget's ideas, some people who have studied him in the original French have said that he was a constructivist by saying that what the child is doing is organizing their experience. In the US, we have a tendency to say it's organizing the environment, that it's the environment that they're making sense of, rather than that it's their experience. But there are these consistent phases or steps in development that Maslow, Loevinger, other developmental psychologists, Ken Wilbur has integrated and synthesized all of them. He's an independent scholar that knows everything about everything and makes sense of it.

But I think it's useful for us to be aware that we need to understand the stage of evolution that is perceived in. So for example, if a person is in that really almost childhood stage where they're primarily focused on power and safety and security and getting things for themselves and tit for tat responses to people that get in their way and things like that, there are a few adults around who behave like that. Some of them are in the news a lot, and that's almost like dealing with someone with a sociopathic personality. They haven't gotten to a point where they've evolved into seeing themselves as connected with others, which is where we get into, I think high school as the place in our lives, that adolescent time, we want to make sure that we fit in, we get along, we belong, we identify with our school or our church or whatever it is.

Okay. Someone who's in that stage of development, they're going to have a very strong sense of relationship, who they are as a relationship. They'll probably think of themselves as a parent or sibling or what their job is or something like that. So, working with someone in that perspective, you need to be aware of that and be conscious of them. If a person is in, or probably many people who would go into therapy would be in that next stage where they're finding out that there's an individuality to themselves, finding out that they can still be members of their family, but they can be off doing something that's different. They're, again, developing their own skills and that's what comes from getting a good education and evolving that stage of evolution we are in. And then they can evolve beyond that to the constructivist or postmodern view where they can look back on all of those skills they developed and all of those characteristics as being ways that they could make sense of the world and make it meaningful.

But they're within a context of and the idea that we don't know what the final answer is, before it even makes sense to even ask questions about the final answer. So those stages of evolution, I'm coming to see, is more and more important in working with people therapeutically, knowing where a person is coming from, because that's how we create the sense of identity as being different in each of these stages. Where our identity is with our group, our identity is with my own ideas and beliefs in life. My identity is as part of the group, part of the larger group, part of the worldwide group.

Sara Wilson: So, as we're coming to a close with our conversation, I was just wondering if there is anything else you'd like to share with our audience?

Spencer A. McWilliams: Well, I think about this in terms of the writing that I've done over the last 20 years, and you referred to, that in my writing, what I'm trying to do, I'm very much a scholar. I have lots and lots of citations and a big, long, long set of references. But for me, those references that I refer to in the body of the paper are ways of pointing a direction for someone who might be reading, and saying, "If you want to know more about this, here's where you should find it." Sort of like finding the path to different reasonings. So don't just take what I've said, but if it's piqued your interest, here's where you can really find out more about it. And I would say that what I would emphasize in life is to continue finding out more about things, and ourselves too, come to know ourself and to see the rigidities and all the problems in the way that we come to develop this hardened notion of who we are, begin to let go of some of these ways of being. And it's a lifelong process, and I know that when I was in my late 30s and I started doing meditation, working with Joko, she was saying that after about 20 years of sitting, you'll begin to get some benefit from it. I thought, “Oh my God, I don't have time for that.” Well, that's 40 years ago now and I'm still just beginning to get what the benefit is of it. So it's something that we continue throughout our entire lives if we're open to it and it gives us a lot more freedom.

Sara Wilson: Well, thank you so much for joining us today. This was such a cool conversation and I really think that every person, no matter their discipline, can learn something really valuable from your practice. So thank you.

Spencer A. McWilliams: Well, thank you very much for inviting me here.

Please note: The views expressed by the interviewee are for educational and informational purposes only, are not meant to diagnose or treat any condition, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Seattle Anxiety Specialists, PLLC.


Editor: Jennifer (Ghahari) Smith, Ph.D.

Psychologist George Bonanno on Trauma, PTSD & Resilience

* Note: Video is unavailable for this interview.

An Interview with Psychologist George Bonanno

George Bonanno, Ph.D. is a professor of clinical psychology at Columbia University's Teacher College. His research specializes in human resilience in the face of loss and potential trauma.

Tori Steffen:  Hi, everybody. Thank you for joining us today for this installment of The Seattle Psychiatrist Interview Series. I'm Tori Steffan, research intern at Seattle Anxiety Specialists. We're a Seattle-based psychiatry, psychology and psychotherapy practice specializing in anxiety disorders. I'd like to welcome with us today psychologist George Bonanno. Dr. Bonanno is a professor of clinical psychology at Columbia University's Teacher College. Dr. Bonanno is recognized for his pioneering research on human resilience in the face of loss and potential trauma. In addition to the books, The End of Trauma and The Other Side of Sadness, he's published hundreds of peer reviewed scientific articles, many appearing in leading journals. So before we get started today, could you please let us know a little bit more about yourself and what made you interested in studying trauma and resilience?

George Bonanno:  Oh, that's a good question. I have a long and a short answer to that question. The shorter answer I guess is I had the opportunity when I finished my doctoral program. I was trained, I think, pretty well in experimental research and in this general research methodology part of my clinical psychology degree. And the first position I took was in San Francisco, the bereavement project when I was given basically free range to design this massive study with the resources there. And so we just basically used methods that hadn't been used before with this kind of phenomenon. A lot of the work is mostly clinical and with people who were suffering. So the assumption at the time was that most people were suffering greatly with disease of the brain. Same thing with the trauma one. And when we used a different approach, more of a I think... we would get a broader... Okay, I was going to say epidemiological.

We did a broad swatch of people, anyone who had gone through a loss and then eventually did that in the trauma too. Anyone who'd gone through a particular event, we were interested in, and we would interview them and do experimental work with them and questionnaires as soon as we could after the event, and then following them. Right away, we began to see that so many, many people were showing, they had a difficult time talking about it when they had to, but they were basically functioning really well in their lives. And we found that right away and so we began to document that. And then I thought, "Well, this is kind of remarkable." So I was interested in this and we just kept pursuing it. And before I even realized it, I've now been studying that for 30 years. I didn't really intend that, but that's what we've been doing.

Tori Steffen:  Right. Yeah, it's funny how one study can kind of lead you down a road that way.

George Bonanno:  Exactly, yeah.

Tori Steffen:  Yeah. Well, I ended up reading your book, The End of Trauma, which was very interesting and investigates why some people might develop PTSD after traumatic events and then some might not. So could you kind of explain that for the audience a little bit?

George Bonanno:  Well, as I mentioned, we were finding these patterns for years. We called one the resilience pattern or the resilience trajectory, and those are people who they go through an event, everybody is distressed and disturbed by a major stressor or a major, I use the word 'potential trauma', but everybody has those reactions. And I'd say just about everybody and maybe 85% of the people exposed by a major life-threatening event or a major loss, or something like that. But for most people, it seems to abate within a few weeks, sometimes a little bit longer, sometimes a little bit less. And so we've replicated this now so many times and other people have now as well, dozens maybe. I think the last count it was something like 80 or 90 studies showing this. So of course over time, I was busy just simply verifying this and looking at it from this way and that way to make sure we were correct in this assumption, that these people were really resilient, they're not just telling us. So we had alternative methods. We usually talk to multiple people.

So then of course, naturally we began to ask, “What causes this? Why is it that these people are so resilient and other people not?” And that's a question I'm still trying to understand today. There's a longer answer to that one and also a shorter answer. The shorter answer if I can give you it quickly is that, so there are many factors that can be identified that correlate with resilience, and we've identified these factors and other people have too. And there's a widespread assumption that there's sort of several key factors that make people resilient and resilient people have these. And after really thinking about this and studying this for years, I think they've come to the realization that there aren't key factors. There's so many correlatives, so many predictors that they're just a multitude, well over 50 and counting.

And so how do we make sense of that? But it turns out all these things also are pretty small effects. In other words, they only really explain a little bit. There isn't any one factor that really makes you resilient or not. In fact, people aren't resilient. And that led that people have to become resilient. Resilience I think of as an outcome. So all those, I'm flying a lot of this past everybody. But the answer becomes what I call regulatory flexibility. Every time we're confronted with an event, we'd have to work it out. We'd have to embrace the event and find out for ourselves what works in this situation. And we do that through a process of trial and error. And that's very much the way humans cope, very much the way humans do the world. We are equipped for that. We try things, if it doesn't work, we try something else. So that's really the answer. We've studied flexibility now in detail, we have many different components of flexibility. We identified the pieces of us and we try to keep it simple, but life is not always simple.

Tori Steffen:  There's so many aspects and variables that kind of go into resilience. And I remember reading about the resilience paradox, and I think you listed, like you were saying, about 50 variables that could go into why somebody might be resilient after experiencing trauma. One variable that I remember being pretty significant is having a support group or people around you to support you after experiencing trauma. How significant would you say that particular variable is?

George Bonanno:  Well, I think there are some factors, social support, emotional support, instrumental support. If you break down social support or what we call interpersonal support, it's actually not one thing, it's many things. And people need different things at different times. So sometimes they need help with the daily aspects of living, instrumental support. Sometimes they need the emotional support. Sometimes they just simply need the group to belong to, it's about identity. So there are lots of different pieces of that. And we tend to assume that social support, anyone of this broader umbrella of support is really the "that's always good". But the research shows pretty clearly, it's not always good. It comes with a cost. Everything comes with a cost. Benefits and cost. And the cost of support have been studied research wise, and people have told me different costs that sometimes people just aren't able to engage in the kind of reciprocity that's required for support.

Sometimes the support is well intended, but not very helpful. Sometimes the support might undermine a person's sense of efficacy and sometimes it's just not what people need. Sometimes people need to be isolated, they need to be alone and work something out for themselves. Sometimes people don't want to be around other people because of whatever the event was that they experienced. And so in particular moments, it's not always the answer. And another piece of that is that when we cope with something major, it doesn't go away, as every good therapist... No, it doesn't go away and when you say, "Here's what I need you to do," bing - now it's gone. It takes time. And so what we do at any one time is different to what we do at another time. And so being around other people and just hanging out with other people, just enjoying their company and not thinking about the event is what we need maybe a little bit later down the road.

Maybe what we need immediately is just to be comforted by someone. Maybe we need help, as I mentioned, instrumental support and that comes somewhere in the middle. It all depends. And sometimes, as I said, we just want to be alone for some point of it. So it's really a matter of, we're not talking about, if your social supports always good, this is what we've been... What's good at this moment? And that's really what we see as being helpful.

Tori Steffen:  Right. Yeah, I can see that it would definitely vary between participants that you've interviewed. One situation might work out a little bit better. So it definitely just varies across the population. And the flexibility sequence that you had mentioned earlier, I remember in your book it stated somebody asking themselves after a traumatic event, what am I able to do versus what do I need to do. How might that distinction help one be more flexible?

George Bonanno:  Well, that distinction that's when we break it down and move to different components. So part of being flexibly adapting, which you'd say, is reading the situation first. A lot of people... We assess what's happening and ask, "Well, what do I need to do here?" We've grown up doing that, but we do this normally without thinking. Part of what I think is important clinically is bringing that to people's awareness, that we do that and that that's how they get through an event. They have to think about it, kind of embrace it even for a short time and ask those questions. The question about what am I able to do comes next. And we sense that what I need to do here is I'm ruminating, I need to stop myself from ruminating, or I'm thinking about this all the time, or I'm afraid to go back to this place. I'm even afraid to go out. Or I can't sleep, what do I need to do?

I need to find a way to sleep tonight or sleep for the next few days. I need to consult people. I need to ask people, I need to figure out what do I have... But then we get to the question of what am I able to do? And that comes to our repertoire. What do we have at our disposal? What do we already know how to do? And I'm a big fan of having people think about this when they're not in a terrible bad shape. Because once we're really upset about something and we amidst of a crisis, it's really hard to think clearly. It's really hard to even think, what am I able to do? I'm not able to do anything right now. And that's a real fact of life.

When people are really upset, we don't think very clearly. So it's a good idea to think about these things in advance. And so we ask ourselves, what do I need to do here? What can I do? What are the tools I have? And then we try something. And we get to the last step, which is, did this work? Do I feel better? Did the situation change? If not, then we try something else. And I find this last step is where a lot of people stumble also. They stumble and they can stumble at any one of these steps, but the last step is when we ask ourselves, is this working? Because people often find out, "Well, no, I still feel terrible. It didn't work."

And they give up because their assumption is, "Well, I'm not good at this. I can't cope. I'm not a resilient person." But nobody can do everything every time exactly the right way. It's how we learn, it's how we become healthy people. Even the healthiest people don't always have an answer. They try things. It doesn't work, you try something else, especially if it's a major event, especially if you're in bad shape, you try something else. And that's just really how we do get through things. So I think that's also another important thing, clinical teaching moment for people to realize that.

Tori Steffen:  Right.

George Bonanno:  It's how it works.

Tori Steffen:  Yeah, absolutely. I remember a case in your book about a girl named Maren who suffered a spinal cord injury from a horse incident.

George Bonanno:  Yes, yes.

Tori Steffen:  And I remember the key part of her recovery was her own optimism and motivation.

George Bonanno:  Yes.

Tori Steffen:  Do you think that those two things, motivation and optimism led her towards recovering so well?

George Bonanno:  Sure. I think Maren's optimism, if I can speak colloquially, was off the charts. It was really extreme. And they told her she was paralyzed for the rest of her life and not only did she say I'm going to walk again, she believed she would walk again. But optimism, few other pieces like that, maybe confidence, our ability to cope, a sense of I'll get through things, I'll get through this, I'll work it out. And even if the goal is just to accept what's happened, I will work this out somehow. I'll find a way to live with this and be happy again.

And that motivation is really important for all the things that I've just said up until now. Because it's not easy when you're hurting, last thing you want to do is think about it and embrace it. What we really want to do is just push it away, cover our face in a pillow, feel lousy and just hate the world. Those are much easier, but we have to actually face what's happened and think about it enough to work out what do I need to do then and what's going to get me through this? And you need to be motivated to do that. So Maren was super motivated, but a lot of people are. I think none of these are that extreme. Maren is a great person, but she's not a superhero. She just had the will to do this.

Tori Steffen:  Right. Yeah, I think that's a large part of it, your own personal mindset and believing that you can recover. But I mean, in a situation like that, it's just really interesting that that would have such a significant impact on her healing journey. So that's a great case to study. Well, Dr. Bonanno, I really appreciate your time. Are there any final words of advice that you'd like to share with the listeners today?

George Bonanno:  Yeah, I would. Another thing that I mentioned in the book is what I call coping arguments, that we sometimes need to do something that doesn't quite seem like it's healthy. It's something we maybe never thought about doing. It's something that we're told is not a healthy thing to do. But in this moment, it may be, and I'm not going to mention too many examples, but I think things like, sometimes people, I hope the listeners don't mind me saying this, sometimes people get drunk and just for the evening. And we wouldn't think of it as a healthy coping behavior. But for one night, and it doesn't... The next day you feel lousy. It's not gone. But people feel like, okay, but I decided to do that and I'm in control. Now what do I need to do here? And they get through the morning to make themselves feel a little bit better.

Then they still have the question. I did something last night, it didn't work, but I did something. What do I need to do now? And it does seem to sometimes give people just a little break. So the other thing, I won't name any other examples, but I'm sure people can think of them, they just get us through that moment and then we take the next step. So John Lennon has a song called Whatever Gets You Thru The Night. And I think I mentioned that in the book, but it's like the song because it's really kind of what it's about. When we're coping with really difficult things, we just want to get through it. It doesn't need to be pretty, it doesn't need to make us super healthy people. We just need to get through it. So I think that's an important thing also to keep in mind.

Tori Steffen:  Awesome. Yeah, that's great advice. And yeah, there's plenty of great information in the book too. I definitely recommend everybody checks out The End of Trauma by Dr. Bonanno. So yeah, thank you so much for sharing your knowledge with us today. And thank you everybody for tuning in and we'll see everybody next time. Thank you.

George Bonanno:  Okay, thank you. Thank you, Tori, nice to meet you.

Tori Steffen:  Thank you, you as well.

Please note: The views expressed by the interviewee are for educational and informational purposes only, are not meant to diagnose or treat any condition, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Seattle Anxiety Specialists, PLLC.


Editor: Jennifer (Ghahari) Smith, Ph.D.

Psychotherapy Intern Debora de Souza on Grief Support

An Interview with Psychotherapy Intern Debora de Souza

Debora de Souza is a clinical intern at Seattle Anxiety Specialists for 2022-2023, providing care to those in need within our low-cost therapy program. She is finalizing her Master's degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at Seattle University and specializes in helping clients work through grief, loss and trauma.

Tori Steffen:  Hi everybody. Thank you for joining us today for this installment of the Seattle Psychiatrist Interview series. I'm Tori Steffen, a research intern at Seattle Anxiety Specialists. We're a Seattle-based psychiatry, psychology and psychotherapy practice specializing in anxiety disorders.

I like to welcome with us today, Clinical Mental Health Counselor, Deb de Souza. Deb is a clinical psychotherapy intern at Seattle Anxiety Specialists and she is currently earning her master's degree in clinical mental health counseling at Seattle University. She works with parents experiencing perinatal mood and anxiety disorder, known as PMAD. And she also worked as a grief hike guide, helping those grieving the death of a loved one to process their loss. So before we get started today, Deb, could you let us know a little bit more about yourself and what made you interested in studying mental health counseling and grief?

Debora de Souza:  Hi Tori. Thank you so much for having me.

Sure, absolutely. This is a second career for me. I have been in the business world for quite some time locally here in Seattle in corporate settings. I always had an interest in the psychology when I first started college, that was definitely one of the careers I was... one of the schools that I was hoping to go into. Just life happens, it didn't happen. I ended up being program management and business operations for most part of my adult life. But when the opportunity came with COVID and things happened, I got laid off and I decided that it was the right time to go into counseling given that was something that I really wanted to do. And I had a lot of interest and passions, like you said, in the area of grief and PMAD and anxiety disorders, as well.

So I said, no time like the present. I had already applied to Seattle University and got accepted prior to COVID and I decided let's just make this a new career path for me. And it's been really enjoyable. I really am glad that I took the leap. It's a little bit threatening, but it was fun.

Tori Steffen:  Yeah, that's amazing. It sounds like it just worked out time wise and you got to love that smooth transition.

Debora de Souza:  Yeah, it was great. Meant to be.

Tori Steffen:  Yeah, exactly. Well, can you describe for us how your time at SAS as a clinical intern has been so far for you?

Debora de Souza:  I started in September and I have to say it's been really, really good for me. I feel very supported at SAS, that's one thing I really wanted. I applied to several sites and I actually had already accepted another site. And when I got an email from SAS to interview. And it just clicked, it really clicked with the folks that I talked to on my interview, the approach that they had to internship and also I like the low-fee model that was offered, that interns participate, where we provide service to folks that may be in that gap where they can't qualify for insurance, and they don't have private insurance or state insurance, and we can provide a service to that population. That otherwise may not even have access to care. So it's been really, really nice. It's a small group of interns, a lot of support from great supervisors and also from the staff. So I feel ... again, I think as a new person, as an intern, new person on the field learning how to become a counselor, the support is critical.

Tori Steffen:  Absolutely. I would definitely agree with that. It's a lot of stuff to learn and I feel like you really learn it from experience. So having supervisors help you through a little bit is crucial.

Debora de Souza:  It's vulnerable work.

Tori Steffen:  Absolutely. What would you say has been the most challenging about being a clinical intern?

Debora de Souza:  Well, I think the truth that come to mind right away is that I kind of expected, but experiencing it is a little bit different, is how vulnerable it is for me as a person sometimes, and how I can get flooded and overwhelmed, emotions when people share things that might be triggering for me and trying to differentiate what is mine, what is the client? So that's been a learning. And I knew from a scholastic standpoint, but it's different when you feel it, when you're in the room with someone. So that has been something.

Also how imposter syndrome is real. Sometimes you sit with somebody explaining their circumstances and you're like, "I deal with that too and I'm still finding my way. How can I support you?" So that is real. I think just learning how to be a counselor or a therapist and sit with someone. One thing that I did not expect, I've always worked long hours and being tired. And I remember telling Case (Lovell), who is my supervisor, in the first week how completely exhausted I was after a full day. I think it was my first day with four or five people.

Tori Steffen:  Wow.

Debora de Souza:  And I was very emotionally and physically tired. I just wanted to come home and go to bed. That was surprising for me because it takes a lot of effort to really focus and listen. It's a different way of engaging with people that I wasn't used to. Because that's not how we do it in our lives.

Tori Steffen:  Right. Yeah, that's something I wouldn't have expected either. But knowing that, it does make sense that it'd probably be drained, especially emotionally and need a good day of rest after your first week probably.

Debora de Souza:  It's a learned skill I hope, it gets better over time as you-

Tori Steffen:  Yeah. Yeah. I think it's one of those things that the more you practice, the more that you learn how to do it better. And-

Debora de Souza:  Absolutely.

Tori Steffen:  Deal with the feelings that come with it. Well, what would you say has been the most rewarding about being a clinical intern? Any specific moments come to mind for you?

Debora de Souza:  Yeah, I keep going back to the... I guess, I'm surprised and touched a lot how vulnerable people get with you. And it sounds like cliche, but really genuinely honored that sometimes without not knowing much, two or three sessions maybe, people really share deep things that they may not have other spaces in their life outside of session to talk about. And I'm very honored by that. And I think that is one thing that I keep it in mind a lot, is that I get to do this job. I get to sit with folks and support them and how intimate it can be, the relationship in one way. When you are really vulnerable, and also how much trust they have on us to be themselves and not being judged.

And as for an example, one that I have a client that we have sessions where the camera's off. My camera's on, but the client's camera is off. I got used to it, that's how this client prefers to engage. And I remember the first time he turned the camera on and in the middle of a conversation and it was to show his dog, he was talking about his dog. And he kind of came into frame very briefly, but he turned the camera to himself and said “hi.” It was the first time I actually saw his face and I was almost a little bit emotional. It was so meaningful to me that he... because he trust me enough to be a little bit more vulnerable and just say hello. So we've been seeing each other for some time and he still keeps the camera off most of the time. But every once in a while he'll turn it on and say hi or bye.

Tori Steffen:  Ah, that's amazing. Yeah, that's, I'd say, such a wonderful moment to have with the client and kind of just know that you've built that trust with them. So that's amazing.

Debora de Souza:  It felt really good.

Tori Steffen:  And it must have been amazing to see his dog, too.

Debora de Souza:  Yes. He has a very close connection with his pet. We always talk about the dog. He always comes to the session with us.

Tori Steffen:  Really? Ah. That's amazing. Well, kind of moving over to the outdoor grief groups that you work with. Can you explain how those work for the audience and maybe what activities you guys usually do?

Debora de Souza:  Yes, I do, I do. I love ... it's a volunteer position with the local... not company, but with the local group called Wild Griefs in Olympia, Washington, it's a small group, they're expanding now. We are volunteer hike guides. And basically it's to partner the power of nature to process grief. It started off as initiative to support teens that were grieving. A lot of times the loss of a parent or a caretaker or maybe a sibling, and provide them opportunity in nature to bond with each other, to share their experiences. And that was how it first started.

Wild Grief has several programs, all nature related, all outdoors throughout the entire year. So it's not a summer/spring only. We go out in December, the day before Christmas sometimes.

Tori Steffen:  Wow.

Debora de Souza:  And they offer programs that are day programs, like hikes. Some are more nature walks, some are more hikes, like five hours or so. Also overnight programs, which is a four day backpack with teenagers and a group of us take teenagers out backpacking in mountains around Washington. And each day is framed, there is some process. Each day is framed to go... they use the four tasks of grief as a baseline, basically accepting grief, feeling your feels, adjusting to a life without the person that you lost, and then making a new relationship with that person. So we try to frame all... even if it's a short hike or if it's a four day camp, we try to do that.

We also have a camping program that I usually participate on, that I really like. It's with the family. So it's a family camp, everything's provided, literally from shoes to food to pants. The family just comes. So a parent or a caretaker and children that experience a loss within that family unit. And we spent three days together camping somewhere around Washington. And it's beautiful to see not only the parents relating and connecting, but how the kids really find support on finding another child that has lost their dad, for instance. And be able to just talk about it, which they don't have a lot of space, maybe, in their life outside, in school and other friends.

So both the family camp and the hikes are the longer programs. The other programs are day hikes. And they say something else like nature does the heavy lifting and we just really provide the safe space to share, it's optional. And it has been really beautiful to see. We don't know who's coming, they sign up and we meet up in the trailhead. And usually there's two, maybe three guides, depending on the number of people. And we start hikes and then we stop in some places we usually kind of case out hikes and spaces before. Because we have two or three stops where we do little small processing groups.

And we talk about our person and we share memories of that person, the impact of that person in their life. And we compare with nature sometimes the changes of seasons. How does that reflect on the changes that grief does throughout time. And the rebirth when we see a log and there's a whole bunch of new growth in that dead tree. And the same thing with our grief, after the loss, we adjust and we move forward, and we bring that person with us in a different capacity. And just being with other people. So you can talk about your feelings with no judgment.

Tori Steffen:  Right. Yeah, it sounds like kind of the perfect safe space to provide people who are grieving. And you're right, you just have to get away from everyday life sometimes. Because work and school and all these responsibilities get in the way of processing the heavy emotions. So that's amazing. Yeah, it sounds good.

Debora de Souza:  Being outdoors really helped.

Tori Steffen:  Great program.

Debora de Souza:  Yeah, it's very nice because being outdoors, I even feel myself just with the trees and the sounds of nature. You are walking, you're also moving. We do have strategic stop times, but they're brief. I think it's a great idea, I'm glad that the board, the founders, the couple people that found that decided to expand and move forward and be more inclusive.

Tori Steffen:  Yeah, it sounds like they're doing a great job with being inclusive for all types of experiences, so that's amazing.

Debora de Souza:  Absolutely.

Tori Steffen:  What are the main benefits that you see the participants gaining from their experience in the hiking program?

Debora de Souza:  I think it's community. We talk a lot about acceptance, just have a space. Grief can still be a taboo topic in a lot of places at work or people, maybe people rush you like, "Oh, it's been already six months or a year." You hear a lot of those terms so people feel like, oh, I should ... it's not okay for me to talk about it or to bring it up. So people push it down their emotions, so that's a space that they can do. And it's amazing that we were all strangers in the beginning of the hike, it's oftentimes by the end, people exchange numbers or want to keep in touch. Or people come to several, we have hikes once a month, at least. So we'll see people coming again and again and them bringing children or bringing a friend. So definitely community and acceptance. And being outdoors. Yeah, being outdoors is always good.

Tori Steffen:  Right. Yeah, it sounds like just the perfect mixture of things to help you along that healing journey. Yeah. And that's amazing.

Well, if we could discuss the topic of grieving parents, specifically. There's a specific topic around it. So how it's become more acceptable for men to grieve where it was previously not really as accepted. Would you mind going into that a little bit?

Debora de Souza:  Yeah, absolutely. I think it's even harder for men. I think sometimes men get forgotten. And especially around parenting, I think we're talking about specifically about... there's another volunteer position that I have with the Perinatal Support Washington. I'm a warm line for answering the phone on certain shifts during the day. And most of the callers are women who are experiencing PMAD, Perinatal Mental Anxiety Disorders. So postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, some miscarriages, sometimes stillbirth or birth trauma is very common. So we do a lot of talking to them, just trying to assess their situation, how we can provide support.

Sometimes every once in a while we get a dad or a grandfather calling to support someone that they love in their lives, who they're concerned about. So there's a lot of psycho-education, a little bit, like “Where do I go with this? How can I help my daughter or my wife?” And eventually, as you get to work with them, we have extended peer support. So if the person... until they get connected with some sort of therapist or service, they have the option to keep working with us and we can call them once a week. We can set up a cadence and we have brief calls with them. And I found that with fathers or with males, eventually it comes to their grief and their experience with, in the case of a miscarriage or stillbirth. And being able to express that because they think it's all around the woman, the mother, the expecting person.

Which makes sense and they feel a little bit lost or they say, "Oh, my wife just had a baby. And all the attention goes to her and I'm not feeling safe to say that because that's not cool. What kind of dad are you? What about me?" Or, "I'm grieving my wife because it used to be just me and her, and now there's this baby who's a newborn is very demanding." So we end up supporting and doing a lot of psycho-ed and just help and listening to both parents, to both caretakers. And grandparents do it the same and call and say, "I don't know how to help more or how to be present to my daughter, to my family member."

As far as personal experience with a male, a coworker, I did suffer a pregnancy loss and I was far along enough that people in my work knew. So I was away for recovery. And when I come back to the office a few weeks later, one of my coworkers, another gentleman that was in my team and asked me out to lunch, he wanted us to talk. And I think in the beginning, just to support me, “Welcome back, how can we be there for you?” But more in a private setting. And he got really emotional during that meeting with me and start crying and openly grieving a son that he lost, I believe it was like 30 years earlier. Because we talked about how weird was talking about pregnancy. But because I was so evidently pregnant, there was no way around it. And he just shared his own story that back when his wife lost their first child, he had nobody... men do not participate. They never talked about it. It was like they did the medical procedures, she came home. That wasn't even their first child, the second child was.

So it was just culturally different. I'm sure at the time, things were difficult. We have come a long way of normalizing not only perinatal mental health, but miscarriages and birth losses and challenges with IVF, challenges with fail adoption, the journey to become a parent can be riddled with challenges. And fathers feel it, too. And that gentleman really touched my heart, I will never forget because it end up kind of me making space for him and listening about his boy and how much that hurt him. That pregnancy wasn't viable and he didn't get to hold him. So it was a very powerful, and beautiful moment. And I'm very thankful that he felt safe to share with me.

Tori Steffen:  Yeah. And it really brings to light that men experience the same grief. And it is more evidently the mother is physically going through it and that's definitely significant. But the father is in there just as much. It's their child, as well.

Debora de Souza:  Absolutely. A lot of anxiety for dads when the first baby comes.

Tori Steffen:  Oh yeah, I bet.

Debora de Souza:  They're adjusting too. So it's nice to have a service like Perinatal Support Washington. So we have fathers volunteers, as well. So if you want to, you don't have to talk to a mom, you can also talk to a dad who has been through postpartum depression with their wives and whatnot. And it's really nice. It's a really great service.

Tori Steffen:  It sounds like just such a great resource for new parents, anybody who's gone through it.

Debora de Souza:  Oh, the landscape has changed. Even from my time of my losses, I really struggled to find someone, a therapist that was familiar with perinatal mental health, how that could support me. And I'm glad there's a lot more resources, I think, right now, nowadays.

Tori Steffen:  Yeah, that's amazing. It's not something that I have seen be super common out there. But it's absolutely needed, I would think. So, that's amazing. So what are some good resources that you know of that grieving parents can look into maybe after losing a child or losing a loved one? Are there any good go-to resources that you know of?

Debora de Souza:  There's several, like I said, the landscape did change. I will share the Wild Grief link and page, as well as the Perinatal Support Washington for Washington only. But there's also Perinatal Support International. A lot of resources, a lot of support groups are ran by those organizations and they're usually free of cost. And now since COVID, especially, they're online. They also list other ones, sometimes with churches or with community centers that people can find locally and connect. And they're a lot of support groups, which is wonderful. Because the safe spaces and the peer-to-peer support can be vital.

One that I like a lot myself and they offer trainings and they're very laid out website, it's called the Return to Zero. And they made a movie, they have a book. It's a couple talking about the experience when they lost their son, their first child. And from there, it kind of sprout into this beautiful website, where you can go in there as a parent grieving. And they really go the gamut, like I said, in fertility, IVF, anything in the Journey to Parenthood. Beautiful site, a lovely work, very well done and well set up. So you can get from referral to therapists, training classes. They have a lot of training classes for volunteers and people that work with parents and people in experiencing PMADs.

And it's just something that I wish I had access to back in the day because you just feel it can be very lonely. You go through very... and nobody wants to talk to you because people think that it's a baby and it's going to make you sad. Or they don't know what to say. I get it. It get all that. And when all you want to do is talk about it. And that's the funny part, all you want to do is ... especially when a baby. A baby is a baby and has a whole life already, the minute that you realize you're expecting.

Tori Steffen:  Yeah.

Debora de Souza:  It's amazing how you're already think the weddings, it's sounds silly. But a whole life become concrete. So that's another thing, as well. We used to have a miscarriage early on, sometimes people say, oh, at least try to do those kind of modifiers. “Well at least it was early enough. Or at least you can get pregnant again.” And for a parent, I think that life has already happened from conception on. So those are great support that folks can go to and get all kinds. And very cultural responsive too, and inclusive because different cultures... and I think I can speak from my culture, as well. It's very unique sometimes how you deal with the topic, how you deal with grief itself. So they do a very good job of having a multicultural approach and training and language that is inclusive to all parents. So Return to Zero, I will share the link, as well. They're excellent.

Tori Steffen:  Perfect. Yeah, we'll make sure to link those in the notes later, but that's so helpful. Thank you for sharing the resources. I'm sure it'll be really helpful to hopefully some of our audience.

Debora de Souza:  I hope so. Yeah.

Tori Steffen:  Awesome. Well, are there any final words of advice or anything else you'd like to share with the listeners today?

Debora de Souza:  No, it's been really a pleasure. I think I said my thing is about normalizing grief, normalizing sharing feelings. And even if we don't know what to say, sometimes not saying anything, just being there. Just letting the person know that you are there to say... and it sounds cliche again, but it's so important so you don't feel so lonely. You feel like it's okay, people understand. Because that's one common experience that we’re all going to have. At some point, we're going to lose someone.

But also other griefs, as well. It doesn't have to be a death of a person, ending of relationships. I mean, through COVID there were so many changes. And I always like to think about positive changes. Some people say positive changes, happy changes bring grief. And I'm like, oh, it's true. In order for something new to happen, something had to die or change. And I didn't think of that. I said, well, think about a wedding, there's a different life that you're entering now. But things are changing... sometimes and a lot of times bring grief with it. And I think it's uncomfortable, we don't like to talk about it.

Tori Steffen:  Right and it's like-

Debora de Souza:  We all feel it.

Tori Steffen:  Exactly. And those big positive changes are great. You're having-

Debora de Souza:  New jobs, moving to another country. I mean, there's so much that you can think, "Oh, this is so fun and exciting." But there's always some... the other side, that you're leaving something, there's a cycle ending in some way. And just honoring that and taking time to feel the feels just like the best... it's beautiful. Doesn't apply only to death, physical death.

Tori Steffen:  Right. Yeah, just taking the time to process the change, I think will help you, lead you into the future and make it easier on you emotionally.

Debora de Souza:  And be a kinder human being. Understand when other people go through their change, it promotes kindness. It's definitely a positive in my book.

Tori Steffen:  Yeah, absolutely. Well, thank you so much for sharing your knowledge with us today, Deb. It was great talking to you.

Debora de Souza:  Thank you so much. It's my pleasure.

Tori Steffen:  All right. And thank you everybody for tuning in and we'll see you next time.

Please note: The views expressed by the interviewee are for educational and informational purposes only, are not meant to diagnose or treat any condition, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Seattle Anxiety Specialists, PLLC.


Editor: Jennifer (Ghahari) Smith, Ph.D.

Psychologist Sven Hroar Klempe on Music & Cognition

An Interview with Psychologist Sven Hroar Klempe

Sven Hroar Klempe, Ph.D. is a Professor of Psychology at Norwegian University of Science and Technology, in Trondheim, Norway. He's an expert in the field of psychology and musicology.

Tori Steffen:  Hi, everybody. Thank you for joining us today for this installment of the Seattle Psychiatrist Interview series. I'm Tori Steffen, a research intern at Seattle Anxiety Specialists. We are a Seattle-based psychiatry, psychology, and psychotherapy practice specializing in anxiety disorders.

I'd like to welcome with us today psychologist Sven Hroar Klempe. Dr. Klempe is a Professor of Psychology at Norwegian University of Science and Technology, NTNU, in Trondheim, Norway. He's an expert in the field of psychology and musicology, and has written several publications on the topic, which includes the book Tracing the Emergence of Psychology, 1520-1750, as well as the book Sound and Reason, which focuses on the conceptualization of sound in a specific context or field.

So, before we get started, could you let us know a little bit more about yourself, Dr. Klempe, and what made you interested in studying both psychology and musicology?

Sven Hroar Klempe:  Yeah, that's a good question. The background is, I'm a very interdisciplinary person. When I was young, I was very into mathematics and physics, but also in music during my whole growing up. I think that the main question that I posed myself was, “How come that rational people are doing music? Why do we do music? Why do we sing, when we can talk?” That's the core question.

And therefore, I have since 1970s tried to figure out, to what extent do music communicate? And with this background, I went to Paris in the late '70s, just to investigate semiology and the French philosophy of structuralism, which very much focused on a kind of abstraction of language, by means of defining language in terms of science instead.

Tori Steffen:  Great. Yeah, that seems like it would be really interesting to study the French perspective on music.

Sven Hroar Klempe:  Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And of course, you have an American tradition as well when it comes to Charles Sanders Peirce and his pragmatics, which is also concentrated on semiotics, where he understand logic in terms of semiotics. So, there are two different traditions, in a way, but they merged very much, I would say, in the '80s, '90s.

Tori Steffen:  Very interesting. Well, getting down to basics, could you explain for us how music is related to psychology?

Sven Hroar Klempe:  Yeah. This is a very intriguing question, especially because we have almost forgotten how interwoven they actually were in the late 19th century. But the best example would be Gestalt psychology.

When Gestalt psychology was established, especially Gestalt qualities from Christian von Ehrenfels, who published in 1890 his answer to that core question in the late 19th century Germany, especially, what is a melody?

And so, they had a lot of discussions about this. They focused very much on the musical aspects, and the answer that Christian von Ehrenfels came up with is very important. He says that if you transpose a melody from one key to another, as from C Major to D Major, then you replace every single pitch with a new one. That means that it cannot be the elements, the tones, that make the melody, because the sounds are the same melody, although you have replaced all the elements. So, what is the answer?

The answer is, quite simply, it is the relation between each tone that form the melody. And in musicology, we have names for this. We call this intervals. But on the other hand, an interval, what is it? It's a kind of empty space between the two tones. So, we fill the space with a relation, also the relation with one with the other. And this is the Gestalt thing. Not only the whole melody, but especially the relationship between each element.

And this is hard to grasp, because we are thinking about the elements all the time, and we think that everything is built up by elements, and we get a whole out of it. But, as a matter of fact, and this is also an important part of the perception and understanding that we are focusing on how they are placed in relation to each other. And this is the important thing, and that is also why the relationship is the most crucial aspect of the experience of things.

Tori Steffen:  Right. Yeah, it's definitely learning about the intervals with music. Music is almost its own language.

Sven Hroar Klempe:  Definitely. Its own language. Another system, and quite different from language as well. But then, there is more when it comes to the relationship between music and psychology. So, if you take the whole German experimental psychology and look at that, they are focusing on music as main stimuli in their experiments.

Wundt for instance, Wilhelm Wundt, the one that is primarily related to experimental psychology, he had two laboratories, one acoustical and one visual. But in his papers, he primarily refers to the acoustical. And in this acoustical laboratory, he had about 300, 400 tune forks, like you tune the instruments with. And the reason is exactly that he wanted to investigate exactly the relationship between the different tones.

But this tradition goes further back. It was Fechner that started up and introduced the term music as the direct factor. With this, he means that also what experimental psychology wanted to focus on was exactly the relationship between what is out there, what do we perceive, and our ideas about what we perceive. Because those two things are quite different, very often.

And for instance, if I take this pencil, and I do it like this, I don't know if you see that it's both, but it's hard. So, the experience of the pencil was that it is soft, but it is, from a physical perspective, it is hard.

So, there is a difference between how the nature is out there, the physics, also the physical nature, is out there, and how we perceive it. So, in experimental psychology, the aim was justify the relationship between this.

And when it comes to this pencil, I have a term for it. And also, if I look at pictures and other things, I have terms for this. But what I want to focus on was, how they experience things without putting things into terms. And that is why music is the direct factor, the most important and most interesting, esteemly, because you cannot put music into words.

Tori Steffen:  Right. Yeah. And what you said definitely seems to be related to one's cognition. Have you found any connections in your studies between music and cognition?

Sven Hroar Klempe:  Yes, absolutely. And we are back to this problem that psychology is maybe focusing too much on language. And especially after the Second World War. Almost all cognitive investigations have focused on language as the bottom line, so to speak, of rationality.

But by focusing on music, we will go beyond language. And what we find immediately, when it comes to music, is that polyphony is a very basic aspect of music. Polyphony means that different tones are sounding at the same time. And this is a quite crucial thing, because in language, there is a kind of mutual exclusion between the words. If I choose one word, I cannot at the same time articulate another word. But if I take the guitar, for instance, I can very easily play two tones at the same time. And the music is based on this. The chords presuppose, so to speak, that I articulate different tones at the same time.

So, we have the capacity of putting things together at the same time. And there are some psychologists that have focused on this. And one is especially Vygotsky, the Russian, Lev Vygotsky. In his thesis on speech and thinking, he demonstrates, very convincingly, how separated thinking and language actually are. In the sense that, well, that the egocentric speech of the child is a kind of preparation for thinking.

It is the same kind of speech that goes into the thinking process. But the thinking process goes in further, in the sense that it focuses on thinking without words, so to speak. So, in our heads, when I'm talking now, I'm trying to take one word at a time and have one point at a time, the one after the other. Whereas in music, we have the capacity of putting things much more together.

Tori Steffen:  Yeah. It sounds almost like a subjective point of view. And I was reading your book, Sound and Reason, and you noted that music can have sort of a subjective impact on the listener. Could you explain a little bit about that for our audience?

Sven Hroar Klempe:  Yeah, sure. Yeah. And what you are focusing on now is the privacy of music and aesthetic experiences in general.

And it's the same when it comes to music as it is with sexuality, for instance. It is very intimate, private, but also directed towards something different from yourself, also pointing towards the other. And especially when it comes to sound, it goes so deep. So, when you have heard some certain melodies in crucial parts of your life, for instance, when you are a small child, or in the teens, when you are a teenager, you remember these melodies very intensely.

And I remember when David Bowie died six years ago, I think it was, about, and the newspapers in Norway were full of people that wrote about how they mourned so much. But I'm a bit older, so for me, David Bowie was not a big issue for me. So, in my perspective, it was a bit funny to see how a whole generation of journalists and also mourned about this, about David Bowie who passed away.

So, this is for all of us. I have other things in my background that comes up with very intense feelings, back to the early teenager, and also when I was a small child.

And some sound goes so deeply into our memories that this is the core aspect, so to speak, when it comes to memories. But it's not only sound. Also, smell and taste and colors, all the statical impressions that we get, they go so deep into us that we have to deal with this later on during life.

Tori Steffen:  Yeah, it makes sense, definitely, that it would have a lasting impact on your memory/cognition, especially from a young age, listening to music.

Sven Hroar Klempe:  And this is also an important aspect of... When you look at psychoanalysis, for instance, as Freud started up focusing very much on concepts, the bird representation should reflect a kind of content that was related to your experiences in childhood.

But this is something that Jacques Lacan, for instance, brings a step further, as he makes a very clear distinction between the sound of the word and the content of the word. And this is part of this French structuralistic way of thinking based on Ferdinand De Saussure's, thesis of the arbitrary sign, in the sense that content is completely separated from the sound, so to speak. So, when it comes to how to deal with a neurosis, or also Lacan is more focusing on psychosis, and things like that, the sound of the terms are more important than the content.

Tori Steffen:  Yeah. So, we've covered how it could impact one's cognition. Do you think that there's a connection there with music and mental health, and if it might have a role, music in therapy?

Sven Hroar Klempe:  Yeah. Absolutely. And I think this is a very important thing to pursue, in a sense, especially from this perspective. When focusing on the sum of the word is not just related to mental disorders, but also a part of our everyday use of language. Whenever we talk, we do not complete the sentences always. And the reason is, quite simply, that we want to express different things at the same time.

And, of course, sometimes this makes meaning. Especially when you read poetry, for instance. Also, poetry is characterized especially by exactly this echovocality, that you have the ambiguous aspect of the terms. So, the good poetry, they tell, very often, at least two stories, even three different stories at the same time, by the use of the terms. So, this is a part of our normal life, so to speak, and we enjoy it as well, like we enjoy music and the polyphony in music.

When it comes to different types of disorders, especially the psychosis, it is very much the same, specifically that they are expressing different things at the same time, but they are not able to see exactly the distinction between the different things. So, in that sense, I think it's very important to see how gradually the line between a disorder and an order actually is.

So, in that sense, I think it's very important to, and we have very good experiences, when it comes to how to use music, when it comes for aphasic person, for instance, in the upper CI, if they have a letter on the left hemisphere, for instance, where lose the language, then it's very easy to get in touch by music.

And of course, as the newer scientists say, that the brain is very flexible. You can build up something, but you had to start with something. And then it can build up also the functions in the left hemisphere by activating the right hemisphere by means of music.

So, in that sense, music, not only when it comes to aphasics and psychotics, but everywhere, we use music to get in touch with each other, and that's the point.

Tori Steffen:  Yeah, definitely. What you were saying about poetry and music, it's a way to bring different perspectives on topics, and that's very interesting that it might differ between cultures. Do you think music can impact cognition? How might it impact cognition on an intercultural level, would you say?

Sven Hroar Klempe:  Yeah, that's an intriguing question. And I think there are two answers that I can come up with. One is that it is very important. First time I was in China, I had a meeting with the Chinese, and we ended up singing folk tunes to each other, my Norwegian and their Chinese folk tunes.

But that was a situation where they knew Chinese folk tunes that followed more or less the same type of tonal systems as I'm familiar with from Norway. But when it comes to music around the world, we'll find very many different systems as well. And one example is for the Lappish people in Norway. So, the traditional music they are singing, when we go 100 years back... How it is today I don't know exactly, but transcriptions 100 years ago, they demonstrated very well how difficult it was to make phrases in this music.

And that is the difference between the western music, which is very exact when it comes to phrasing, that you have a phrase that stops, and it continues with a new one, and so forth. But in the Lappish music, all these phrases, they are going into each other, so to speak. So, they overlap. And that is a kind of implicit polyphony, that you have different phrases that are articulated at the same time.

Like we do in language, in abbreviations, for instance, when we shorten everything, but also blendings: edutainment. Education-entertainment. Edutainment, for instance. And that is exactly what also happens in music. And in music, it's much more natural to do this, that you have these overlaps. It's a part of the system, so to speak, especially because music is polyphonic.

And among the Inuits, for instance, they have a tendency to sing in one beat, let's say 60 beats per minute, or 100 beats per minute, and then they can drum in 91 beats per minute. Also a kind of polyphony that is impossible for me to perform.

So, we have a lot of old cultures that have very intricate musical systems. And this is also an important aspect of the African music, as well, which is very polyphonic.

Tori Steffen:  Right. Yeah. That reminds me of the idea of Structure of Sound. Your book actually pointed out an interesting perspective on that, so I'm going to quote you really quick. "An identifiable structure is a prerequisite for us to be able to experience sound as meaningful." So, how might that idea relate to our topic of cognition or psychology?

Sven Hroar Klempe:  This is at a core, in the sense that we have different systems, and that's the point. And we can operate with different systems as well, when it comes to both the way we use language, the way we use music, and whatever. But we have to be familiar with the systems.

So, I had a very interesting situation with my granddaughter, she is three years old, and her elder brother plays chess, and she wanted to play chess. But she wanted to define the system. She didn't know the rules, of course. So, she just put the pieces in a certain order that she found meaningful.

Tori Steffen:  Interesting.

Sven Hroar Klempe:  And it was very meaningful in that situation. So, we played chess on her premises in this way. I had to adapt.

So, the point is that we have to be very open to very many different types of systems. And this is a challenge for especially the western culture, because they think that our language system, musical system, and whatever, are at the top. The end of the development of human beings, so to speak. But it's not. It's not at all.

And when we look at this complicated ethnomusic, they are even more complex and subtle, I think. So, the point is, yes, as long as we understand the system, then there is a meaning.

Tori Steffen:  Right. Yeah. That's such an interesting story about your granddaughter, and creating her own meaning. That's very interesting.

Well, Dr. Klempe, do you have any final words of advice or anything else that you'd like to share with our listeners today?

Sven Hroar Klempe:  Yeah. Maybe this main message of trying to take a step back, to see how we focus on language as the core of rationality, because it's not there. Because if we say that language is the center of rationality, then we underestimate pre-verbal children and their personality. And I have to tell a story at the end, if I may.

Tori Steffen:  Absolutely. Yeah.

Sven Hroar Klempe:  Yeah. It's a book I heard about where the father let the small child write about their conflict in the family, so to speak. And one interesting thing was that the child blame her father to take the wrong toothpaste every day. The toothpaste. Because the little child... They obviously had different toothpaste for each one, and all the toothpaste, they have different colors, different pattern, and so forth.

The point is that this child was very rational when it comes to how to differentiate between the different toothpaste tubes, whereas the father didn't think too much about this. And this is the distinction between how the child categorize the world in terms of colors, sound, smell, taste, and so forth, before they have a language. And they know exactly where is what, and what belongs to who, and so on. So they categorize. They are very rational without language.

Tori Steffen:  Yeah. It's kind of like creating your own meaning, going back to the story about your granddaughter, and then this story seems to also kind of paint that picture of building your own structures and language, especially with the senses. So, yeah, that's very, very interesting stuff, Dr. Klempe. So, thank you so much for contributing to our interview series. It's been great speaking with you today.

Sven Hroar Klempe:  Thank you for inviting me.

Tori Steffen:  Absolutely. Well, I hope you have a great rest of your day, and thank you again.

Please note: The views expressed by the interviewee are for educational and informational purposes only, are not meant to diagnose or treat any condition, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Seattle Anxiety Specialists, PLLC.


Editor: Jennifer (Ghahari) Smith, Ph.D.

Psychologist Julie Erickson on Aging & Anxiety

An Interview with Psychologist Julie Erickson

Julie Erickson, Ph.D., C.Psych is a Clinical Psychologist at the Forest Hill Centre for CBT in Toronto, Canada and adjunct faculty member for the Department of Applied Psychology and Human Development at the University of Toronto. She specializes in the treatment of anxiety disorders in older adults.

Tori Steffen:  Hi, everyone. Thank you for joining us today for this installment of the Seattle Psychiatrist Interview Series. I'm Tori Steffen, a research intern at the Seattle Anxiety Specialists. We are a Seattle based psychiatry, psychology, and psychotherapy practice specializing in anxiety disorders. I'd like to welcome with us today Clinical Psychologist, Julie Erickson. Dr. Erickson is an adjunct faculty member for the Department of Applied Psychology and Human Development at the University of Toronto.

She practices at the Forest Hill Centre for CBT in Toronto, Canada. She's an expert in the field of anxiety disorders and has written several articles on the topic, including “Anxiety Disorders Late in Life: Considerations for Assessment and Cognitive Behavioral Treatment”. As well as “Associations Between Anxiety Disorders, Suicide Ideation, and Age in Nationally Representative Samples of Both Canadian and American Adults.” Dr. Erickson is also planning to publish a CBT workbook for older adults with New Harbinger in the fall of 2023.

Before we get started today, could you please let us know a bit about yourself and what made you interested in studying anxiety disorders in older adults?

Julie Erickson:  Yeah, absolutely. Thanks for having me. I live and practice in Toronto, and maintain a pretty steady clinical practice and I do some teaching as well. In terms of what got me interested in this area, so it actually started way back in one of my first jobs when I was a teenager. I worked in the recreation department of a nursing home. As part of that job, I was helping facilitate different recreation programs for residents, and noticed that it was the same group of people coming to recreation programs all the time.

It tended to be a group of people that were maybe more optimistic. They tended to be more social. They also tended to be the same group of residents that had more people visiting them. Relative to other residents, who were maybe a little bit more withdrawn or isolated, maybe a little bit more pessimistic or had fewer visitors. Just seeing the contrast made me curious. Why did some people tend to thrive and do quite well, as they got older and were in nursing home care, versus some people really have a more difficult time?

Ultimately, wanted to understand some of the psychological and social factors behind aging well. How to help people live better lives as they grow older and to be more fulfilled. As part of that, how to manage the anxiety and the stressors that can come up for people in late life. Ultimately, this led me to the field of clinical psychology and the intersection between that and gerontology.

Tori Steffen:  Okay, great. Thank you. Would you say that older individuals experience anxiety similarly to younger people?

Julie Erickson:  Yeah. I would say generally speaking, there's probably more similarities than differences. The similarities being maybe focusing on worst case scenarios, feeling agitated or restless, having difficulties relaxing, struggling with indecision or doubt, difficulties concentrating, so a whole host of similarities. Where some of the differences might be though, might be the types of symptoms that end up getting endorsed. Older adults can tend to report more physical symptoms of anxiety or at least report those predominantly.

One of the first things they might report to their family doctor, could be the physical symptoms like upset stomach, or having a racing heart or shortness of breath. As opposed to going to their family doctor and saying, "I'm worried about what people are thinking about me in social situations." That's one difference. The other difference might involve more of the content of the worries that older adults have. That's going to be a little bit different than younger adults. It's less focused on things like academic success, or career building or parenting.

It tends to be a little bit more focused on things like changes in your physical health or mobility, caregiving concerns, or even identity shifts that might be happening because of things like retirement. The surface nature of the worries will be a little different, as well as sometimes the types of symptoms that older adults report.

Tori Steffen:  Okay. Yeah, that definitely makes sense. Would you say there are any limitations that you've found that might prevent the treatment of anxiety disorders in older adults?

Julie Erickson:  Yeah. There's several unfortunately, and several big ones that can get in the way of older adults getting treatment for anxiety disorders. The first one relates to something called mental health literacy. This relates to someone's ability to recognize the symptoms of a mental disorder. Knowing where to get information about mental health concerns, and knowing where and how to get help. Some research suggests that older adults tend to have lower rates of mental health literacy relative to younger adults.

That might be one of the things that prevents them from detecting that part of what I'm experiencing could be a psychological issue. It also might prevent them from knowing there're effective treatments out there and knowing where and how to get help. That's one of the first limitations. The second more has to do with a systems issue, so lack of access to qualified, geriatric mental health professionals. There's an undeniable shortage of us who specialize in treating older adults. That can certainly make it quite difficult to get qualified help.

Thirdly, also probably a societal or systemic issue, stigma. Some older adults may come from a generation or social or cultural background, where going to see a psychologist or a psychiatrist is only when someone is really sick. It still might be shrouded in a lot of their shame. That can be something that really gets in the way. Then finally, I would flag ageism as a potential issue that gets in the way of getting treatment. Sometimes symptoms of mental health conditions in late life can be missed by healthcare professionals.

They might be very well-intended, but maybe more inclined to look at some of the symptoms that older adults might be presenting with, as more attributed to a physical problem as opposed to a mental condition. It's not just maybe healthcare professionals, but also older adults themselves can hold some ageist types of beliefs. They might be inclined to see older adults as less capable of changing. If they hold that belief, which is an ageist stereotype, that can really defer them from seeking treatment as well. A whole host of different things that can get in the way of older people getting help.

Tori Steffen:  Right. Yeah. Those are some great points, as far as limitations go. Your research discusses the ways that CBT can defer among the younger and the older patients with anxiety disorders. Could you explain the differences for our audience?

Julie Erickson:   Absolutely. There's a few that I'll highlight. The first has to do with the pacing of treatment. It's important to know that with CBT, in particular with older adults, things might take a little bit longer for a number of reasons. It's longer to gather maybe a personal history from an older adult client. There's lots of background information to get. Depending on the client's experience with therapy, you may need to devote some extra time to socializing them to therapy. So they have more of a working understanding of what this is, what to expect as you engage in treatment.

There's also an issue of pacing if you're working with someone with cognitive impairment. Or even an individual with normal age-related changes in cognition, you might want to slow down the speed at which you're talking about interventions or introducing new things in session, or even consider having shorter sessions. I'm thinking for people who might have medical conditions that make sitting or sustaining their attention for full hour sessions more difficult. Pacing is one first thing to consider that would make treatment a little bit different with older adults.

The second issue relates to being more attuned to medical issues and how these might be likely to impact your conceptualization of a client and also treatment. Given that a sizable proportion of older adults are experiencing either chronic, physical health issues or more acute issues, there's likely going to be an interplay between some of those symptoms and the anxiety that they're reporting. For example, I had an older adult client diagnosed with tachycardia, and subsequently developed panic attacks every time she had an irregular heartbeat.

Doing a careful assessment and asking about physical health issues is particularly important, so you understand how this might be impacting an older adult in your treatment with them. Another potential difference and an issue to keep in mind, stems from cognitively how an older adult is doing. Cognitive issues require some assessment, even if it's just a brief screener at the outset of treatment. Just to take into consideration how that might impact treatment, and to consider how to best pace and deliver content.

Age-related, cognitive decline is pretty normal and primarily affects things like your short-term memory, your word finding, maybe speed of processing. This may or may not require any alteration in your treatment. But if you're seeing someone who's maybe got a cognitive impairment that's related to dementia, maybe they've got mild to moderate types of dementia. This is going to require some tailoring, in terms of your pacing, but also lots of use of memory aids, right?

Handouts, writing things down, even audio recording sessions, so clients can help retain what you're talking about in session.

Tori Steffen:  Okay.

Julie Erickson:  Then finally, what I'd flag in terms of how things look a little bit different with older adults, has to do with just the types of themes that might come up in treatments. There might be more themes to pay attention to around loss, right? Grief in a bunch of different forms, whether it's of people or of roles in your life.

Or grieving mobility, or functionality or independence. But also themes of isolation, identity changes, or even dealing with regrets. Being attuned to just some of the developmental concerns that can emerge in late life, I think is particularly important with older adults.

Tori Steffen:  Great. Thank you. Thank you for that. Then I know we spoke about it earlier, the somatic symptoms that older adults may experience. Can you explain what types of somatic symptoms that they typically experience and why that might be?

Julie Erickson:  Yeah. A lot of the somatic symptoms older adults experience, would be some of the typical ones we would see in early life as well, around whether it's upset stomach, or just feeling on edge, or restless or even elevated heart rate. Even things like feeling sweaty or short of breath, in cases like panic. Some of those somatic symptoms will look very similarly. As far as to why they might present more with some of those somatic symptoms. Well, we don't know for sure. There's a couple possible explanations.

One of which might be that there could be either biological or psychological, or social factors that influence how anxiety disorders are experienced or present, or seem more prominent in late life. It seems reasonable to expect that the types of symptoms that people might present with can change as one grows older. Due to things like different medical conditions or just age-related changes in things like sleep or emotion and how people experience it. It could just be that there are developmental changes in how anxiety disorders present.

But the other possible explanation relates back to something that I was talking about earlier around lower rates of mental health literacy in older adults. If older adults are less aware of what some of the different symptoms of anxiety disorders are, they may underrecognize some of the symptoms, for example, some of the cognitive symptoms. May be less likely report some of those symptoms, if they don't know that's in keeping with an anxiety disorder. If that's actually the case that this is more of a reflection of let's say a cohort effect, right?

That it's this generation of older adults who lack mental health literacy, we might expect to see that as younger generations of adults now as they get older, that they would be more aware of and more likely to endorse a greater array of anxiety symptoms. So we'll see, and probably research will have more to tell us in the coming decades about some of these age-related differences.

Tori Steffen:  Yeah. That'll be interesting to see the changes as time goes on and people grow older. Are there any other approaches than CBT, that older adults can utilize to combat the symptoms of anxiety disorder, maybe fear of aging?

Julie Erickson:  Yeah, it's a good question. The challenge is that there's probably relatively less therapy outcome research for older adults, compared to other age groups and most of it tends to focus on CBT. But if we look outside of this modality, there's some support for approaches like motivational interviewing or problem-solving therapy to have some success with older adults. One other approach that might be more useful and maybe more unique to late life.

Maybe more helpful too in dealing with issues like fear of growing older, or fear of aging or coming to terms with one's mortality, is the practice of reminiscence and life review, so reminiscing therapy. And while we all might reminisce about the past and recall the good, the bad, and the ugly of our lives, this is particularly important for older people as a developmental task. Older people use the process of reminiscing to help create meaning and integrate life's events.

Maybe even have a heightened awareness of things like the finiteness of life. And to work to create meaningful roles for themselves in their later years, which can be challenging given that society largely pushes older adults to the sidelines. This practice of reminiscence and life review has particular relevance to older adults, who might struggle with fears of growing older or come to terms with what that means for them.

Tori Steffen:  Okay. Yeah, that definitely makes sense. Your article also mentions that the presence of cognitive impairments. We were talking earlier, dementia as an example, can make it more difficult for older adults to engage in CBT as a treatment for anxiety.

Would you mind just explaining this a bit more? Do you think CBT could ever be a suitable treatment option for an older adult with a cognitive impairment?

Julie Erickson:  Yeah. Yeah. Cognitive impairment can vary in late life. There's a certain degree of cognitive change that's normal as people get older, like declines in short-term memory, forgetting names of people or forgetting where you left an object, or walking into a room and not remembering why you walked in there for. That's all pretty normal, versus dementia is not considered a normal part of growing older.

Dementia's an umbrella term for a wide variety of different conditions that can include things like Alzheimer's disease or vascular dementia, or Lewy body dementia. They can come with more severe difficulties with memory, attention, speed of processing, language. It can be much harder for these folks to learn and retain new information, especially as the disease progresses. Now, it's not to say though that older adults with dementia can't benefit from CBT, but it really depends what stage of the disease that they're in.

There is research to suggest that if you're in the more mild to moderate severity range of dementia, that you can still benefit from this type of approach. But you want to ensure that your CBT protocol maybe is streamlined and simplified, in terms of the level of complexity. And to make sure there's ample use of memory aids. Things like handouts, keeping written notes of what's happening each session, and having the client keep their own notes as well, audio recording each session.

Things of that nature, as much as you can do to help the client remember and encode the information you're talking about in session, the better. You might be able consider involving significant others in the client's life to help assist with remembering information. I'm thinking of one client in particular, who after our sessions, she would often talk to her daughter. And would talk to her daughter about part of what she learned in her CBT session that day.

Then part of that was just to help her remember and consolidate what she's learning. But also, to bring her daughter into the loop so her daughter's more aware of what's going on in her treatment. Those are some of the things to keep in mind that might still help an older adults with dementia, let's say, benefit from CBT.

Tori Steffen:  Great. Yeah. It's good to know that it can still be helpful for older adults with those cognitive impairments. The case study outlined in your article, showed that older adults who experience regular panic attacks can improve such occurrences with the help of CBT tactics. Could you speak a little bit about this and what may help with that?

Julie Erickson:  Yeah. Yeah. Let's start with in its simplest form how we conceptualize something like panic disorder. Most simply, panic disorder is a fear of fear. Where individuals who might be experiencing normal or benign physical symptoms of anxiety, become quite fearful of these sensations because they start to assume that they mean more catastrophic things, like having a heart attack or being on the verge of fainting, going crazy or losing control.

When anxiety symptoms are viewed in that way, of course, it's very distressing and can typically result in avoidance of activities or situations, or things where people think that those physical symptoms might be activated. They might start to avoid things like cardiovascular exercise, caffeine, or even things like taking the stairs. With some of those avoidance behaviors, this can really reinforce and even magnify some of the fears that people have around those physical sensations of anxiety.

It can sometimes be the case that for older adults with panic disorder, the onset of those difficulties can go alongside other medical issues, like the tachycardia example I discussed earlier, or even GI conditions. The onset of these medical issues can make people more hypervigilant to changes in physical sensations, to be a bit more anxious or on edge about them. Now, when you're doing CBT for panic with older adults, the overarching goal is to help people learn that the physical sensations that occurred during panic are uncomfortable but not dangerous.

They don't actually need to try to actively control these sensations, that they'll dissipate on their own. Part of how we do this is by cognitive restructuring, so helping older adults to change their minds about what these sensations mean. With some older adults, they've had pretty longstanding beliefs about what these sensations mean, that they're crazy or they're unable to control themselves. Good psychoeducation is going to help people start to shift the perception of these symptoms.

Now, the other thing though that's really going to go a long way, is doing interoceptive exposures, which is basically making active, intentional efforts to try to mimic the sensations of panic. In doing so, is going to allow people to learn that these sensations aren't going to result in some catastrophic outcomes, like going crazy or having a heart attack. We'll often encourage people to do things like breathe through a straw for one minute and plug your nose. Run on the spot as quickly as you can or purposely hyperventilate for 30 seconds.

Doing that repeatedly is going to help people start to learn that these are at most, uncomfortable but not actually dangerous feelings for me. Now, the thing that's maybe more important if you're doing those interoceptive exposures with older adults, is to make sure that you inquire about any medical conditions that might contraindicate some of these exposures or require you to adapt them. For example, there's some cardiopulmonary conditions that you might want to avoid.

Certain forms of interoceptive exposures where you activate either cardiovascular symptoms or respiratory symptoms. Likewise, if you've got individuals with asthma or COPD, or renal disease or seizure disorders, some of those folks are advised not to do certain forms of exposures that involve breathing through a straw or inhaling more CO2. For this, don't work in isolation. Check with your older adult's primary care physician to get clearance to do some of these exercises.

Well, collectively, some of the cognitive work and the exposures in CBT for panic, can really go a long way into helping older adults reduce the frequency of those panic attacks, and ultimately, to feel more confident about their abilities to deal with anxiety.

Tori Steffen:  Great. That's great to hear that those tactics can help with panic disorder and definitely good. I know that CBT is best and ideally done under the treatment and guidance of a licensed mental health professional.

Are there anything things that older adults can do on their own to potentially reduce or lessen those symptoms of anxiety?

Julie Erickson:  Yeah, absolutely. There's a number of important things that they can be doing. One of the first things I'd encourage older adults to do, is to try to be a detective with their anxiety. By that, I mean trying to make note of a few things when they feel anxious. To make note of where and when they tend to feel more anxious. Is it before trips to the doctor, while driving, before traveling? To also identify what thoughts that they may be experiencing at the time that they feel anxious.

What if I get into an accident? What if my doctor gives me terrible news and the like? Also to make note of what behaviors that they engage in when they feel anxious, whether it's avoiding driving or researching physical symptoms online. Making note of those different things can help understand the full picture of your anxiety and how it shows up in your life. That can ultimately help you be better situated to interrupt some of those usual things that go on when we feel anxious.

The second thing I think older adults can do is to talk to themselves like they would talk to a loved one or a close friend who was feeling anxious. If we had a loved one who was worrying about an upcoming medical appointment, we'd probably try to understand, to empathize and even to comfort them. Oftentimes, if we can do that for ourselves, that just tends to feel better and helps us feel a little bit better situated to cope with feelings of anxiety that might be coming up.

The third thing and final thing I'll mention that might help older adults in dealing with anxiety, has to do with experimenting with doing the opposite to what your anxiety pushes you to do. If you notice that your anxiety tends to make you want to avoid things like socializing, exercising, or trying new things, try to attempt to gradually face and overcome some of these fears by doing the opposite. If you notice perhaps that your anxiety makes you overdo things.

So over-come it, over-prepare for things, over-research, experiment with scaling back on some of those things. And people can find that if they change their behavior when they feel anxious, many of their feelings of anxiety can reduce over time. Those are some of main things I would encourage older adults to do, who feel anxious.

Tori Steffen:  Great. Thank you for sharing that. I'm sure it's helpful information and definitely relates to mindfulness and exposure therapy as well.

Well, Dr. Erickson, do you have any final words of advice or anything else that you'd like to share with our listeners today?

Julie Erickson:  Yeah, sure. I always like to plug some optimism for growing older. As much as there can be some negative stereotypes of aging and fear surrounding the process of growing older, there's also a lot to look forward to. The later years of life can bring a lot of freedom from responsibilities that were present earlier in life, so like child rearing or building a career.

Older adults acquire a lot of wisdom and emotional maturity that tends to peak in later life. Alongside that, they tend to have more clarity about the people and the things that are most important to them and tend to spend their time accordingly. As much as there are considerable challenges to growing older, there are a lot of upsides and things to look forward to.

Tori Steffen:  That's great. I love the optimistic perspective on that. Well, thank you so much for joining us, Dr. Erickson. It's been really great speaking with you today. Thank you so much for contributing to our interview series.

Julie Erickson:  You're welcome. Thanks for having me.

Tori Steffen:  Thank you. Have a great one.

Please note: The views expressed by the interviewee are for educational and informational purposes only, are not meant to diagnose or treat any condition, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Seattle Anxiety Specialists, PLLC.


Editor: Jennifer (Ghahari) Smith, Ph.D.

Social Worker Erin Maloney on the Innocent Lives Foundation

An Interview with Social Worker Erin Maloney

Erin Maloney, LCSW is the Director of Wellness for the Innocent Lives Foundation. She is a licensed clinical social worker specializing in trauma, addiction, ADHD, anxiety, depression, and other mood disorders.

Theresa Nair:  Thank you for joining us today for this installment of the Seattle Psychiatrist Interview series. I'm Theresa Nair, a research intern at Seattle Anxiety Specialists. We are a Seattle-based psychiatry, psychology and psychotherapy practice specializing in anxiety disorders.

I'd like to welcome with us clinical social worker, Erin Maloney, who is the Director of Wellness for the Innocent Lives Foundation. Erin earned her Bachelor Degree of Science and Psychology from St. Joseph's University in Philadelphia, and a Master's Degree in Social Work from Widener University in Chester.

She is currently a licensed clinical social worker specializing in trauma, addiction, secondary trauma, ADHD, anxiety, depression, and other mood disorders. Thank you for joining us today, Erin.

Erin Maloney:  Thank you for having me.

Theresa Nair:  Before we get started, can you please tell us a little bit more about yourself and what made you interested in studying clinical social work?

Erin Maloney:  Absolutely. I am a little bit about me. I am a mother of three. I also have a husband and a dog. I live in Scranton, Pennsylvania, like “The Office”. I have always been interested in mental health, actually since a very young age. I told my mom probably about five, six years old that I wanted to become a therapist and she just pushed me along to do whatever I wanted and follow my dreams.

I did, I entered into psychology and I loved it and I worked for quite a bit with my Bachelor's doing case management type work, but I realized I needed to further my education. While I was finished with my Bachelor's, I saw a plethora of therapists in the company that I worked for. It was a nonprofit behavioral health clinic and I saw everybody from LPCs to LSWs, LMFTs, every acronym in the book.

But my immediate supervisor was an LCSW and I found that she had the most, at the time for me, the most variety of opportunities. She could be a director of a program we might have had for behavioral health for children. Or, she could have actually done private practice type work, and I liked that because I could see a lot of settings.

That's when I decided to embark into Widener. I worked full time but got my Master's at night, and I really enjoyed finding that I wanted to keep pursuing from my Masters to license into the clinical license. That's how I got started in it. Always had an interest, always had an interest in people's minds and how it worked.

Theresa Nair:  That's great. It's wonderful when you feel like you're pursuing your purpose and even your calling.

Erin Maloney:  Yes, yes.

Theresa Nair:  For those who are not familiar with your organization, I'm wondering if you can tell us a little bit about the mission of the Innocent Lives Foundation and how it works to bring anonymous child predators to justice?

Erin Maloney:  Absolutely. I just want to say at this point, just a quick little trigger warning. My foundation does deal with trauma related to children and exploitation in any sort of assault. So just a little trigger if anybody is listening in to take care of yourself before or after. I don't think much will come up, but I always like to give that in advance.

Innocent Lives Foundation, what we do is our mission is to do that. We try to get the predators who are hiding online behind the scenes who are trying to exploit children or publish and/or share materials of, we call CSAM, Child Sexual Assault Material. That's our biggest mission is to bring to light the people hiding, to get them out of the dark and get them prosecuted properly.

Now, one of the things I always like to mention is we are non-vigilante. That is a very important part of our mission. We do not set ourselves up as young children. We do not try to entrap perpetrators. This is actually information we find on the open web. It's unbelievable what you would find on the open web, but we use what they call OSINT, which is open-source intelligence. It's basically anything any of us could find on the web, but they know where and how to look specifically for predators laying right within our children.

What we do at the ILF is we get leads and it could be come from, we have a form right on our website that people can enter. It could be a parent concerned about maybe who their children are chatting with. We might get law enforcement to say, "Hey, we could really use some good computer diving hacking skills to find out this case."

Or, it could actually come directly from somebody who might give it to us. Or, our researchers actually are doing the research and they can find a lead. Just be so maybe a username or somebody having an inappropriate photo up. We have, at ILF, different aspects that I wanted to go into because it sounds very confusing. What are you guys doing?

We have three distinct teams. We have what we call The PIT, which is Predator Identification Team, and they're our researchers and they are phenomenal hackers. We call them good guy hackers. They use their skills for good and they're all volunteers. But what they do is they are literally the ones behind the computer doing all the research for us finding this.

We have Education and Outreach Team, which those are our people who are more about putting out blogs, putting out educational materials, fundraising for us. They're really good for caregivers who might be struggling with anything like this.

Then lastly, we have a Development Team and what they do is they actually protect our PIT by developing tools that they can use to protect our PIT people from what they see. One of the big things we have is a blur tool so that our researchers are not seeing actual skin, they just see a blurred image and they can unblur it enough to maybe see a face if they need it, but it's to help them not be exposed to so much content in terms of that.

Those are our three distinct teams, and so what we do at ILF is we all work together in tandem to basically have that one common mission to help bring predators out of the light.

Theresa Nair:  That's great. I mean it's really interesting that you have the blur tool.

Erin Maloney:  Yes.

Theresa Nair:  Because I was wondering, how do you search for this without seeing all of it? So, that would be helpful.

Erin Maloney:  Yes, yes. We very much try to protect. Unfortunately, sometimes the text cases are some of the hardest because you're reading it and your mind goes there, but we still try to protect as much as can.

Theresa Nair:  Is that on the general internet or what's referred to as the dark web?

Erin Maloney:  Yes. Yeah. There is a whole dark web that we are aware of, but we actually try to leave that to law enforcement to do themselves because it is such a gray area. We keep everything above board. Like I said, we're trying to not be vigilantes, not get ourselves in trouble.

Everything people do, even our researchers do things on a device of ours so they're never caught with any sort of material or viewing. We would never want anybody be in trouble of any sort, so everything is done through a computer they have from us with tools and things like that to protect them.

Theresa Nair:  Okay, that's good. That helps to clarify how you even do something like this?

Erin Maloney:  Yes, yes, exactly.

Theresa Nair:  You spend a lot of your time working with volunteers within the organization, the people who are using their skills in order to help identify child predators. You're providing counseling services, I believe. Can you explain why it's important to provide this type of service to the volunteers, and what types of mental health impacts can result from this line of work?

Erin Maloney:  Absolutely. As this started, my CEO he realized quickly, he actually started Innocent Lives Foundation by accident. He is what they call a pen tester. His company does do security breaches for companies to help them learn how to improve the security of their companies.

In doing so, he accidentally stumbled upon child sexual assault material on somebody's device and was able to turn that into law enforcement. It was very validating and reassuring for him and he thought, "I did this so easily, why couldn't we do this as something like a nonprofit or a mission?" He started it from there, which really led to, but he knew the importance of the mental health piece. He said, "If we do this, we have to make sure we're not harming anybody in doing so."

That's how it's always been a proponent since day one. I'm part of every aspect from when they get onboarded. We have a very extensive onboarding. People go through various interviews, and one is a wellness assessment with me because again, we are trying not to damage anybody. If there's significant trauma that's maybe unprocessed or raw still, we're not going to want to have somebody in that capacity working right now with us.

By doing that now you had said, so there's the component of me meeting them early on and then I actually meet with them once a month if they are what we call The PIT, so at minimum they have to meet with me once a month. If you are in another aspect of our team like Education Outreach or Development, you only have to reach out with me once every three months because obviously they're not dealing with the content as much. Like I said, it's different timeframes for different people.

So, that's how I work with them. Now, if somebody has a already current mental health... Now remember, these people are coming voluntarily and not all of them have a psychological disorder. Not all of them have an Axis 1 diagnosis. However, some do and when they do, I make it very clear that I'm more of a wellness piece. If they need extensive work, if there's somebody that I sense needs almost weekly sessions or if they have an addiction they're struggling with or anything even more significant, then I definitely refer them out to a private therapist in their area and/or medication management or other resources.

Then I actually collaborate with any of the people they need me to collaborate with because it is such a unique setting situation. If a therapist needs a little bit of advice or what we do where we do, I'll consult with them as well. I'm involved with them quite a bit, at least once a month and I have a very good rapport with all the volunteers.

Theresa Nair:  Do you find that people may need more services the longer that they do this? Or maybe after particular incidents? Are there maybe something in particular that they find or is it steady?

Erin Maloney:  No, you know what it is? Actually, it's not the work that I notice, it's life changes that impact their volunteering with me. When I say that, we have new parents, for example. Let's say a volunteer has never been a parent, but suddenly they're a parent and they might be one of our researchers. They may not suddenly be able to stomach what they once stomached, and so they may very well say, "I cannot."

We actually have a pause program which is completely non punitive. It's something the volunteer can initiate, or myself if I really sense somebody's just not doing well, I'd encourage that. Really, up to 90 days they can just quietly stay with us. They can join meetings if they want, they can meet with me if they want, but they're not required to do any sort of minimal work for us to keep them active as a volunteer, which is nice.

Then the other option is we also have moving around. We had one PIT member who had a hard time, again with children, and almost sometimes people could actually put their child's face on a victim, which you'd never want to see happen. That is, we never want to damage anybody. So, that person actually still wanted to be with our mission so they stepped aside to Education Outreach and they write educational blogs, or they might speak publicly at a local community event for themselves.

It's really neat. You can still move around and help with that very same mission, but not damage yourself psychologically if you are struggling. I don't find the work... I feel like if people are already here in the mindset to do this type of work, then they've either been exposed to things or they're pretty prepared to compartmentalize their brain to step into this work and step out of this work.

Theresa Nair:  That's interesting because you would assume that maybe it was something that they saw. But it's interesting that it's more life changes that they might be going through.

Erin Maloney:  It truly is. Yep.

Theresa Nair:  And what they're able to view at different points in their life.

Erin Maloney:  We have a very strong level system, that when they start, they start at a very bare... it's more just finding leads. Maybe finding usernames that might be connected to something, and then there's levels. We're not going to have somebody brand new coming in exposed to something that might be very horrific.

I don't even, age is a big factor. Maybe younger children might be too difficult for them, so we're not going to do that. We're going to have them work up in levels and so that they're not really exposed to anything too much too fast because they could process with me the whole time they're doing it whether they're okay or not with that.

I'll check in on them with their case and how it's affecting them and generally fits good and they seem like they're confident with it, then they can move up in the level system, if you will.

Theresa Nair:  Sounds like there's a lot of options for volunteering.

Erin Maloney:  Yes, yes. We do not let it damage or harm anybody because they're helping us. They're volunteering for us, so we would never want to do anything that could hurt somebody.

Theresa Nair:  Okay. I know you've mentioned, and it says on the webpage as well, that you use cognitive behavioral therapy to assist your work with Innocent Lives Foundation.

Erin Maloney:  Yeah.

Theresa Nair:  Could you talk a little bit about how you use that, and then also if there's any other techniques that you find to be productive?

Erin Maloney:  Absolutely. Like I said before, my wellness sessions are typical check-ins. How are you doing, tell me what's going on in your life? But what I listen for and people know, all the volunteers know I use cognitive behavioral therapy because I'm listening for any sort of negative or illogical thoughts and they know that and they know when I can pinpoint that, what I might hear.

If I sense that somebody's really struggling with something, then we will start using cognitive behavioral techniques to see if we can figure out whether this is something more pressing, either a budding anxiety disorder. Or, if this is just something in their lives, maybe an adjustment to something that they're dealing with.

I do a lot of reframing. If I initially hear them say something negative, I might put it in a different reframe. If they're like, "Oh yeah, yeah, yeah" and they get that and I don't hear it again, then I realize they might have just been dealing with something. What I do a lot of with the volunteers is activity scheduling in terms of cognitive behavioral therapy. Because what we do is you would not be able to necessarily do this work in front of your family in the middle maybe of a work day. There's a lot of this content that cannot be exposed. We have to activity schedule, is it best to do this maybe an hour? But you don't want to do it right before bed either. Maybe there's an evening hour that this is best for. Or, perhaps you have a quiet hour in the day with nobody around you. We do that to find the best for a person to pick the time that they can do this type of work.

Role playing. If somebody's struggling with anything really in their lives, but in particular maybe wanting to switch gears in ILF, I might help role play with them. Maybe if they want to approach that with our COO and how they might be able to switch over into a different capacity.

So, I do a lot, now again, if I sense it's something more, then I will encourage them to seek out therapy on an ongoing basis so they can do real true weekly or even twice a week sessions if needed. But generally with some cognitive behavioral therapy, I could figure out if it's something more or not, and that's what I tend to do.

Theresa Nair:  Okay, and do you tend to see any increases in anxiety or depression from the volunteers when they work for maybe an extended period of time on this?

Erin Maloney:  Well, it's funny you said that. If I do sense that, then that's again where I will go into that pause option. "Hey, do you need to pause? Are things getting too much for you?" But it's funny you say that, I've actually seen it go both ways. Where I've seen it in the negative might be, again, if they have a, let's say they're starting a new job position and this is their volunteer position, they might have too much on their plate and so their anxiety's increasing and then they have guilt about not doing their volunteer work, then there's all that.

If I sense that, then we definitely encourage a pause and again, a pause could be 30 days. It doesn't have to be 90 days, but we just encourage that you take a little mental break, take a break from us and come back when you're refreshed and ready.

However, it goes on the other side where this work is very validating sometimes. Because a lot of our volunteers may either have been a survivor of assault in their past. They could have been groomed as a child themselves, or they have a family member who this maybe impacts. When they have a case that's a win, that is completely validating. It's a way to take power back from maybe where they've felt powerless in their past. It can actually be very, very good mentally as well.

The only struggle with that is the reality is we don't always get feedback from law enforcement of how our case is? We hand in a report to law enforcement, but it might not always be clear whether that case went to trial, whether that person was convicted.

We don't always get the information, and so I have to make sure the volunteer's okay with that, that we're not always going to know every win. Are you going to be able to stay motivated on cases you don't know the answer to? There's a lot of areas to poke around in there.

Theresa Nair:  That is interesting. There's that sense of empowerment, right?

Erin Maloney:  Yes, yes.

Theresa Nair:  When they're able to do something, but I'm sure it's a little frustrating when you just never know what happens?

Erin Maloney:  Yes. Exactly, exactly. But that's not our role. We don't want fame, we don't want to be associated with putting somebody away. We are really truly just totally behind the scenes trying to help. We have the computer skills to find a lot of people and we try to hand that over to law enforcement, and so we don't always get the answers.

Theresa Nair:  Do you think there's other areas of volunteer work, or perhaps other professions in general that would benefit from providing these types of mental health services to volunteers or to employees?

Erin Maloney:  Yes. It's funny you say that. We have some volunteers who are either currently or ex-military, or current or ex law enforcement. They have said many times that if they had somebody at their office to talk to, it could have made a major difference for them with some of the things that they endured or witnessed.

I know there's a lot of EAP programs for companies, but I think there is something at me being here every day for them that makes a very big difference. They just know. I get to know them very well. It's a stable, long-lasting relationship, and so they don't have to re-explain themselves to somebody new. I'm part of the team itself and employed there, so it makes a big difference I think in that consistency that they know I'm here and they could come to me at any time.

Theresa Nair:  It seems it might also be beneficial that you have a regular scheduled monthly meeting at least with everybody.

Erin Maloney:  Yes.

Theresa Nair:  Because I think sometimes in workplace mental health services, people are afraid to use them because they're afraid of being stigmatized even if somebody sees them going to talk to the person, or if the boss finds out that they're talking to the person. Do you think it's helpful just going ahead and scheduling appointments with everybody?

Erin Maloney:  Yeah, I really do. It's so funny you say that. Yeah, because I could definitely tell there's a resistance. Our team, for the most part, it is a lot of people who happen to be in cyber security type industry. When you're in that industry, you actually tend to be, not to stereotype an entire group, but sometimes you tend to be introverted and private.

Therefore, I do think this forces people a little bit out of their comfort zone and then they do realize, "Oh, this isn't so bad." Because I'm not deep diving way into their past, Freudian style. It is non-confrontational. I go at their pace and whatever they choose to talk about. Obviously, we talk about case work, but anything else they might need to address.

It gives them a huge shift if they already had a fear or resistance to therapy where it's not so bad for them after a while, once they get to know me better. Yeah, I agree. I think it's very good that it's almost forced upon them and I send out reminders and I reach out.

If they avoid me after a certain amount of time, then we have to do the whole, "Are you trying to pause? Is there something you need?" So, it's nice, but that's rare that I don't hear from somebody

Theresa Nair:  Then it's, "Well, I'm talking to her anyway. I may as well have a real conversation, right?"

Erin Maloney:  Exactly. The other thing to this is that again you mentioned, you asked about different fields. Well, law enforcement or some other heavy content type professions, they can't turn to their family or their loved ones and just spill what happened in their day, similar to this type of work. They're not going to turn and say, "Guess what this case is about?" You can't. You want to protect your own loved ones and family and friends.

A lot of our volunteers are anonymous, so this gives them a direct place to process what they need to process without feeling they're burdening anybody. Without feeling like they're going to hurt or harm anybody. It's just a safe space for them dedicated to them, and I feel like it gives them that open door.

Theresa Nair:  Then they can talk about that case work that they maybe couldn't discuss with other people.

Erin Maloney:  Exactly, exactly.

Theresa Nair:  I think that's a great model. I wish more places would do that.

Erin Maloney:  I do too. I do too. It's very nice, and I do feel like with law enforcement in particular, I think of that field and just the things that come home from, or anybody on the front lines really. After a really rough day of what you might witness or see or hear, and then you have to go home with that.

That's where I feel for people when they don't have any place to just unload that on, and making the time. That's the other thing you had mentioned. We all have a hard time making the time, and at least with this, it's mandatory so it's part of your volunteer. We ask people to volunteer if they're volunteering with us for about 10 hours a month if possible, but that includes a lot.

We have a team meeting, which is once a month. We have myself, would be an hour so that's already detracting right off their volunteer hours for us, so it helps that it's just built right in for them.

Theresa Nair:  Right, and then they don't have to take the initiative to seek out speaking to somebody. It's just a part of it.

Erin Maloney:  Exactly, exactly.

Theresa Nair:  Well, as someone who specializes in cognitive behavior techniques to support the mental health of those engaged in volunteer work, do you have any parting words of advice or anything else you'd like to share with our listeners?

Erin Maloney:  Sure. I mention this to volunteers all the time, and I would like for your listeners to know. I think balancing life is the key. You really have to balance your life, and volunteering is actually a very worthy and beneficial cause to you. This really helps fuel your soul. But if the plate's full and you just need to get rid of something, then that's generally, unfortunately some self-care things or things we do for ourselves might be some of the first things to go.

So, I just always say, "Stay balanced." But if you are realizing you can't manage everything, you can't problem solve, you're losing your focus, you don't want to burn out. Really, I always say we cannot, you do not want to burn out. Before you start, that's where, going back to the cognitive behavioral I therapy, I listen for the negative.

If I start hearing negative comments and negative thoughts that are just kind of untrue, I really try to help reframe. But if it's not possible, then we have to look at what they might have to cut out of their lives? What they might have to do to manage things? Balancing life, self-care is very important, but you need to know when you need to step back and maybe make some changes.

Theresa Nair:  That's great advice. Well, thank you so much for making the time to speak with us and participating in our interview series.

Erin Maloney:  Thank you. Thank you for having me. I just want to make sure I tell you guys that you can always go to our website, innocentlivesfoundation.com. There are great resources and tools on there. If anybody ever had to make a report of anything they were concerned with, again, it could be a parent, a caregiver, a teacher.

If somebody's concerned about maybe what a child's posting or who a child's speaking with or they're unsure of things that are online, you can always submit a report right there and we'll reach out and see what we can help investigate for you. Please use us as a resource as needed. Again, we have great blogs and articles on there and things that you might find very helpful.

Theresa Nair:  That's great, and we will also link to that website underneath our interview so that people can find it easily.

Erin Maloney:  Wonderful. That sounds great.

Theresa Nair:  Okay. Thank you so much for joining us today.

Erin Maloney:  Of course. Thanks for having me.

Please note: The views expressed by the interviewee are for educational and informational purposes only, are not meant to diagnose or treat any condition, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Seattle Anxiety Specialists, PLLC.


Editor: Jennifer (Ghahari) Smith, Ph.D.

Psychiatrist Christine Adams on Tantrums & Meltdowns

An Interview with Psychiatrist Christine Adams

Christine Adams, M.D. is a child and adolescent psychiatrist who is double board-certified. She is an award-winning, best-selling author regarding how emotional conditioning effects relationships.

Nikayla Jeffrey:  Thank you for joining us today. I'm Nikayla Jeffrey, research intern at Seattle Anxiety Specialists. I'd like to welcome with us child and adult psychiatrist, Christine B. L. Adams, MD. She is co-author of the bestselling, award-winning, Living on Automatic: How Emotional Conditioning Shapes Our Lives and Relationships. A double board certified psychiatrist, some of her work deals with topics such as tantrums and meltdowns in adults, and that's what we'll be discussing today. Before we get started, Dr. Adams, can you please let us know a little bit about yourself and some about the work and writing you've done?

Christine Adams:  Sure. Thank you for inviting me. I've been a child and adolescent psychiatrist and also worked with adults for 42 years, and I've worked primarily in private practice doing psychotherapy rather than medications with people to help them understand the roots of their problems. I also was a professor at a medical school and worked in community mental health centers. I also, for 25 years, was a forensic child psychiatrist who gave expert testimony in child abuse cases, mainly sexual abuse, and also divorce and custody and parental alienation cases. I worked for a while with the Social Security Administration doing disability appeals on children, and I worked with the Department of Defense for a while. So that's kind of my work background.

My writing background is pretty varied. I have a blog at PsychologyToday.com where we look at all sorts of issues having to do with relationships, how people manage emotions, custody disputes, whether sole custody or shared custody is best for children and under what circumstances, and also parental alienation. My book, Living on Automatic, is a study done by two psychiatrists, me and my mentor, Homer Martin, and it covers 40 years of work for him and 40 years of work for me, and we looked at the development of people's personalities and how parents shape them early in their lives. By age three, we found the personality is rather set. So that has been the bulk of my writing interest over the last 10 years.

Nikayla Jeffrey:  Wonderful. What do you think made you first become interested in this field? What sparked your interest in these topics?

Christine Adams:  Well, when I was in training, I began to observe things, and I didn't understand, and so I began asking my supervisors. And Dr. Martin was one of my mentors. And the things that I began to observe were things like why are siblings so different when they're raised in the same family? And why are people that I would see in psychotherapy from different families so similar to one another? And that perplexed me, and I started asking questions, and he encouraged me to keep observing and to research more on this. But that's kind of what got me started, questions that I couldn't really answer, and that most of my supervisors couldn't answer.

Now, what got me into psychiatry was that I was kind of overloaded with psychiatry as a child. My father was a child psychiatrist. My mother's grandfather was a psychiatrist at the turn of the century, the early 20th century, and my mother worked for a psychoanalyst in New York City. So I had all these books available. I heard all this talk all the time about psychiatry. I thought people were fascinating, because I didn't understand them as a child, and that's what got me into the field. And then as I got older, I realized children need a voice. They often get lost in their families and they need a voice. They need somebody to help them articulate what they're thinking and feeling, and to learn how to tell their families, because it will cut down on their emotional suffering.

Nikayla Jeffrey:  In one of your pieces, you write about tantrums and meltdowns specifically in adults, rather than in children. Can you touch on what the differences are between these two things and perhaps how one can maybe turn into the other?

Christine Adams:  Sure. I think this is from a blog that I have on Psychology Today that you read. A tantrum is an emotional blowup when somebody is thwarted from getting something that they want. When they don't get it, they pitch a fit. That's what a tantrum is. A meltdown is an emotional blowup or an emotional shutdown when a person is unable to cope with a situation, so it's a coping problem. They're totally overwhelmed. Now, it may be something extraordinary that is overwhelming, like a divorce or a custody battle or the death of somebody that you're close to. Or it may be, depending on your personality, something rather trivial that you can't cope with. And the example I often use is a person who can't get to work on time gets reprimanded by their boss for being late, and they have a meltdown because they just can't cope with the idea that they need to get to work on time every day. So we can discuss later, some personalities suffer tantrums and some personalities are more prone to meltdowns.

Nikayla Jeffrey:  So it has to do a lot with your specific personality type, whether or not you'll be prone to tantrums or meltdowns as an adult?

Christine Adams:  Yes. And the circumstances will be very different for the two personalities is what we discovered.

Nikayla Jeffrey:  So with talking about types of personalities, you mention in that same piece something about divergent personalities. I was wondering if you could define that?

Christine Adams:  Well, this gets into our research that's in our book, Living on Automatic. What we discovered is that there's two main roles or personalities that people form. These are formed by the way parents shape you emotionally, unbeknownst to you and unbeknownst to parents, early in your life, so that by age three, your personality is pretty much set, which is kind of scary, because that happens before you're largely verbal. But you learn all these emotional cues from your family about how you're to see yourself and how you're to see other people.

And it turns out that they're pretty much opposites. We call them one type, the omnipotent personality, and the other type is the impotent personality. And the omnipotent personality is very, very strong. They're very high in self-control. They give unlimited care to other people. They give very poor care to themselves. As a child, parents expect a great deal of them. So when they grow up later on, they expect a great deal out of themselves. And you can see how as I describe these two types of personalities that emotional problems set in with each type of a different variety and in a different way. But the way parents condition people makes them prone to emotional illnesses or suffering and relationship conflict down the road.

Now, the impotent personality is just that, impotent. Feels very helpless about themselves. Feels they can't conquer things. They expect others to care for them. They expect others to meet their needs. They expect others to take responsibility for them and troubleshoot for them, and they have very poor self-control. Parents overindulge them and expect very little from them in the way of accomplishments and in the way of giving care to other people that they care about. So you can see how these are divergent. These are very opposite and different. And, of course, we go into tremendous detail from infancy through people in their 90s in the book, Living on Automatic. So you can read more about it in the book if you're curious.

Nikayla Jeffrey:  And this stronger omnipotent personality, they expect more from themselves, that you mentioned is connected to experiencing meltdowns, correct?

Christine Adams:  Yes. What happens with an omnipotent, is omnipotents rarely have tantrums, because they're not good at promoting things they want. So they will easily acquiesce to other people, so they will rarely have tantrums where they pitch a fit for something they desire. But if they're totally overwhelmed by somebody asking or wanting something from them that they want to deliver but they can't because it's impossible, then they will have a meltdown. Tears, lots of guilt over failing the other person's request. They can have rage at themselves. Their suicide risk can go up at these points. So that's what their meltdowns look like.

Now, an impotent can have a meltdown, the example I gave before, being reprimanded for being late at work, they can say, "This is awful. This is unfair." And be full of tears and rage and anger. But the anger is not at themselves. The anger is at the person who's reprimanding them. So they project the anger that should be their responsibility onto the person who's complaining about them. So the meltdowns are for different reasons in the two personalities, and only the impotents have tantrums. Omnipotents don't have tantrums when they need to have a tantrum or should have a tantrum.

Nikayla Jeffrey:  In discussing tantrums, you said that it's important to decide whether a tantrum is a reasonable response for that situation for these people. They've said whether a tantrum is called for, almost. And I would ask, is a tantrum ever a reasonable response?

Christine Adams:  Yes. What I often advise omnipotent patients is you need to have a... I call it designated tantrum with the person who's asking too much of you. You need to pitch a fit or do something to get their attention so that they know they're being unreasonable with you. Because an omnipotent personality tends to acquiesce and say, "Okay, you're being unreasonable, but I'll try and do what you want." So it's reasonable for an omnipotent to occasionally throw tantrums with people when they're overstepping their boundaries with them. But for impotent personalities, they so often easily resort to tantrums that there's really no need to promote that behavior. There's the opposite need to promote not having a tantrum and to letting them assume responsibility for what they have done.

Nikayla Jeffrey:  And when it comes to these emotional blowups that happen, you also mentioned that a reality check is needed. Can you give an example of what a reality check might be? And then talk about whether one personality type may be more resistant to a reality check than another.

Christine Adams:  Yeah. When I talk about a reality check, it's evaluating how reasonable your thinking and your behavior is for the situation you find yourself in. So it's sort of saying to yourself, well, let me take a time out with myself and let me look at the situation not with my emotions, but with my brain, and think about what am I doing here, what am I feeling, what am I saying, how am I behaving, and is this reasonable for the situation?

So an omnipotent might say, "My boss has asked me to work all weekend on a project. I was going to go on a short trip and now I have to cancel the trip and turn in this project first thing Monday morning. And I'm going to cancel my plans and work on this all weekend." So they might say to themselves, "Is this reasonable behavior on my part in thinking that I believe I can do this and should do this?" Now, an impotent will be late to school repeatedly and need to say to themselves, the reality check, "Am I being reasonable here being late to school every day? Everybody else gets there on time. I'm missing classwork. I'm disturbing the classroom when I come in."

So it's a way of evaluating for the situation whether you're being reasonable or not. And it's difficult for both personality types to do reality checks. And we talk in the book, Living on Automatic, how you do this with yourself, regardless of your personality, because both personality roles or types need to do this. So we talk about how you do this, because each role must work diligently through their lifetime to undo some of this emotional conditioning and bring themselves sort of from afar back to the middle where they can be more reasonable with themselves and other people.

Nikayla Jeffrey:  So both personality types need reality checks, but it looks different for each type of personality?

Christine Adams:  Yes, absolutely. You got it.

Nikayla Jeffrey:  Okay. Perfect. Those are all my specific questions, but I know you wanted to talk a little bit about the research that you're doing, correct? The new research about your book.

Christine Adams:  Well, I also wanted to say, if you encounter a situation with yourself or with a family member or coworker who's having emotional blowups, you might be able to help yourself or them by looking at two different issues. The first is what kind of person am I dealing with? Am I dealing with an omnipotent who rarely blows up at anybody or am I dealing with an impotent person who blows up a lot and has tantrums a lot? And then you can help them do a reality check. Ask yourself or them, okay, what circumstances provoke the episode you're having? What does the person talk about or focus on? Are they upset with themselves or are they upset with another person? Who do they lash out at, themself or another person? If it's a tantrum, is anything really reasonable wanted? Or is it in the realm of it's just something you want and it's not very reasonable? If it's a meltdown, is it an overwhelming event or is it a trifle situation? And I would ask them or ask yourself what can you say or do differently next time to see if there's any learning involved in how to better manage the situation? And this sometimes makes people pause and think about what they're doing, and it's a way to help others and it's a way to help yourself.

I am doing a lot of book marketing for Living on Automatic. I have podcasts, media interviews, articles, Psychology Today blogs, all on my website, DoctorChristineAdams.com. I'm going to be teaching a webinar that will be posted on my website about emotional conditioning and these two personality types. And I'm also on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And if you want to write me, ask questions, you can do that through the website. I have a newsletter that you can join. And I'll just hold up the book one more time, so you can see it. It's got a picture of two people with cogs in their head, one's a man and one's a woman, and the cogs are turning around.

Nikayla Jeffrey:  Perfect, thank you.

Christine Adams:  Yeah. Thank you very much. Do you have any other questions?

Nikayla Jeffrey:  I don't think so unless you have any last parting words of advice on how to work with the different personalities in your life. Or any parting words. But besides that, no more questions.

Christine Adams:  Well, I just think it's most of the time we go through life and we think other people are like us, and they're not. People are very different. But we found that they do kind of fit into two opposite, divergent roles or personalities. So if you can learn to identify the different types of people then you know better how to deal with them.

Nikayla Jeffrey:  Thank you very much.

Christine Adams:  Thank you.

Please note: The views expressed by the interviewee are for educational and informational purposes only, are not meant to diagnose or treat any condition, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Seattle Anxiety Specialists, PLLC.


Editor: Jennifer (Ghahari) Smith, Ph.D.

Attorney Wendy Patrick on Predators & Manipulation

An Interview with Attorney Wendy Patrick, J.D., Ph.D.

Dr. Wendy Patrick is a deputy district attorney, author, media commentator, and veteran prosecutor. In addition to her law degree, Wendy Patrick has earned a doctorate in Theology. An accomplished trial attorney, Dr. Patrick’s research focuses on a variety of topics related to interpersonal violence and sexual assault.

Amelia Worley:  Hi. Thanks for joining us today for this installment at the Seattle Psychiatrist Interview Series. I'm Amelia Worley, a research intern at Seattle Anxiety Specialists. I'd like to welcome Dr. Wendy Patrick. Dr. Patrick is a deputy district attorney, author, media commentator, and veteran prosecutor. She's completed over 165 trials, including cases of domestic violence, hate crimes, stalking, human trafficking, and first degree murder. She has also been involved with the San Diego Domestic Violence Council, the San Diego Child Protection Team, and the Sexual Assault Response Team. Dr. Patrick researches, advises, and publishes on a variety of topics related to interpersonal violence, sexual assault, and working with victims, including her book, “Red Flags: How to Spot Frenemies, Underminers, and Ruthless People.” Before we get started, Dr. Patrick, can you please let us know a little more about yourself and what you made you interested in dealing with dangerous people, sexual assault, and domestic violence?

Wendy Patrick:  I've been a prosecutor for my entire career, I would say since before you've been born, but it lends a little bit of credibility to what I'm talking about. For whatever reason, during the 25 years plus I've been a prosecutor, I've dealt with a steady stream of dangerous people. One of the things that really struck me, Amelia, about this is the sometimes very worldly, intelligent, savvy victims, people you wouldn't expect to be victims because they don't strike you as particularly vulnerable in any arena, yet there they were. I went back to school to earn a Master in Divinity and then a PhD mid-career. It was my mid-career crisis if that's a term, and really became in love with research, as I suppose I was. That's what led me to want to go on and further my education because there's an enormous amount of research behind why, why people fall for dangerous people, how dangerous people corner victims, how they manipulate even very street smart savvy professionals. It is with that combination of the anecdotal, the empirical, and I would say the experiential, given the work that I've done for 25 years, that really brought me to a lot of the information that I cover in that book.

Amelia Worley:  Yeah. That's great. To begin, can you describe the acronym “FLAGs” that you created to separate the dangerous from the desirable?

Wendy Patrick:  Well, my first book was the revised version of the New York Times bestseller “Reading People,” which I coauthored with a famous jury consultant. That talked about the seven colors of what somebody looks like, how they behave. Red Flags is a deeper dive. Flag stands for focus, lifestyle, associations, and goals. Let me explain each one of those so your listeners can understand a little bit about why this gives you more of an idea of who is this person behind the persona.

Focus is the F, and the reason I wanted to use that for flag, it also talks about focus being attention reveals intention. For example, I think on the back cover of the book, the publishing company has the red flags on a first date, your body, your brain, or the ball game. What is somebody focused on when they're with you? Well, that tells them what they're interested in. If they're not interested in you, why are they spending time with you. Oftentimes in the child predator world it's because they're interested in the child. I cannot tell you how many trials I've had where you've had spouses and girlfriends and boyfriends that had no idea that honestly believed they were the prize. They were the ones that the perpetrator was after, but if they looked back at the focus, that was never really it.

Lifestyle is what you might imagine. I sometimes call this red flags after five. If you want to know what somebody is like, you have to know more about what they do during the work day. You may see them all day at work, nine to five, and have no idea who they really are unless you know what they do when they're off the clock. I say, lifestyle is personality revealed. What are their hobbies? What are their interests? Where do they go if they have a free day.

Now, Associations stands for who do we spend our time with? When I was growing up my parents used to say, show me your friends and I'll show you your future. My law students now tell me that, I suppose, the updated version of that is show me your friends and I'll show you who you are. Either way, it proves the point, birds of a feather. What sort of company do we keep? Are we guilty by association? I mean, who do we choose to spend our time with if we have a choice? What organizations do we belong to? What philanthropic activities capture our attention.

Then Goals is really a profile in priorities. If I knew, for example, Amelia, what you prayed for at night or what you wished for when you toss a coin into a wishing well, you're too young, but we used to do that back in the day, I would know a lot about you. Knowing what somebody's goals are tells you a lot about them as a person. All four of these FLAG areas taken in combination gives you a much deeper picture of what a person is really like.

Amelia Worley:  Yeah. What are some recognizable signs of people who have ulterior and self-serving motives then?

Wendy Patrick:  Well, one of the things you really have to look at goes back to that focus component. It would be like, I'm a Rotarian, so I'll use the rotary example. Lots of people join service organizations, but why are they there? Are they there to put it on a resume? Are they there because they genuinely want to help serve the homeless? When you're looking at somebody's motivation, some of the signs have to do with where they focus their attention and on what aspect of belonging, I'm just using that as an example, are they interested in when they go to a social hour or a networking event? If you look at their focus, if you look at the fact that they're not necessarily interested in building business, but gathering business cards to maybe put on a mailing list. So, it's really paying attention to what somebody does.

We used to say a picture is worth a thousand words. Actions speak louder than words. That is the takeaway from being able to tell what a person is really like. A dangerous person, their actions speak for themselves. They're not philanthropic actions. They're only asking questions designed to elicit the kind of information that might give them an idea of an area of vulnerability. I gave the example of the focus and some of the women, in particular, that were married to child predators or married to pedophiles. They would often find that looking back, right, that's always sadly the way that many people look at red flags, looking back, there were tons of signs that they really only wanted, they were almost only a conduit, a way in which the predator could gain access to the person they were really interested in. Some predators use people to gain access to resources, time, money, favors, all the kinds of things in a workplace setting, for example, that shows they're not really interested in a coworker, but in what that coworker can do for them. It's that end game that sometimes we have to really keep an eye on.

Amelia Worley:  Yeah. In your book, “Red Flags: How to Spot Frenemies, Underminers, and Ruthless People,” you talk about how dangerous people use selective attention to manipulate their victims. How and why does this work?

Wendy Patrick:  Well, it works because to somebody that's not used to receiving attention, that can be the most intoxicating experience of their life. I'll give the example of somebody that isn't drop dead gorgeous, somebody that's perhaps not attractive is not used to getting attention really from anybody. It's a terrible situation. As a Christian, my heart goes out to those people. They're the most beautiful people sometimes that I will ever meet, but their experience is not getting double takes on the street by men in whom they might potentially be interested in. If a manipulator, and we see this a lot in the human trafficking arena, if a manipulator, a trafficker, somebody that has ulterior motives, swoops in and gives them the kind of attention they've only dreamed about receiving, that is uniquely attractive to somebody that's not used to receiving that type of attention. Of course, a predator, a manipulator, somebody that's interested and has ulterior motives, of course they're going to use that approach.

Now they have to be careful because sometimes people that are not the most attractive people in the room might be the smartest, so they have to be very subtle about the way in which they're approaching these people so they don't raise the antenna. Let me tell you what the research shows. This is going to surprise some of our listeners and viewers. Sometimes, even when you have somebody that suspects somebody has ulterior motives, even they can't help being flattered by the attention. How do you like that? It's almost like an emotional cognitive override. Emotionally it feels so good that even though cognitively you suspect ulterior motives, you still respond favorably to the flattery. That is the bread and butter of people, dangerous people that have ulterior motives is knowing that people are susceptible to that kind of attention.

Amelia Worley:  That's really interesting. What role does physical appearance play in misjudgment and wrong perceptions? I know you've talked about this a little bit, but additionally, how does this relate to the halo effect?

Wendy Patrick:  Well, the halo effect stands for, and all of our psychiatrists and psychologist guests will appreciate this, as they know, it talks about this phenomenon that if somebody looks good, sounds good, is pretty, is attractive, we tend to ascribe to them all of these positive qualities they don't have. Some of the research, there's a lot of research behind the halo effect, maybe some people that work with you have even authored some of the studies, but it has to do with us saying things like, “Oh, I bet she's a really good mother. I'll bet he can be trusted,” only because they're good looking. There's many studies that show that attractive criminals, which is of course my line of work, are treated more leniently. They sometimes get more favorable plea bargains. Juries give them the benefit of the doubt.

I've tried about 160 cases. That's a lot of cases if you're a lawyer. In that time period, I've had the opportunity to speak to almost all of my jurors that have waited around after the fact and found that they often really do give my pretty defendants a break. It's one thing to say, this woman is charged with being a child molester and sleeping with her students at school and all the rest of these nasty things, it's quite another to look over and see those jurors smiling, looking at the pretty lady in the polka dot and pearls sitting at the defendant's table. That sometimes translates into a very lenient verdict or a non verdict in the form of a hung jury. It is very difficult to overcome the halo effect because, again, it's something that is emotional, not necessarily cognitive.

I'll tell you one exception of that. There's been some research that has shown that if a jury finds that a pretty or a handsome defendant used their looks to facilitate a crime, they don't like that because that's almost a counterintuitive backdoor way of using what they might otherwise have been susceptible to as the triers of fact in the way that they committed the crime.

Amelia Worley:  That's fascinating, actually.

Wendy Patrick:  It is.

Amelia Worley:  Also in your book, you talked about helping behavior. How can this create a power imbalance and eventually lead to a dangerous situation?

Wendy Patrick:  Well, helping behavior creates dependence. Many of the cases that I've tried have involved predators, child molesters, sexual assaulters. They gain access into the victim's life. They weaseled their way in by being helpful. They're the handyman. They can do anything. They can fix the internet. They can fix the car. If they engage in enough helping behavior, a victim becomes dependent. There have been some cases in which that's been illustrated, sadly, in grand fashion where you have a neighbor that's interested, for example, in a next door neighbor's child. He becomes indispensable to the next door neighbor. I mean, he's over there fixing her car, fixing anything that goes wrong in the house, sometimes even beginning to show up unannounced. It's a boundary probing kind of insidious progression, creating vulnerability.

Sometimes when he shows up unannounced, the neighbor that is so used to this man fixing everything, doesn't even stop him because she doesn't want to lose access to that free labor. Nothing's free. It's only a matter of time before this man will ask to babysit a child. Now, is it true that there are some really kind people that are helpers? Absolutely. That's why there are four flag areas and not just one. You just want to make sure that if something seems too good to be true that sometimes it is. Make sure you go through all the areas of interest, that some people are as good as they look, but not everyone. I'll leave it at that.

Amelia Worley:  Yeah. Once you realize someone in your life is manipulative or deceptive, it can be anxiety-inducing or depressing. What steps should you take when you realize someone like this is in your life? What if it's someone you love?

Wendy Patrick:  Ah, depression and anxiety are something that everybody struggles with. Those are conditions that transcend any kind of boundary, socioeconomic. I mean, no matter who you are, where you live, what you do, you're vulnerable. Part of the reason you're vulnerable is exactly what you just mentioned. Sometimes you find out the hard way that it's somebody very close to you that's manipulative. One of the ways in which you deal with this is exactly what you do in your line of work. You got to talk to somebody about it. People think, oh, I can handle this on my own. They can't. However, it's often very empowering to speak with those who've also gone through the same kind of circumstance. In my line of work, we call those survivors. Human trafficking victims are often helped along towards the path to survivorhood by other survivors who have been through the exact same thing.

So too, those who've had the wool pulled over their eyes, those that have been manipulated, who have been fooled by somebody they thought really loved them, are sometimes very much helped by others who have been there. Sometimes reviewing the red flags will empower them not to fall forward again. Part of what I often teach in connection with these programs I give, because I do this as a speaking series, I've done it all over the world, and I'm going to give you some takeaways along the lines of how can you prevent yourself from being in a position that you're asking a question, what do you do once you recognize you're in that scenario. Maximize first impressions. In other words, don't trade in your reading glasses for rose colored glasses. You're wearing reading glasses when you first meet somebody or first go on a date. Perceive as much as you can when you are most objective.

Be wary of under exposure. If there's an area of somebody's life that they don't share with you like that unaccounted for hour or two after work, you want to know where they are. Why are they off the grid during certain times of the day or night? Most people are very transparent. Sometimes we make the joke TMI, as my students say, too much information, that's preferable to too little information because secrets breed suspicion. Time lapse photography is the next one. You notice I'm on a photography theme, which of course was a thing when I was growing up. Observe somebody's behavior over time. You can't tell what somebody's like if you just have a snapshot of their day. Maybe a continual snapshot, like you work with them. You only know what they're like when they're on the clock. You have to know what they're like in different settings and across time to be able to get a good read on them.

That would also be, I suppose, using a wider angle lens. You're looking at behavior in different settings, in different contexts. Solicit multiple exposures. Introduce people to your friends and family. You may trade in your reading glasses for rose colored, but I guarantee you, your family and friends will not. Anybody who has been second guessed by an objective sounding board, i.e., parents, spouse, family, good friends, colleagues, coworkers, they're going to tell it like it is because they care about you. We live in a day and age of vision enhancement. You can go online and look at social media. Sometimes you look at other dating sites if that's the way you met somebody and see how they describe themselves on other dating sites. Shocker, news flash, yes, people use multiple dating sites and don't go off of those sites just because they start dating you.

There's a lot of information available to make sure that you are not the one that ends up in that scenario where you are involved and are just now recognizing that you're involved with the wrong person. Now, let me temper all of that with what we'll call, I don't know if we really want to put a word on it, but the tendency we have to believe. It's easier to believe. It's cognitively more challenging and difficult to doubt. When we first meet somebody, we're disinclined to go online and look up and fact check everything. Nobody has the time for that, and we don't want to do it because we're sometimes enamored with a new love interest. Those are some of the reasons that even very smart people sometimes fall for the wrong individuals.

Amelia Worley:  Yeah. That's really helpful. Thank you. Lastly, do you have any advice or anything you want to say to someone regarding dangerous or deceptive people?

Wendy Patrick:  I think I just said it. I think that laundry list of ways that you would make sure you don't allow somebody to get too close to you until you've gone through all of those steps is probably the best way to prevent yourself from being in that scenario to begin with. The reason my book has all those chapters, it talks about all the different ways that we are captivated by somebody when we don't really know who they are. That's one of the reasons that there are just so many ways, counter intuition, when the optics don't match the topics, make sure you use all of your senses all of the time when you're getting to know somebody. That is the single best way to make sure you are not fooled.

The last chapter in my book, as you know, is green lights because I don't want anybody to think that my years as a prosecutor made me a skeptic. Some people are as good as they look. Go figure. I'm going to give a big amen to that, because that sometimes is what we find out when we get to know somebody better is it's authentic, it's genuine, and that creates a healthy, happy relationship.

Amelia Worley:  Well, that's great. Thank you so much, Dr. Patrick. It was wonderful having you on our interview series today.

Wendy Patrick:  Thank you for having me.

Please note: The views expressed by the interviewee are for educational and informational purposes only, are not meant to diagnose or treat any condition, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Seattle Anxiety Specialists, PLLC.


Editor: Jennifer (Ghahari) Smith, Ph.D.

Psychologist Larry Rosen on Technology & Parkinson's

An Interview with Psychologist Larry Rosen

Dr. Rosen is past Chair and Professor Emeritus of Psychology at California State University. He is a research psychologist and recognized as an international expert in the psychology of technology. Upon his diagnosis of Parkinson’s Disease, Larry Rosen has sought to educate, mentor and guide others utilizing both a humanistic and scientific approach.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Hey, thanks for joining us today! I'm Dr. Jennifer Ghahari, research director at Seattle Anxiety Specialists. I'd like to welcome with us Psychologist Larry Rosen. Dr. Rosen is past chair and professor emeritus of psychology at California State University. He is a research psychologist and recognized as an international expert in the psychology of technology.

He has given keynote speeches to Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations in the US and internationally. Larry has been featured extensively in national television, print, and radio media. Before we get started today, can you let our listeners know a little bit more about you as well as your current research endeavors?

Larry Rosen:  Sure. Thanks for having me, and I'm looking forward to chatting with you. I've been studying what I now call the psychology of technology since the early 1980s when there were no laptops, no smartphones, no nothing. You wanted to use the computer, you punched cards. You handed them to somebody who went into a very cold room, and they ran them. If you were lucky, you got to print-out this thick. If you weren't, you got a print-out that thin, and it meant there was an error, and you had to do it all over again.

What I was interested in way back then was something called computer phobia. And this is when computers were coming out. People were trying to use them. People were a little scared of them, a little frightened, a little weirded by them. Then we just kept changing what we were studying as life changed.

So, we went from computer phobia to technophobia, and we then went to tech and stress. Back I can't remember how long ago, I wrote a book called TechnoStress, which is funny because I reread it the other day. Most of what we said in my book was true, and yet it's probably 15 years old, if not more. We were looking at TechnoStress that you had at work, at home, and at play. So, it was invading everything.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Oh, wow.

Larry Rosen:  Then, since then, I've just kind of gone with the flow, whatever's interesting. I always tell people that whatever my kids are doing and my grandkids are doing is what I want to study.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Nice.

Larry Rosen:  I have a very low boredom threshold. So I'll study something for a while, and then I'll think I've got it. Then I'll move on and study something else. So I have worked my way to what I'm working on now. By the way, I'm retired, although retired just means I'm retired from teaching. I still do research, and I'm still very active on boards of directors for a lot of these groups.

One of the areas that I'm very interested in, I can only do this now that we've got newer technology, is what are people doing on their smartphones. As a corollary to that, what are teenagers doing? What are millennials doing? What are adults doing? We haven't really had the tools to do this until now, really till the iPhone got screen time and Android got digital wellbeing, I think they call it.

We were able to actually in the background have something track what people are doing, and what we get is an assortment of really valuable information. What I've done is had groups of teenagers and millennials at the end of their week when it pops up on screen time and says, "You've used 18 hours a day this week," or whatever the hour is, and then they can go back and get seven days' worth of data.

Because Apple doesn't allow them to download it, they take screenshots, they send us the screenshots. We then analyze them. What we're able to get from screen time is really quite a good picture of what people are doing. First of all, we get the gross amount of hours per week, hours per day. That sometimes can be telling if they're spending a lot, a lot of time on, particularly kids, perhaps video gamers, a variety of people who spend time on their phone.

We also get information on what apps they spent most time on. We get information on when they unlock their phone... Whether they have a face ID or a number ID or whatever or none, when they unlock their phone, what is the first app they tap? We also get how many times a day they unlock their phone, and we also get how many notifications they got each day and where they came from.

So, you can imagine we're compiling this set of data to be able to look at what everybody's doing out there because it's very clear. People are on their phones all the time. I mean, that's undeniable. I can't tell you how many times during the day I'll be at a stoplight, and there'll be a car in front of me. Light will turn green and be waiting and waiting. Oh, yeah. They're looking at their phone. Honk. "Oh, yeah. Sorry. I'll move on."

We take those 45 seconds and think we have to do something. We have to look at our phones, and we have to keep up. Otherwise, we think we're missing out on something, which is, by the way, why FOMO, fear of missing out, has developed because we have this sense that we're missing out on something.

Another attack that we tried to do, which, by the way, was a dismal failure, was to see if we could give teens and millennials strategies of how to treat their phone in a way that they might use less time on their phone. They might pick it up less often. We first tried giving them all sorts of choices. Some of them were take your icons for your social medias, put them in folders, scatter the folders all over the place so you don't know where they are thinking, "Well, they have to keep scrolling, and find the folders, and put the folders inside the folders, and whatever." That didn't work.

We tried to teach them how to meditate in order to be a little more calm when they approached their phone. That didn't work. We tried to teach them how to integrate technology into their work, such that instead of taking work breaks, they were taking tech breaks. That didn't work. I won't say it didn't work. It worked for the three weeks that we did it, and then as soon as we stopped, they went right back to where they were before. So then we tried it with fewer choices, but six weeks, and the same exact thing happened. They just went right back to where they were.

So, who's to blame for this? Because that's really what people are asking us. Who do we blame? Where do we point the finger at people who can maybe make changes? Obviously, one place to point your finger is at yourself. I think that's the first choice is you got here yourself. You didn't just stumble on it. You developed this habit, this way of treating your phone and in such a way that even if your phone is not in your pocket and you feel a little itch down there, you think that your phone is vibrating, which by the way is called pocket vibration syndrome, and is real. We experience it all the time.

The other thing we noticed is that when people walk around, say, from class to class at a campus or just walking around the campus, they are always carrying their phone in their hand because it is close. There is a point where women, girls used to put it in their bra, tuck it in there so that they really felt that vibration immediately, and then take a look, and see who's there.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Wow.

Larry Rosen:  The feeling is... It's when someone beckons you, whether it's instant message or whatever. When they beckon you, you feel compelled to go. I use that word, compelled, as part of the phrase, OCD, obsessive-compulsive, compelled, compulsive, behavior because a lot of what's going on is we are acting based on anxiety.

What are we anxious about? Well, we're anxious about missing out on things. We're anxious about not being Johnny on the spot when somebody texts you and texting them right back. We're anxious about a lot of things that take place on our device. Usually, it's the smartphone. Some people, it's the iPad, but in general, it's a smartphone, and in general, it's an iPhone. I will use iPhone as the whole generic category of Android and all those.

What we find is that we have lost control. What I mean by losing control is that we really don't understand why we're doing what we're doing. We just feel compelled, and that's the anxiety part. For example, take a typical teenager. They unlock their phone. They tap on an icon. We even have them take a picture of what icons are on the front screen. They're almost all the connection, text messaging, other kinds of messaging, instant messaging, lots of icons for social media. They're all there. They're all sitting there, waiting.

So, of course, you open your phone, the first thing you do is tap. The one you tap first may very well be the one you use the most, or it's the one that stands out the most, or it's the one that notified you. We have a compulsion to do that because if we don't, then chemicals in our brain and body start to build up and make us more, and more, and more anxious. So when we can't do it, we get anxious.

One of my colleagues, Dr. Nancy Cheever, did a really interesting study. You can actually see the study in action. If you go on my website and look at the very top where it says, "Anderson Cooper. Watch Anderson Cooper on 60 Minutes." So Anderson Cooper came into our lab and, Jenn, really nice guy. Came into our lab. Nancy sat him down at a desktop and said, "Okay, what we're going to do is show you a video and have you answer some questions later. We just want to put a couple of little things on your fingers," which now most people recognize one's an oximeter. Because of COVID, they know that.

The other one is more important. It's called galvanic skin response, which is the sweat on your skin. The sweat on your skin is equated to arousal, and arousal can be either positive arousal or a negative arousal. I mean, if I'm going to give a speech, my hands get very sweaty. It's not that I'm anxious about it. It's I'm excited. I'm excited to do it. But if I'm facing a really difficult thing that I have to do that's very uncomfortable, my hands might sweat, and that's anxiety.

So told Anderson, "Just put your phone upside down next to you," and then Dr. Cheever gave him about a minute or so of starting. She said, "Wait, wait, wait. We have to stop. That phone that you put down to the side is interacting with the two little clips, and so we're just going to need to move it behind you." She put it on a table behind him, and then she started texting him, but he could not answer.

She texted him four times. Every single time, galvanic skin response... spikes.... spikes... spikes four times in a row. We've done this with a lot of people, famous people, news, media, whatever. The interesting thing is it's always the same, except for one case, and I'll tell you the one case. What Anderson Cooper told us very clearly is, yeah, as soon as that beep went off, he felt a little rush in his body, which is galvanic skin response, and he felt like he was missing out on something, and he had to-

Jennifer Ghahari:  Wow.

Larry Rosen:  He felt like he had to check it right now, but he couldn't because we wouldn't let them. Now, interesting enough, people have very different ideas of why they need to check it. couldn't because we wouldn't let him now. Katie Couric, for example, felt like when her daughter was texting, she needed to pick it up quicker.

Steve Aoki, who I don't know if you know who he is, but he's a very famous DJ, and he travels with an army of people, all who monitor his social media, so he showed nothing because he didn't need to. His social media was being monitored by all of his team, and so he didn't show anything.

Two teenage girls, however, were brought in, and they showed not just spikes, but spikes. It was like, "Oh my God. What am I missing out on?" Part of it is because you know that if you get a text, for example, from someone, and you don't respond immediately, they'll text you back and say, "Are you mad at me," or, "Why aren't you answering my text," or something.

This is part of the problem, and I think this is the main part of the problem, by the way, is anxiety. We simply build up this anxiety over, and over, and over again, and the chemicals build up. Then our job is to do whatever we're anxious about so that the chemicals get reabsorbed.

For most people, cortisol is a pretty well-known chemical in our body and our brain. And we know that cortisol is the fight or flight chemical, but it's also in little amounts, not fight or flight at all. It wakes you up. Cortisol is what wakes you up in the morning. You get a little drip of cortisol. During the day, you get cortisol, and it kind of keeps your level of intensity at a pretty good state.

Another interesting study, not by our lab, but another interesting one is that somebody took... They recruited families with a mother, a father, and a teenager. Then what they did is beforehand, they had them fill out all sorts of questionnaires. How many times a day do you check your social media? How much time do you spend on social media? How much time do you spend on email and all sorts of various questions?

They went to sleep. As soon as they woke up, they took a Q-tip, took a swab, saliva swab, put it in a jar, sealed it, put it in the refrigerator, and then eventually sent it into a lab that records how much cortisol, right? They did it right when they woke up, and they did it 30 minutes later. Then they did it other times during the day, but that's not the point.

The interesting point is they were looking at what would cause your cortisol to jump from when you wake up to 30 minutes later. Now, nothing with moms, nothing. No use in general. No use of technology specifically predicted an increase. The dads' email did. Those dads that used more emails showed a bigger response in 30 minutes, which makes sense because they're working, and they get a lot of emails, and first thing in the morning, they got to check them to make sure what's going on.

For teenagers, the only thing that predicted an increase was those who use more social media. So you can already see this building up. You wake up, and you're already anxious. Even the first 30 minutes, you get more and more anxious. You just get more and more anxious. So the anxiety can be very debilitated, and particularly because, I mean, this is not an unknown fact, you can't have a lot of anxiety in you all the time. I mean, it would make you crazy. I mean, if you're always anxious all the time, they'd probably lock you up someplace because anxiety's reached a big peak.

And so, what I have always been interested in is trying to figure out ways to help people be aware of this, first of all, and then figure out a way for them to reduce their anxiety because the anxiety gets in the way of everything. It gets in the way of your thinking, your choice of attention, your multitasking ability, pretty much everything. It all takes place, by the way, right here in the prefrontal cortex, but the anxiety chemicals are buried in the brain and in the body. And in the brain, they're typically right behind here in the amygdala, which then measures your emotions and a bunch of other things.

So, my interest has really moved over the years to trying to figure out what is going on and what can we do to fix it. The first part's easy. The second part's not easy because as I said before, we tried to fix it, tried our hardest. Couldn't do it. We tried. Now, that's not to say that there aren't strategies to do it. I have a lot of strategies that I recommend to people, not a lot, but that we know work. But we're still facing this anxiety reaction all the time.

Jennifer Ghahari:  For, I think, a delight for our listeners, we actually are going to hear about two topics from you because it seems that you're kind of budding into a specialist into another field as well. Unfortunately, you were diagnosed with Parkinson's disease a few years ago, and you have started researching this and writing about your own experiences through a blog.

So, I was wondering if you could talk and share with our listeners a little bit about that. What are some of the first signs that you experienced? Especially as a researcher, you're going to have, I think, a different take on this type of diagnosis than someone without your skills.

Larry Rosen:  Right. And Parkinson's is a disease. It is a confusing disease because you can exhibit myriad symptoms, and no two people exhibit the same symptoms at all.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Oh, wow.

Larry Rosen:  I noticed, for example, that when I walked, my left arm did not swing. When we walk, our arms swing back and forth, back and forth. Yeah, they swing. My left arm did not swing, which, I mean, it's a little strange. I also noticed when I was brushing my teeth that my arm was rigid. My left, my other arm was rigid and not moving also.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Wow.

Larry Rosen:  And didn't really know what it was, but I knew I'd better have an MRI to figure it out. Had an MRI done, and the MRI came up pretty clean in the sense that it really didn't show the Parkinson's because it's hard to do that, but Parkinson's is a biochemical issue. The chemical there, which is interesting, is dopamine.

Now, when we talk about kids being addicted to technology, for example, being addicted, dopamine is the main chemical we talk about. It's also the main chemical that those... part and parcel of Parkinson's. So one of the nice things is they can measure... Technology's so amazing. They can measure with a device sort of like a CAT scan or an MRI, but a simpler one, how much dopamine you have in your brain. They print you a nice, pretty picture, and the pretty picture has this orange-ish stuff showing the active dopamine. It usually looks like two little circles with commas coming out. If you have the requisite amount of dopamine, that's what you'll see. Mine had no commas-

Jennifer Ghahari:  Oh, interesting.

Larry Rosen:  ... just two circles. So that was pretty interesting. I am a scientist as you can tell from the science t-shirt. I am a scientist. This one says, "Science doesn't care what you believe, by the way," which I think is a good model for people to understand.

I had been looking at dopamine anyway, particularly with video gamers, because it's such an important part of what happens when you're addicted to video games, is this drive for more dopamine, this drive for more dopamine. You got to have it. You got to have it. You got to have it.

Well, so Parkinson's is a dopamine-related problem, and I started thinking about what to do about it. Now, you have to know that I'm a very open person, so I tell everybody everything, and so what I decided to do is to blog about it. I've been writing a blog for Psychology Today for years and years, and not very often, just maybe... Well, they yell at me if I don't do it every 90 days, so try to do it three or four times a year.

I like writing about technology because that's what I do. It's been writing about new generations, and kids, and video games, and all that stuff. All of a sudden, I'm sitting here looking at Parkinson's, and I go, "Well, why don't I write about Parkinson's?" So the first one I wrote called was called something like A Scientist Grapples with Parkinson's Disease because that's what I was grappling with.

I laid out in there some of the symptoms I have. I mean, for example, one's called micrographia. You write very tiny. Your writing gets tinier, and tinier, and tinier. There are other symptomologies that show up. Different people have different ones. Tremors. I have tremors in my left hand, but not my right, which was interesting, but that's not uncommon. Most people just have them on one side or the other to start. Sometimes they migrate.

So, I'm sitting here with a person sitting on my shoulder on this side, being the scientist, looking into it, and the person on this side being the person experiencing it. I thought I'm kind of in a unique place to be able to talk to people about what I'm feeling, and so I wrote that one. I wrote one the second year, and I just posted one for the third year a little late, mostly because I'm doing it kind of for me, my family, my kids, people I know.

I've seen symptoms come and go, more come than go, unfortunately. As you get deeper into Parkinson's and you start reading the research on Parkinson's, there are no two people who have the same Parkinson's. It just isn't. It isn't. Once it's diagnosed, you've can look at things. My neurologist has me always walk down the hall, watches my arm, whether it swings or not, but also watches how I turn to come back. Parkinson's people turn like this in little steps to turn around. I turn... I literally swivel like a ballet dancer. These are some common symptoms that you can see.

One of the interesting things is Parkinson's is a balance issue to people. People who have Parkinson's often fall, and that's really one of the major problems with... And people, by the way, do not die of Parkinson's. They die of something else that Parkinson's brought on, often Alzheimer's, often some form of dementia, often some other neurological problem, fall, hurt themselves. At the very end, you have trouble swallowing.

I just kept thinking, "What can I do to help myself?" Because part of the reading I found was, well, there's this boxing class, and boxing is good for your balance. I went to this boxing class. I joined a boxing class called Rock Steady Boxing. It's made for Parkinson's patients.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Wow.

Larry Rosen:  It's a franchise. People open their own little gyms or use other gyms. Couple times a week, I was going to this boxing class. It was great fun, by the way, hitting a bag, bam. Just a picture of somebody you don't like, bam.

What happened out of that is... First, the pandemic started, and so you can't be in a closed gym with a bunch of people, but there were a group of us. At that point, there was a group of four of us who'd kind of gotten to know each other, just chatting here and there. We decided to form our own little support group. Now, this is the pandemic, so every week, we met on Zoom. For a year-plus, we met on Zoom.

Then we decided to branch out and meet out in the open where we had lots of fresh air coming and everything. That was an important step, I think, because what that said to me is support is really important. Now, obviously, I get support from my family. I get support from my wife, soon to be my wife. We've been together for 18 years. We're finally getting married.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Oh, congratulations.

Larry Rosen:  Don't ask me why because I have no idea why we decided to do it, but 18 years seems fine. So they lend support, but it's a different kind of support when you get it from somebody who's experiencing the same thing. We talk about medications. We're all on different medications. We all have different symptomologies. One of the people walked in like this all the time. Why? Because he wasn't taking these meds.

Other people would talk about varying their meds. Their neurologist would let them take maybe a pill in the morning and another half if they felt uncomfortable. The medication, by the way, is exactly the same medication they've been using forever. It's called levodopa, which they always talked about that with Muhammad Ali and various other people who had Parkinson's. Levodopa is the drug of choice. It's actually called Sinemet because it's combined with another drug so you don't get nauseous and constipated, I think, are the two bad things for that.

I started on a very low dose, and my hands shook like this. Also, interestingly enough, my thumb would often stick to my finger, and I would have to pry it off. I've never met anybody with that symptom, by the way. It'd just stick.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Oh, wow.

Larry Rosen:  I go, "That's weird." Well, I pry it off, and then it's fine.

I have had to increase my Sinemet, my medication quite a bit. The maximum you're supposed to take is 2,000 milligrams. I take 900. My doctor swears that's fine. I'm in a great range. Don't worry about it. We're really good. That took away all my tremors. I rarely have tremors, unless I get stressed. If I get stressed, the tremors come right back.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Oh.

Larry Rosen:  Yeah. Because stress-

Jennifer Ghahari:  Even with medication?

Larry Rosen:  Yeah. Stress exacerbates the symptomology that we ha, particularly the tremors. Stress just knocks the tremors back in. Along the way, I mean, I've experienced it. I've written what I've experienced. There's cognitive deficits that I have. There's physical deficits that I have.

The interesting thing is the cognitive deficits are hard to deal with now because I'm 72. How many of the cognitive things that happen to me, like not being able to remember names, happen because I'm 72, not because I have Parkinson's? So, trying to disentangle those is very difficult. You just have to kind of accept that they're either/or and talk to your neurologist about what they may be.

Then over time, I mean, the symptoms come and go. I have some interesting new ones. One's called REM behavioral disorder, which is when your REM sleep, we have movements. When we sleep, Parkinson's patients, those who have this disorder, will act out their dreams. I will pound things. My wife told me last night that she woke me up because she said I was just pounding and talking.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Oh, wow.

Larry Rosen:  I was just literally acting it out. That's all again caused by the dopamine.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Wow. So in addition to these physical and cognitive implications, what about comorbid mental health conditions? Are anxiety and depression common or any other...

Larry Rosen:  Yeah, all of them. Anxiety and depression are common. In fact, when I was prescribed my first Sinemet, I was also prescribed an antidepressant-

Jennifer Ghahari:  Right off the bat?

Larry Rosen:  Right. Because my neurologist said, "You're going to be depressed for a while. Sorry." Then as things went on, I also was prescribed an antianxiety because certain things were making me anxious. So you have to balance the mental health aspects, but they're always going to be there. There's just no way you can skate through this and just go, "Ugh, I'm not feeling bad at all." It's depressing.

It's depressing particularly because the way they show Parkinson's is more end-state Parkinson's Michael J. Fox is not the Parkinson's norm. He's trembling all over the place, and his speech is problematic, and his throat closes up a bit. Yeah, he's not the norm. The norm are people who are like me. They have some symptoms. They try to get rid of the symptoms.

Part of what I'm trying to do in my life is give back because I taught for 45 years, a college profession, and I've done research, and I've participated out there, and given speeches, and all sorts of stuff. I felt like I needed to give back what I knew. Part of it came from our little support group.

I live in San Diego County. There's an organization here called Parkinson's Association of San Diego. There's Parkinson's associations everywhere. One of the things they did is open a mentor program, and so I immediately put my name in to be a mentor. I suggested that I'd rather mentor newly diagnosed people. Interestingly enough, I haven't really mentored any newly diagnosed people, but I've mentored a bunch of people who are really like me, kind of older, scared, concerned, everybody with different symptoms.

I talk to this one guy every week or so on the phone now. When I started talking to him, his mouth movements were not very good. He was a very slow speaker because of it. Over time, it's been interesting because he's now developing speech better, and so he and I can have a conversation where I'm not just sitting there waiting for the next word to come out.

Everybody's different. That's what's so interesting. Everybody's different. I feel like coming from a scientific tradition, I was really raised as a statistician, what that allows me to do is to look at the research and decide whether the research is good or maybe only suggestive. That's an important thing, I think, because research is tricky. Over the 40-some-odd years, plus graduate school, that I was doing research, there are tricks of the trade. There are ways to make a study good. There are ways to make a study bad. There's ways to make conclusions that shouldn't be there.

So, I read those things voraciously. People send them to me, and I read them. I don't talk about them on my blog because I don't want to shame anybody. But I do talk about with new people, here's some new things that are coming up, and I do talk in interviews like this about here's some of the things that might expect.

By and large, it is being diagnosed more, which I think is very interesting. Part of the reason why, by the way, it's diagnosed more is because now we have the testing, the DAT scan to really test it, and we have MRIs that are better. We have tests of fives or something the MRI takes, which is really great stuff, the fine brain stuff.

I will keep writing about it, and I will keep letting people know the symptomology that I have. By the way, because of my cognition problems, I did take a whole neuro workup. I just got the report, and I read part of the report. There are some neurological deficiencies, not horrible ones, but there are some neurological deficiencies, which is helpful for me to understand.

Interestingly enough, attention is one of the major ones right now, and I have a lot of trouble attending. I used to be a great multitasker. Don't do it. Can't do it. I used to think quickly. Sometimes my thoughts get a little muddled, and I have to kind of hold them inside until I get them out. I miss things. I see something on TV, for example, and somebody will say, "What did that person say?" Oh, I don't know. I don't know because my attention waned. So I'm able to say all those things, and I hope people who need it will read it.

Jennifer Ghahari:  So those issues that you just spoke of, how do you know what the difference is between a symptom of Parkinson's versus just normal aging-

Larry Rosen:  That's the million-dollar-

Jennifer Ghahari:  Or there's no real way to know, right?

Larry Rosen:  Million-dollar question. No, there's no real way to know. The interesting thing is I think it's good that there's no real way to know because as we get older, those aging symptoms will be there as well as the Parkinson's. Who cares whether it's aging or not? It's still interacting with your Parkinson's.

If I have trouble attending things, it's going to interact with my Parkinson's. If I have trouble remembering names because I can't pull them out of my hippocampus or whatever, it's going to be... Whether it's old age or Parkinson's, it doesn't really matter quite honestly. I mean, most of the people who get Parkinson's are older, so it's all mushed together. How can you tell?

But one of the things I do talk to people about is that they should be very careful to have someone watching over them because part of what happens and because this is dopamine... By the way, we always think of dopamine as the pleasure chemical, but it controls motor motions. And so if you have less dopamine in your body, you have poorer motor motion. One of the first questions the neurologist will ask, "Have you fallen in the last X amount of time?" Because that's a real strong indicator of potential Parkinson's problems.

So, I try to walk more. I try to make sure my balance is there. I also have a spiral staircase in my house, and I'll hold on. At times, I'll take two feet on one step, make sure that I'm not going to fall. I've not fallen yet, but I've definitely stumbled a lot and just been able to grab myself, but I've missed the bottom stair of our stairwell before a couple times. I stumble. Luckily, there's a wall right up there, so I put my hands against the wall. Saved my life.

Those are kind of all things that are individual. The anxiety, by the way, is pretty common. The depression is very common. And so from a psychological point of view, those are the kind of things. Yeah, am I depressed because I'm older? Am I anxious because whatever? Those things are also all tied up in one.

Interestingly enough, because of my work with technology, I'm able to talk about the biochemistry of it because of all the stuff that I've done with the biochemistry of the brain with technology. It's a pretty natural step, I found, to go from looking at that kind of biochemistry to looking at the biochemistry of Parkinson's.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Talking about social support and how important that is, you mentioned family, friends. You're part of this boxing group, which morphed into just a social support group. You're also mentoring people. In one of your blogs, you said something like, "I'm not complaining. I'm just reporting." I'm wondering, especially when you're trying to be in a supportive type of setting, whether you're talking to family or in a group, how many people feel like they are actually complaining and they might want to hold back what they're feeling? Is that common or are people more comfortable to talk about things?

Larry Rosen:  From my experience with Parkinson's patients, they are embarrassed. In our little group of four... ended up being five. Now, one passed away, so it's four of them.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Sorry.

Larry Rosen:  We don't meet anymore in the boxing because the person running the boxing program is not vaccinated. I mean, none of us... Even with Parkinson's, you don't want to be anywhere near that stuff that might have an effect on you. There's not been proven a link, but it's still there.

I think that the support you get is the way that you're able to judge aging versus not aging. In our group, there are people in their 60s, 70s, and one is in his 80s. We all reacted differently. I told everybody because that's me. One person only told her husband. That was it. Hadn't told her whole family that she has it. Another person told selective people. I think it's important to be able to see people in a similar situation as you are. I don't know if you know this, but Alan Alda has Parkinson's.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Oh, I didn't know.

Larry Rosen:  It's funny. He's actually done a lot, and I like what he's been working on. He was in a movie. The movie was the one where Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver were getting divorced. He was playing Adam's attorney, and so they're sitting at a round table, and you see his right arm is down to the side, and his left arm is here. Then every once in a while, he brings his right arm up, and it's shaking a little, so he put it down. It's a little bit more... That wasn't maybe part of the script, and so they made it as innocuous as possible, but if you go on his Twitter, he talks about it a lot.

Having people do that helps normalize it. I think that's going to be real important for people. I mean, Parkinson's sounds like a really crazy, bad disease, which, I mean, on the whole, it is, but it's not as scary as we always thought it was. We're not going to be Michael J. Foxes. I mean, because he literally has a bad case of the tremors on both sides, as well as speech problems, and all sorts of things. He's at the end, and some of the people I know are spread out in there. I would consider myself maybe not at the other end, but sort of third of the way in because I don't tremor much.

Jennifer Ghahari:  And you were diagnosed how long ago?

Larry Rosen:  August 2019.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Okay. So you have had the disease for a few years now.

Larry Rosen:  Okay. So what's interesting is, yes, most people have Parkinson's for a lot longer than they know. One of the first symptoms is loss of sense of smell, and not everybody again, but it's a pretty common symptom. I lost my sense of smell, most of it, 10 years ago, which they would say is because you have Parkinson's.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Wow.

Larry Rosen:  I don't know how long my left arm wasn't moving because I wasn't paying attention to it. My guess is it was a long time before I was diagnosed. The only reason I was diagnosed is because I felt like there were some things that were just different that I didn't understand neurologically.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Wow. That's great. And I appreciate that you're coming on here, and speaking with us, and showing, as you're saying, a more normalized version of Parkinson's, that not everybody's going to have the absolute extreme version, especially right off the bat. So, if anything, this is going to be a really huge help, I think.

Larry Rosen:  Michael J. Fox has had it for like 30 years and-

Jennifer Ghahari:  Right. Yeah, it's been a long time.

Larry Rosen:  Yeah. What I think in the long run is the diagnosis is going to be made more often. By the way, there's all sorts of sub-varieties of Parkinson's, essential tremors. There's a Lewy bodies part. There's a whole bunch of little subcategories. We can have those or full-out Parkinson's. They have different symptoms and different effects.

I think because of our technology now, and because we're just more aware of it... I mean, Michael J. Fox is out there. Other people are out there talking about Parkinson's. Because of that awareness, I think more people then go to the doctor and will be diagnosed. We'll get better ways of diagnosing them, and we'll get better ways of treating them.

There are a tremendous number of research studies going on right now on other treatments other than drug treatments. For example, there's something called DBS, direct brain stimulation, where you literally have a little thing here, and it stimulates... It's like a nine-volt battery and stimulates the prefrontal cortex, which has been shown to help with your thinking and your attention abilities if one of the symptoms is you're losing your attention.

I mean, I have high hopes that the more we see out there, the more we'll understand out there, but it's scary. I mean, I would tell anybody that has Parkinson's. The first thing I would say is, "I bet you're scared." The answer is always, "Yeah, I'm scared to death." They have a reason to be. I mean, it's not a death sentence, but in general, people who get Parkinson's, they live maybe 20, 30 years with Parkinson's, or it can go really quickly. You just don't know.

Again, the medications are much better. The medications are better. There's lots of other meds besides the one I'm taking. The one I'm taking just is the base one you start on. If that doesn't work, they can give you other meds on top of it, or interestingly enough, the meds stop working typically after... I think Sinemet, they say, in general, stops working maybe every about five years with that. You have to find something else.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Yeah. I think, as you said, it's almost the fear of the unknown. That's the biggest drive of anxiety for people, and so I think things like this where you're helping disseminate information and just experiences is a really huge help for people.

Larry Rosen:  And one of the things that I would recommend is... The Parkinson's Association of San Diego has done a really nice service for people, and what they've done is they've had professionals record very short videos, we know our attention span is way too short these days, eight, 10-min videos on different symptoms and different kind of things that happen. It's just pasd.org, I think. They're free. You can go look at the videos. There's probably 30 or 40 of them, maybe even more.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Wow.

Larry Rosen:  The PA for my doctor does a few, and other people who know what they're doing do a few. Then my doctor, my neurologist is involved in lots of research too along with it. So I get to kind of eavesdrop and hear what she's finding. She talks on there about her research. People talk about the REM behavioral disorder and what it means. People talk about how to know when your medication's not working. So they're just little blurbs. I encourage people... I think it's a really great idea to just go there and harvest what we can.

Now, having said that, when I was diagnosed, I did no reading. In retrospect, I was scared to death and I didn't want to know. Everybody else read for me. My kids reported. My wife reported. Everybody read for me. Then at some point after about six months, I found that I was able to dive in and see what's there. Also, I mean, I encourage people to not be afraid to say, "I'm afraid."

Jennifer Ghahari:  Wow. Thank you. So psychologist, who's an expert in technology, someone who's battling Parkinson's, do you have any parting words of advice or anything else that you'd like to share with our listeners?

Larry Rosen:  Well, on both sides, I can share a lot about the technologist stuff, but I think keep track of what you're feeling. If you need to, take a diary. Keep track of it in a diary. Mark down when something odd happens, something weird happens. It may be Parkinson's. It may be not. At least, it's noted.

Don't spend a lot of time reading research because it's in its infancy. We're talking about really the last 10 years maybe that there's been this new emphasis on Parkinson's, even though Michael J. Fox had his foundation for quite a while, but it's pretty much a new phenomenon. When you say to somebody, "Oh, I have Parkinson's," say, "Oh, my uncle had Parkinson's, and my mother's sister had Parkinson's." Everybody knows somebody that had Parkinson's.

And to just realize it's not a death sentence, but you also need to kind of be aware of your body and your mind because you can just go on gleefully unaware, and then the symptoms will definitely get worse left untreated. What you want to do is try to get the best treatment possible and really trust that...

You're not doing this through your family doctor or your internist. You're doing this through a neurologist who knows Parkinson's, whether it takes... Even if you have some of these symptoms, and you try to get an appointment and you can't get an appointment for four months, don't worry about it. Nothing's going to much change in four months maybe.

Keep track of your symptoms. Keep track of everything. Don't study the research on it. Go look at how you can diagnose Parkinson's. There's lots of things that talk about how you walk or do this. (Moves his hands) My right is faster than my left.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Oh.

Larry Rosen:  Typing, my right is better than my left. I can't type anymore. I mean, I can type. It's just I make lots of mistakes. Keep track of your symptoms. Keep track of them, and write them down. Make sure that you are being as dispassionate as you can, but yet accept the support of other people. Don't ever let somebody tell you you're going to die of Parkinson's because they will. They'll say, "Oh, my uncle had it for 20 years and then died."

Jennifer Ghahari:  Right. Well, thank you so much. If anybody wants to read more about Dr. Rosen's research or read more about his blog, you can do so at www.drlarryrosen.com, and we'll have that link on our site.

Larry Rosen:  And the doctor is just D-R. Mention that maybe.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Oh, perfect. Thank you. Yeah.

Larry Rosen:  Please feel free to message me too. I mean, I enjoy talking to people about this because I think I can maybe not... Don't I'm a great helper, but I'm a pretty good listener.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Aw.

Larry Rosen:  And I think that's important.

Jennifer Ghahari:  It does make all the difference, definitely.

Larry Rosen:  Yeah.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Thank you so much, Dr. Rosen, and we wish you all the best.

Larry Rosen:  Thanks. Thanks for having me on.

Jennifer Ghahari:  Thank you.

Please note: The views expressed by the interviewee are for educational and informational purposes only, are not meant to diagnose or treat any condition, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Seattle Anxiety Specialists, PLLC.


Editor: Jennifer (Ghahari) Smith, Ph.D.

Therapist Terrence Real on Relationships

An Interview with Therapist Terrence Real

Terry Real, LICSW is a family psychotherapist, best-selling author, internationally-recognized speaker. He is a senior faculty member of the Family Institute of Cambridge, MA and the founder of the Relational Life Institute (RLI), which offers workshops for couples, individuals, and parents who wish to develop deeper connections in their relationships.

Amelia Worley:  Thanks for joining us today for this installment of the Seattle Psychiatrist Interview Series. I'm Amelia Worley, a research intern at Seattle Anxiety Specialists. I'd like to welcome Mr. Terry Real. Mr. Real is the family psychotherapist, best-selling author, and teacher. He is also the founder of the Relational Life Institute, which offers workshops for couples, individuals, and parents who wish to develop deeper connections in their relationships. Mr. Real has numerous publications on relationships, depression, and psychological issues that men face, including his upcoming publication, “Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship.” Before we get started, Mr. Real, can you please let us know a little more about yourself and what made you interested in studying relationships?

Terry Real:  Oh gosh, there's an old saying, a psychotherapist are people who need to be in therapy 40 hours a week. I first became an individual therapist 40 years ago, and I think I did in order to gather the skills I needed to have the conversation with my depressed, violent, loving father that I needed to have in order to free myself from the legacy and not become him. And I did. I learned how to be an individual therapist and I healed a lot of my trauma. I then went on to family therapy and couples therapy, literally in order to learn how to have a relationship. I come from a really dysfunctional family, we all come from a really dysfunctional culture, and I didn't know how to do it. So, I became a professional, and then in 1995, I published a book called, “I Don't Want to Talk About It,” which was the first book ever written about male depression. And it did real well to a lot of depressed men in America. And I was getting calls all over the country, "Can you help me with blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah?"

And what I began to realize was that moving men out of depression was synonymous, in my mind, with opening their hearts and reconnecting them. The way we turn boys into men traditionally in this culture is through disconnection. Feminism has worked for 50 years on girls and women's disempowerment. The womb for boys is disconnection. We teach them to cut off from vulnerability, from their emotion, from others. And I began to believe that the healing move for boys and men is reconnection, connecting them to their hearts and to others. And so my work was grounded in the restoration of relationality with men. And I began to feel like the best way to do that is in their current relationships. So, I began to invite partners and, in some cases children, into the therapy room to teach these guys how to live relational lives, how to live lives of authentic connection to themselves and to others. And so the work naturally gravitated away from doing individual therapy to working to transform people individually, but through their relationships and the restoration of relational capacities.


Amelia Worley:  So to begin, can you describe what relational life therapy is and what methods it uses to help couples in therapy? Additionally, how is it different from regular couples therapy?

Terry Real:  We break a lot of rules. Let's see if I can name some. The relational life therapy, first of all, we're not neutral. And when I was a couples therapists, the corner rule was thou shall not take sides. If you took sides, you had to go to your supervisor and talk about your mother for a while. We're not neutral. Some issues are 50/50, but some are not. Some are 70/30, some are 99/1. And specifically, I came out of it through my work with men and through a feminist perspective. Women across the West are asking for more emotional intimacy from us guys, then traditional masculinity raises us to deliver. The essence of traditional masculinity is invulnerability. The more invulnerable you are, the more manly you are. And women are asking men to move into vulnerability, to move into their emotions, to open their hearts, to be less defensive, to be more sharing. In other words, to have a broader, a repertoire of relational skills.

So we agree with that. We take sides. We side with the person who is asking for more intimacy in the relationship, and the way you're going about asking for it may not be very skilled. I'm not saying women are angels, but the demand for increased intimacy is good for us. And so we're not neutral. We're perfectly capable of saying, "Mrs. Jones, you're a nut and Mr. Jones, you're an even bigger nut, and here's why, let me tell you what's going on." The other thing is that we're lovingly confrontational. There are three phases to relational life work. The first, I call: waking up the client. This is where you hold the mirror up to the client about what their maladaptive responses may be born of childhood trauma and adaptation that are blowing their own foot off. This is what you're doing that will never get you more of what you want.

And the confrontation is, I call it: joining through the truth. Anybody can club somebody with the truth, but this confrontation is so loving, so empathic, so on the side of the person you're talking to, that they feel closer to the therapist through the confrontation rather than more resistant and distant. So the first phase is waking up the client. The second phase is
trauma work. This is where that adaptation came from. You were adapting to something. So I do deep trauma work in the presence of the partner, another rule we break. We don't find trauma work out to an individual therapist, we do deep trauma work, inner child work while the other partner is sitting there. There's some contraindications, but if there're going to be vicious or whatever, but by and large... Excuse me. Sorry. But by and large, it's much more powerful to have the partner who's been on the receiving end of the person's immature adaptations, see where the whole story comes from. It opens their heart.

And then the third phase is: teaching. This is what you've done wrong, this is where that maladaption comes from, and this is what right would look like. And I think it's the combination of all three of these, confrontation, deep trauma work, and skill building that produces transformational change quickly. So that's what we do. We are not neutral, we judiciously self-disclose. We're not a blank screen. This is not transference-based therapy. And another thing is that we're at least as interested in grandiosity as we are in shame. For 50 years, psychotherapy has dwelled on helping people come up from the one down of shame. In RLT, we're also interested in helping people come down from the superiority contempt entitlement of grandiosity. And I believe as a couple's therapists, you must be able to help people come up from the one down and also down from the one up. Doing one without the other is insufficient. So there are a lot of things that are very distinct about relational life work.


Amelia Worley:  I really like that. Can you identify any common myths society believes about relationships?

Terry Real:  Well, my new book, if I can do this, “Us”, being released June 7th, it is all about taking on what I call the toxic culture of individualism. And what we know from interpersonal neurobiology these days is that the idea of a free standing individual is mythic. We don't self-regulate, we co-regulate one another all day long. Our central nervous system is not designed to be alone and self-cystic. We are designed to be in relationship. And this whole book is about shifting from an individualistic patriarchal model that says we're above nature and in control of it, whether the nature we're above and in control of is our bodies, “I've got to lose 10 pounds",” our thinking, “I've got to be less negative,” our partners, our kids, society, the world at large. And the whole book is about trading in that mythic idea of power over dominion, for a much more realistic idea of collaboration and cooperation.

When we move out of you and me, win, lose adversarial thinking into the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that can remember that we're a team, that this is a relationship that we are in a whole, all of the terms that we live with shift. For example, from a relational perspective, the question who's right and who's wrong is: who cares? What matters is how are we going to work in a way that's going to work for both of us? And so the first order of business is shifting out of what I call you and me consciousness, which is subcortical, triggered by trauma about survival into what I call the wise adult part of us, prefrontal cortex, the part of us that can remember the gestalt, the whole, that we are not striving above our marriage, for example, but we're in it. I call this replacing the hubris of power and control with ecological wisdom and humility.

Our relationships are our biospheres. We're not above them, we're in them. You can choose to pollute your biosphere by having a
temper tantrum over here, but you'll breathe in that pollution by your partner's withdrawal or lack of generosity over there. You and they are connected in an ecosystem. And once we wake up to an ecological systemic consciousness, this isn't about you versus me in some power struggle. This is about how we are going to operate together in a way that works for both of us, then a whole range of new skills and new ways of thinking open up to us.

Amelia Worley:  So, going off of that further, how does that shift from individualistic thinking to relational thinking. How does that heal problems in relationships then?

Terry Real:  Well, it is the difference between, for example, "You're a reckless driver." "No, I'm not." "Yes, you are." "No, I'm not." "Yes, you are." "No, I'm not." I call this objectivity battles. Who's right and who's wrong? And instead, think of this, "Honey, you may be a fine aggressive driver. I'm not arguing that, but I want you to know that when you tailgate and change lanes and speed, none of which you deny, I get myself very nervous sitting next to you. I know you love me. It would be the world to me if as a favor to me, you could tone down your driving so that I could feel safer in the car. Would you do that for me?" And the person next to them goes, "Sure, I'll do that for you." Problem solved. Are you an aggressive driver or not? That could go on for 50 years. “Could you tone down your driving for my sake so I could feel safer?” “Sure, I’ll do that for you, Honey.” Problem solved in 10 minutes. That's the difference between approaching an interactional problem individualistically and relationally.

Amelia Worley:  Okay. So also in your book, “Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship”, you talk about how healing of the self can occur in relationships. You mentioned that this is not done by controlling our partner, but rather by coming to terms with the ignored parts of ourselves. Can you expand on that idea more?

Terry Real:  Well, we all marry our unfinished business, we all marry our mothers and fathers. Falling in love is the conviction that this person is going to heal me, or at the very least, I'm going to avoid all that nastiness that I grew up in. The real relationship comes when you realize that your partner is precisely designed to throw you into the soup. Now, that doesn't mean you're in a bad relationship, it means you're in a truly intimate relationship. What matters is what do you do once you're in the soup? Now, most of us in this culture will try and heal ourselves by getting from that partner what we didn't get, and by often retaliating when we don't get it.

The new news comes when we deal with our own inner wounding and our own adaptation. We stop asking the partner to heal us, but as we move from these triggered automatic adaptive responses to a more thoughtful adult response, we do something different in the moment and they do something different in the moment, and that heals our trauma. Not that they get it to us, but that something different happens between us because I have done something different inside my mind. Can I give you an example?


Amelia Worley:  Yeah, definitely.

Terry Real:  The essence here is understanding what I call the adaptive child part of us. Subcortical automatic response fight, flight, fix about survival. And when we feel unsafe, the autonomic nervous system scans our bodies four times a second, am I safe? Am I safe? Am I safe? If the answer is yes, we say seated in the prefrontal cortex, we're here and now we can be thoughtful. If the answer is no, I feel I'm in danger, which has everything to do with being trauma triggered. Then I will click into whatever I use as a kid to adapt to that danger. And I will repetitively do that in my relationship, even though it never gets me what I want. The essence of this book is about how to cultivate the skill, the wisdom of in the heated moment, shifting from that automatic response, what Dan Siegel calls the reactive brain, to the wise adult prefrontal cortex, the integrated brain.

So let me give you an example. A guy comes to me on the brink of divorce. I specialized in couples on the brink of divorce. He's a chronic liar. He's the kind of guy I say to him, "The sky is blue," he says, "t's aquamarine." He won't give it to me. So quickly, I identify what we call in relational life therapies, his relational stance. His stance is evasion. This guy has a black belt in evasion. So when you think relationally, you can figure this out. It seems brilliant when you're not thinking relationally, but I have a saying, show me the thumbprint and I'll tell you about the thumb. If he's evading, the question is as a child, who did he have to evade? And so, I ask him, "Whatever the adaptation is, what were you adapting to?"

So I say to him, "Who tried to control you growing up?" Brilliant. His father. "Tell me about it." Military man, how he ate, how he drank, how he dressed, everything. I said, "How did you deal with this controlling father?" He says, with a smile, that's the smile of resistance, he says, "I lied." Brilliant, brilliant little boy. I teach my students, always be respectful of the exquisite intelligence of the adaptive child. You did exactly what you needed to do back then to preserve your integrity and grow, lying. Brilliant. Only I have another saying, adaptive then, maladaptive now. You're not that four year old boy, your wife is not your father. So we surface all of those.


They come back two weeks later, it's an absolutely true story, and they're holding hands, "We're cured." "Okay, tell me." She sent him to the grocery store for 12 things, true to form, he comes back with 11. She says to him, "Where's the pumpernickel?" He says, "Every muscle and nerve in my body was screaming to say they were out of it. And on this day, in this moment, I took a breath, I looked my wife in the eye and I said, I forgot. And she burst into tears, true story, and said, 'I've been waiting for this moment for 25 years." That's what we're after. That's recovering.

Amelia Worley:  Wow. That's incredible, honestly. So in your opinion, what is the best way to transition out of being an adaptive child?

Terry Real:  Well, I speak about what I call relational mindfulness, take a break. I'm a big fan of breaks. Take a walk around the block. Go to my website, if I can say, terryreal.com is a one pager on the 10 Commandments on how to take a time out. Physically remove yourself for a while, but get centered, re-regulate back in the part of you that can remember what you are about. Remember that the person you're speaking to you care about, and the reason why you're speaking is to make things better. Until you're in that place, shut up, don't try and resolve anything you won't. So the first skill, I call it the ER skill, is getting re-centered in the part of you that can use skills to begin with. Then from that place, open up your mouth and speak to your partner. But the first order of business is you tending to those triggered early child states inside your self.

Another one of my sayings is maturity comes when we deal with our inner children and don't foist them off on our partners to deal with. You deal with your triggering, you get centered, then you go back to your partner and say, "What are we going to do to make this work?"

Amelia Worley:  So, on the other hand, what are some signs that it is time to leave a relationship? Where is the line between relationship problems and relationship toxicity?

Terry Real:  You can get on my website, I have an article that I wrote for the psychotherapy networker called, “Rowing to Nowhere: When Enough is Enough”, in which I tackle this issue, when's enough enough? They're obvious, if there's drug addiction or alcoholism or acting out either sexual aggressive and the person doesn't want to do anything about it, if there's a serious psychiatric disorder and the person refuses to do anything about it, if one of the two partners wants to be a thoughtful relational accountable partner and the other one doesn't, just wants to be a big baby. One of the deal breakers is if there is a distinct discrepancy in the emotional maturity of the two partners and the immature partner doesn't want to do anything about it, then the more mature partner feels pain in living with the other person, and I would help them get out. But it mostly has to do with not what the difficult partner is struggling with, but whether they're motivated to do anything about it or not.

Amelia Worley:  So how can staying in a toxic relationship affect mental health and hinder self growth?

Terry Real:  I talked to people about, I wrote this in the book, about what I call becoming relational champions. That means that you get centered in a place in your soul in which you say, "I deserve, it is my birthright to be in a relationship that is essentially cherishing, a relationship in which I can cherish my partner, they'll let me, and I feel cherished by my partner. And if I am in a relationship that is essentially uncherishing, first, let me do something about it, then we go get help. And then we get help that really helps. A lot of couples therapy doesn't do much, so let me get help that really helps. And two, if all bets are off and there's nothing I can do about, it's bad for me to be in an uncherishing relationship, it's bad for our kids to see me in an uncherishing relationship, it's bad for the uncherishing partner, it's bad for all of us. It's time to pull the plug."

Amelia Worley:  So some people seem anxious or afraid to leave a relationship they know isn't healthy or good for them because they're worried about being alone or they're nervous to try and find someone else. What type of advice would you say to someone feeling that way?

Terry Real:  Well, that person is what I would call a love dependent or a love addict. They are filtering their sense of self-worth and well-being through connection to the other. They're using other base to seem the other person's warm regard for them as a prosthetic to supplement their own faulty warm regard for themselves. So that person needs to work on self-esteem, learning how to cherish themselves. And 9 out of 10 times that person's dealing with an
abandonment wound. As a child, they were not aligned with, they were not met. Adults don't get abandoned, adults get left, children get abandoned. And that a childhood ego state of abandonment feels like I'm going to die. A child will die unless they're cared for. So I would say self-esteem work and prom work on an abandonment wound. That's at the core of their terror about being alone.

Amelia Worley:  So if someone is unhappy or in an unhealthy relationship, but they stay together for the sake of the kids, is this typically the right move for everyone involved? Or is it actually better and healthier for children to have their parents separate?

Terry Real:   It all depends, but that's really case by case. How old are the kids? How long you're going to have to tough it out? If you stay together for the sake of the kids for a year because they're about to graduate high school, fair enough. If you're staying together for the sake of the kids and they're three, well, that's quite a different matter. And what are you putting up with? What are you passing on to your children as a legacy? What are you teaching them about how you're going to be treated? It's a very personal decision. It's not for me to decide that for you, but I will say this, on the one hand, you have the damage of the divorce and what that does to children. On the other hand, you have the damage of raising your children in a loveless environment, and what that does to children. There's no easy answer to this one. Either way, your kids are going to be hurt.

Personally, I believe kids do best when either or both parents are happy and in loving relationships. And I would rather have the couple split up by and large and find other people to be happy with. I think that's better for the kids in the long run, but this is one of those questions you ask six therapists to get 33 different answers.


Amelia Worley:  So lastly, do you have any final advice or anything you want to share with our listeners currently in a struggling relationship?

Terry Real:  Well, I would invite you to my workshop starting in June. It's the first ever Us workshop online, go to my website and find out about it. I would invite you to find a relational life therapist. Of course, I believe in my method, in those I've trained, they're on my website as well. Get help and get a therapist who will really support you. I don't think the traditional, uh-huh, uh-huh, tell me more about it, oh, that's what you think, oh, tell me what you think, is going to work. You find the therapist who's going to deal with what you're dissatisfied with and take your partner on and see if they can render themselves more pleasing to you. And if you don't have that support, find a different therapist. So my first order is find help and my second is find help that will really support you, take the issues on, not be so nice, not be so passive, and deliver a better relationship for you.

Amelia Worley:  That's great. Well, thank you so much. It was wonderful interviewing you today.

Terry Real:  Thank you. It was a great joy. Be well.

*Cover photo credit: Dennis Breyt

Please note: The views expressed by the interviewee are for educational and informational purposes only, are not meant to diagnose or treat any condition, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Seattle Anxiety Specialists, PLLC.


Editor: Jennifer (Ghahari) Smith, Ph.D.

Psychologist Kevin Chapman on Panic & Social Anxiety

An Interview with Psychologist Kevin Chapman

Dr. Kevin Chapman is the Founder and Director of the Kentucky Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders (KY-CARDS), and specializes in the treatment of anxiety, panic disorder and social phobia using CBT.

Jennifer Ghahari: Hey, thanks for joining us today for this installment of The Seattle Psychiatrist Interview Series. I'm Dr. Jennifer Ghahari, research director at Seattle Anxiety Specialists. I'd like to welcome with us licensed clinical psychologist Kevin Chapman, who is certified by the Academy of Cognitive and Behavioral Therapies. Dr. Chapman is the founder and director of the Kentucky Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders, KY-CARDS. He specializes in treating anxiety, panic disorder, and social phobia, and has written a multitude of books, book chapters, and peer reviewed journal articles, including “Minority Inclusion in Randomized Clinic Trials with Panic Disorder” and “Clinical Behavioral Treatment of Social Anxiety among Ethnic Minority Patients.” Before we get started, can you please let our listeners know a little bit more about yourself and what made you interested in cognitive behavioral therapy?

Kevin Chapman: Thank you. I appreciate that. Well again, I’m Kevin Chapman, licensed psychologist. I'm originally from Louisville, Kentucky, and again, run the Kentucky Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders. And I've always been fascinated, honestly, with anxiety-related disorders and CBT in particular, because I was also a college athlete, and when I took my first psychology course, it kind of spilled into the abnormal psychology. And once I took that, I learned something in the literature that was pretty perplexing to me; it was “Wait a minute, more people have anxiety than anything else.” It's widespread, yet it's treatable.

So immediately I was like, “Oh, sign me up!” That's something that's not only challenging, but something where we can plug some holes. So as I matriculated throughout that process, I learned about the different modalities and types of therapy, and cognitive behavioral therapy not only was rational and logical, it just made a great deal of sense. And I think that the practical application of CBT that we know today is really attractive to me because it gives you the ability to not only be flexible, but also creative. So it was just a really fun approach, but also something where you actually saw what I call the “before- and after-shot” when you're working with clients who struggle with anxiety. So it just made a lot of sense.

Jennifer Ghahari: Great. We've had several clients reach out to us for help specifically for panic attacks. And can you explain what a panic attack actually is and what someone with this disorder might experience when they're having one?

Kevin Chapman:  Yeah, sure. So I mean, I guess we define panic as a discrete experience, like a concrete experience of the fear response, essentially, where you have intense fear and discomfort. Ultimately what we've learned about panic over the years is that panic is what we call a false alarm. It's essentially a fear response out of context. And I think for many people, when they realize that a panic attack and fear are actually the exact same process, it's just that I'm having the fear response out of context, that in and of itself can be really helpful in helping a lot of clients manage.

So in many ways, when we see the experience of panic, it's very discrete. So ultimately, we have the fight or flight response, right? Our body's flooded with adrenaline and noradrenaline. And ultimately, it's preparing us for perceived danger. So we have heart palpitations, shortness of breath, lightheadedness, smothering sensations, sweating, tingling sensations in our body, and essentially it's fight or flight. And the good thing, as you know, is that if I'm in actual danger, that's super adaptive and helpful. It's that when people have those recurrent panic attacks when there is no threat, that's a problem.

I always tell people that it's like saying, “I'm pulling a fire alarm in a movie theater when there's no fire.” And ultimately, that's very scary for people who experience it. And then they start pairing that with situations. And all of a sudden we develop agoraphobia, so I start fearing places and situations in which those panic attacks occur. And now I have two problems. I have that panic cycle, but then I have situations in which the cycle occurs, and therefore I'm really distressed when I go out and about.

Jennifer Ghahari: Wow. And what will be the best and most effective treatment for something like that?

Kevin Chapman: Yeah, that's a great question. And we often talk about the most effective treatments in that regard, and the first line treatment, of course, is medication, and medication certainly seems very helpful in that regard. And it certainly helps a client dampen some of the depression symptoms that come about, also the anxiety that's associated with it. So it decreases that negative affect, if you will.

But the gold standard treatment is cognitive behavioral therapy. And that's something that I certainly implement with my clients. So CBT, and of course CBT is the gold standard where we're teaching clients to not only recognize that, psycho-educate them about what's the difference between anxiety and fear and panic, but also teaching them the importance of the role that their cognitions or thoughts about having panic attacks and the sensations themselves, and in some people, the situations in which they occur, teaching them that their thoughts influence the physiological arousal, the feelings in their body, and that leads to subsequent action, which in many cases, of course, is avoidance of things that trigger panic. So teaching them how to engage in cognitive restructuring and engage in exposure-based therapy is really the best way to treat panic.

Jennifer Ghahari: And anxiety, particularly social anxiety, is another disorder that clients often reach out to us about. What is social anxiety, and can you describe what someone feels when they're experiencing that?

Kevin Chapman: Yeah, doc, I think that when we think about social anxiety, I think that the seductive part about social anxiety is that social anxiety is a normal part of life, right? And when we talk to clients about social anxiety, we normalize it, because it's saying, when we think about being in a situation that's unfamiliar to us or that's uncomfortable, that involves people, certainly anxiety to a degree is super helpful. So on the one hand, we all experience anxiety, but social anxiety when it becomes a disorder, is essentially me having this persistent fear, not just occasional, but a persistent fear of social or performance situations where negative evaluation may occur.

You'll appreciate this, but I'll often tell the clients, so think about that. Any social situation you find yourself in, like for example, Chick-fil-A, the nicest people on earth, you technically could be made fun of in the drive-through. Now granted, that's unlikely, but ultimately, any situation that involves a person has the potential of negative evaluation. So therefore, I have this persistent fear of making a fool of myself, being negatively evaluated, humiliating myself.

And that tends to include things like initiating or maintaining conversations, group discussions, the number one fear in the United States: public speaking, meeting new people, speaking to a figure of authority. And that creates significant distress, I'm bothered by it, and also impairment in my day-to-day functioning. So that's what we talk about when we say the disorder or the diagnosis of social anxiety.

Jennifer Ghahari: Wow. You had an article on the KY-CARDS site, on your site, which discusses how wearing a face mask ironically may impact someone's social anxiety. And can you explain the correlation that some people are experiencing with that?

Kevin Chapman: Yeah. You know, it's interesting, because if we had our druthers as fellow scientists, of course, we would want to study that and see how that comes out empirically. But anecdotally what we find, I think, that one of two things can happen because of the pandemic with the COVID, of course, pandemic. And I think that what we find is number one, for people who have social anxiety, I've found quite a few clients, when they wear a mask, it's somewhat of a buffer to their social anxiety. In other words, they feel less anxious, because you can't really see my facial expressions, and therefore I have an illusion of control. So on the one hand, you can see it as a good protector.

However, from a cognitive-behavioral standpoint, we could call that a safety signal, too. And that could be problematic, because once you're able to resume normal, as we know normal life at this point, and interact with people socially, that kind of essentially prevents you from navigating those situations the way that we would want you to in treatment. In other words, that buffer is temporary. Just like having a bottle of Xanax in my pocket or having some essential oils or my safe person, or whatever it might be to make me feel better temporarily. So on the one hand, it can be a buffer. On the other hand, it can backfire and perpetuate vicious cycles of social anxiety, because after all, we communicate often non-verbally with our facial expressions, and that's what many people are very sensitive to, is “how I appear to other people.”

Jennifer Ghahari: Wow. Okay. It's a lot going on. Yeah, it's interesting that it's almost like a Band-Aid, but like you said, once that Band-Aid gets removed, the wound is essentially still there. Wow.

Speaking of COVID, the pandemic has led to an increase in anxiety for so many reasons, like health, financial, isolation, fear of the unknown, et cetera, et cetera. And you've come up with an acronym on your website to help people find ease during the crisis. Can you explain to our listeners what that is?

Kevin Chapman: Yeah. And I think, you know, doc, that I love CBT. So any time I do any sort of media, my whole purpose behind that is to disseminate the science and psychology to help people on a day-to-day basis. That's why I like media platforms. It's for dissemination. So with that being said, the acronym that I came up with is steeped in CBT, and people have really resonated with it, because it's very practical and easy to understand, and we call it FIGHT. And in this case, we talk about “Fight COVID.”

So FIGHT is an acronym. The F is focus on what I can control. So ultimately, I can't control what will happen in three hours or what happened two hours ago. But what I can control is what's happening in this present moment. So kind of borrowing from mindfulness-based literature, I can focus on this moment in time. I can regulate my emotions. I can regulate my breathing. I can see how this couch feels on my body, things like that. And focusing on what I can actually accomplish in the moment is critical to regulating emotions as it relates to things like COVID and such.

The I is identify negative thoughts, and identifying of thoughts ultimately is super important for regulation because thoughts, particularly catastrophic thoughts or negative prediction type thoughts, tend to fuel the fire, of course, to strong symptoms of anxiety. And that's something that when we identify the thoughts that are leading to the emotional experience itself, that gives us a knowledge base to be able to alter that to some degree.

G is my favorite, it really is. And that's generating alternative thoughts. That's the heart and soul of cognitive therapy, is coming up with not necessarily positive thoughts, because there's a lot of things happening right now in our society that's just simply not good. However, we can be flexible in how we think about situations. And that's what's key to emotional regulation, is that if I'm flexible in how I think about things, coming up with different alternatives, that can lead to different emotional experiences, which is so important.

Which leads to the H, which is highlighting adaptive behaviors. What can I do behaviorally to alter my emotional experience? What can I do to help my neighbor? What can I do that's something that's an action step that will alter my entire emotional experience? You know, as well as I do, like with depression, if I can engage in behavioral activation, just walk down the road, that in essence creates endorphins. And then even if I didn't feel like doing it, it makes many people feel better. So engaging in adaptive behaviors.

And then finally it's something that we really nerd-out about, and that's T, and that's teaching somebody else the same principle. So CBT is not a selfish treatment modality. It's something where it's like, if I learn how to do it, then I'm becoming my own therapist, and therefore, I can teach somebody else the same exact thing. So that's the FIGHT acronym, and it seems to be pretty practical.

Jennifer Ghahari: Awesome. Thank you. And so as a psychologist and a therapist specializing in CBT, do you have any other advice or recommendations for our listeners if they're suffering from panic attacks and/or social anxiety?

Kevin Chapman: Yeah. Well, number one, I would say for sure, “You're not alone.” And I think in many ways, many people we encounter who experience anxiety and related symptoms, because it feels so bad and they have such low distress tolerance, I think that they often feel isolated and like nobody can ever understand how I feel. And I just want to say to listeners that, number one, it's normal to experience anxiety. Many people who don't have disorders experience panic attacks. The bottom line are these are all things that we experience on a semi-regular basis, especially social anxiety. So number one, normalizing your experience.

Number two, you can be helped. And I think that is so encouraging, because CBT is the gold standard for a reason. If you're motivated, there are people, capable therapists out there, who have the expertise to be able to help you navigate these situations. And I love this. This is one of my quotes. I call it the emotional law of gravity. Always remember that what goes up must come down, and that's true for emotions, too. So in many ways, when we think about experiencing distress, know that though it's uncomfortable, it's not threatening, and this too shall pass.

Jennifer Ghahari: That's wonderful. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. And thank you for being part of this installment of The Seattle Psychiatrist. Again, a lot of our clients reach out for help on these topics, so we appreciate your expertise in helping out.

Kevin Chapman: Well, thank you. It's a pleasure. Thank you.

Jennifer Ghahari: Thank you.

For more information, click here to access our article in “The Seattle Psychiatrist” Magazine: The Impact of Nervous System Attunement on Social Anxiety.

Please note: The views expressed by the interviewee are for educational and informational purposes only, are not meant to diagnose or treat any condition, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Seattle Anxiety Specialists, PLLC.


Editor: Jennifer (Ghahari) Smith, Ph.D.

Professor Donna Davis on healthcare & Virtual Reality

An Interview with Professor Donna Davis

Donna Davis, Ph.D. is an Associate Professor and Director of both the Oregon Reality Lab and the Strategic Communication Master’s Program at the University of Oregon (Portland) and is an expert in psycho-social virtual reality (VR) utilization.

Stephen Alexanian:  Thank you for joining us today for this installment of the Seattle Psychiatrist Interview series. I'm Stephen Alexanian, research intern at Seattle Anxiety Specialists. I'd like to welcome with us Dr. Davis, who is Associate Professor and Director of the Strategic Communication Master's Program at University of Oregon, and also the head of the Oregon Reality Lab in Portland. Her work has encompassed potential uses of immersive media, virtual reality, with special interests and marginalized and vulnerable people. Her newest publication she co-authored is, “Virtually Real, But Not Quite There: Social and Economic Barriers to Meeting Virtual Reality’s True Potential for Mental Health.”

Great to have you here and helping us understand these interesting, complex issues. First of all, would you like to introduce yourself a little bit more, and tell us what made you interested in VR research?

Donna Davis:  Sure. I am Donna Davis and, as you just said, direct the Oregon Reality Lab and Strategic Communication. The work I've done is at that intersection of how we think about communication, how we think about creating communities, and how we create identities in virtual worlds, and the effect that that ultimately has on us and others.

And I got interested in this space because, working on my PhD at the university of Florida in 2008, I took a class in virtual worlds and it blew my mind. I had no idea this technology was out there at the level that it was. You figure game spaces in that moment in time were still pretty primitive. And the course that I took was actually using the platform of Second Life to explore the potential uses of virtual worlds. And Second Life was just three or four years old at the time also, really in a primitive state, both graphically and technologically.

But when I saw what was happening in that environment, I just thought, "This is crazy. It's the Wild West, and there is so much potential here. I need to try to figure out what's going on in this space."

And so, I wrote a dissertation on the efficacy of social capital that's formed with between people in virtual worlds when they only know each other virtually. Avatar to avatar, people fall in love, they build communities, they create support that's very, very real. And of course, it also has sometimes some very real, sometimes very positive, and sometimes very negative consequences. It got me on that path where I basically started the PhD program with an expectation to focus on family media literacy. I identified a medium that had even more potential to be both, there was promise and peril. And I just took that hard right and never looked back. Came to the University of Oregon from there, and I have stayed in that space as a researcher since then.

Stephen Alexanian:  Thank you for that. For our audience who may not know what virtual reality is, can you explain what it is? What makes VR very immersive or effective?

Donna Davis:  Sure. Well, and it's interesting because the term virtual reality is so often misused and misunderstood, because you read anything right now, and they talk about the future of work is in reality. They're talking about zoom as virtual reality. And in its literal sense, this is our virtual reality. We're experiencing real time, synchronous interaction face-to-face, but it's entirely remotely and digital. It is virtual.

But virtual reality also, among people that are in the field, typically they're talking about virtual reality as the experience that we have in a virtual reality headset, that really immerses a person in that virtual space. Because with a headset on you, don't see the world around you anymore. And if you've got earphones on, you don't hear the world around you anymore, and your brain actually takes you there, and you feel completely immersed in this built and virtual environment, and in an embodied way.

The virtual reality that I've been working in for now almost 14 years, is screen-based, so these are screen-based virtual worlds, again, that are entirely computer-generated, animated. And what makes them work, and so powerful, are a couple of different things. One of the key pieces of that is the concept of presence, feeling like you are actually present in that space, that there's a social presence where it's, I am socially present with others. There is an environmental presence where I feel like I am present in that space, in that moment in time. And feeling physically present that it's my body, and that I'm interacting with an environment that affects me in an embodied way. So, the self-presence, that you feel present in that space and that you're interacting in that space in a way that also, part two, is immersiveness. And that, like I said, with a headset on, you're even that much more immersed. And you feel completely immersed and present in that environment, where you don't necessarily feel present in your physical environment anymore.

So, there's almost a spectrum of both presence and immersion, based on which hardware or platform you're operating in, and at what level of built environment versus a camera, video environment. And the other part that is really important to the work I do is that sense of embodiment. That is where you have a digital body in that virtual space, that built environment, typically known as an avatar. And even as we think about avatars, I always ask in class, or when I'm presenting around the world, if people have an avatar, and a couple of people might raise their hands. The audience is, the more they do, because the younger audiences are gamers and are in many platforms such as Roblox or Animal Crossing or Fortnite, the big ones right now that are virtual environments.

And so, they all have avatars and they’re like, “Yeah, I do.” But if you also create a Memoji for your phone, or on Facebook, or on any other virtual platform where you have a digital representation of yourself, that is your avatar. That’s the other real important piece of this that I have found one of the most important parts of the work I do, because that sense of identity that comes through your virtual body can also be incredibly powerful in good, bad and ugly ways.

Stephen Alexanian:  Very interesting. One of the questions I was most interested in talking to you is, I know some people may have just heard of virtual reality. I heard about it a couple years ago. For you, how has research in VR changed over time since you first started exploring these areas?

Donna Davis:  The research is exploding right now because the spaces are so much more accessible. Early virtual reality research was done, and even if you were to Google the historical development of virtual reality, you'll see the Sensorama, these huge machines, or these headsets that were connected, that looked almost like you were in a Jules Verne undersea adventure, where the technology was very big, bulky, clunky, uncomfortable. And, just as early computers, what would be the size of my building we can now operate with my cellphone. Similarly, the technology is changing now in a way that you can buy a very good quality of virtual reality headset for $299 or $399, as in $399, $400, and have access to multiple experiences in virtual reality.

And while much of that has been driven by the game space, there are other people now recognizing its potential and its power, and really beginning to explore the uses of virtual reality that go way beyond gaming and entertainment, where that is still the primary driver. There are now multiple use cases of virtual reality in healthcare, especially as we look at pain management, and some work that's been done with burn victims, where you can put them in a VR headset and they're in a snow cave and playing a snowball game. And they find that the brain takes over and thinks they're in the snow. And the body responds physiologically to what the brain is thinking. So, they're able to change the bandages of burn victims with much less pain medication because the brain is so preoccupied with what they think they're doing that they are not paying as much attention to the pain.

Similarly, work in PTSD, in physical therapy, and now there's a much bigger, bigger recognition of the potential as well in dealing with people with isolation or other emotional issues, where they can see that virtual reality can be a really safe space and an accessible space to potentially explore alternatives to things like pharmaceuticals. Or it's just even practicing. There's been research done for more than a decade now with people with autism in virtual environments, where they can actually practice and experience virtually, similarly, agoraphobia or arachnophobia, and multiple phobias.

I was familiar with research that was being done with people who were afraid of water, and wouldn't go in the water. And they had their avatar just stand at the edge of the water. All the physiological fear issues kicked right up, sweat, heart rate increase, terror, terror, and they weren't even touching virtual water, much less real water. And it's like, all right, let's get you through this process of it's not even real. Why are you so terrified of it? Until they could put their toes in it, till they could put their feet in it, till they could go ankle deep. Now let's try that in real water. And they've been able to practice working through the response. Similarly, people with autism. Similarly, people with PTSD.

So, there's been a lot of research in that space for well over a decade now. But now, with the access that we have with more commercially available headsets and experiences, there's research that's really starting to take off, especially with the elderly, who often live in isolation. And people with dementia, where they can put them in a headset and they can remember a dance or a song or an experience incredibly explicitly. It's like everything lights up. There are just so many possibilities. If you can think it, you can build it, and you can test it right now. You can do that now.

Stephen Alexanian:  Thank you. You brought up the idea about pharmaceuticals, people are trying to avoid it. I know depression is a huge issue with that as well. Where is the development with helping people with their depression?

Donna Davis:  I think that I'm not as familiar with people that have been doing experimental studies with depression in VR yet. However, I can also point to some of the work that I've done that is... Again, when you're talking about social capital, it's how do you create connection in social spaces, especially in immersive virtual social spaces? And some of the early work I did was with the Parkinson's community, where an 84-year-old woman with Parkinson's discovered that she could... her son introduced her to Second Life. And because she was living in isolation, he and his sister were in opposite corners of the country. And he said, "Mom, let me help you to create avatars, and we could log in at night and hang out together and do things." And one of the things she loved to do was go ballroom dancing. So, she could log in, her avatar could put on a ballgown. Her son, on the opposite corner of the country, could log in and put on a tux, and take his mother ballroom dancing.

And the next morning when she would get up, she would've just experienced, to her, the night before, she'd gone ballroom dancing with her son. The experience was incredibly real. And that connection, and joy that she experienced, she felt, "I should share this." So, she actually started a Parkinson's support group in Second Life. And I worked with that group for over nine years, and I watched the level of support that those people were able to create from anywhere in the world. They could log in, and every Thursday morning at 10:00, we would have a Parkinson's support group in Second Life. And consistently these people reported how important it was to them to be able to have that connection with people that actually understood their situation, which, in the physical world, especially one of the women in the group was a woman that had early onset Parkinson's. She did not want to go to a Parkinson's support group in the physical world because, overwhelmingly, she would go and find that they were older than she was, further along in Parkinson's than she was, and it terrified her.

So, in the virtual world, she could log in with her very healthy, vibrant, beautiful avatar, and do amazing things, and connect with other people with Parkinson's, and have fun and do joyful things, and become friends. And people shared things in that community that they said nowhere in their physical world would they ever have felt comfortable enough to share. It's almost like people who are in any of the “As”, like AA or NA or those organizations where people may have a fear of going to one of those meetings because, even though it's anonymous, you see each other's faces, and you might bump into each other in the grocery store or at an event. It's your avatar. You could be anywhere in the world. Whether or not you share anything about your physical world identity is entirely up to you.

And people really open up in ways that they said they would never have done in the physical world because they felt it was a safer place to do that. But the mental health industry has been slower to adopt that because there are also risks, like if you're working with someone, especially who suffers from depression, or is at risk in any way of harming themselves, if something were to trigger them, and they live on the other side of the world, and you have no way to protect them, there are issues there. It's complicated legally, it's complicated clinically. But, after working with the people with Parkinson's, I got a National Science Foundation grant to work with people with broader disabilities.

And we found a community of people, again in Second Life, who were part of an organization called Virtual Ability. Many people with disabilities also are often addressing depression, and based often by their isolation, or by the circumstances of their disability. And we would host events, and one of the people in our community also started a depression organization in the virtual world, and they have thousands of members of that support group in the virtual world. Again, because they have a sense of anonymity and support where they feel like they can express themselves more openly than in any other situation they've ever been.

And they can express their emotions in really interesting ways. Sometimes it's by the way their avatar appears. I know many people have multiple avatars, and they say, "Well, this is my joyful avatar. This is the avatar I use when I'm feeling really dark. Or this is the avatar where I just want to let loose. Or this is my work avatar." They pick an avatar for the moment that they're in. Again, some people might think that comes with big risk, and that's where more research is needed. Are you creating greater potential for people who might suffer from multiple personalities? There's so many ways to approach this, and we're just at the very tip of the iceberg, I think right now, as a field, and in research, and in the technology.

Stephen Alexanian:  Just for our audience that doesn't know Second Life, is it easy for them to sign up free? Anyone can use it. Can you explain a little bit about that just for our audience who doesn't know about Second Life?

Donna Davis:  Sure, sure. And it's really funny because anytime I mention it, I will have people go, inevitably, there'll be at least one person in the room that'll say, "It's still around?" Second Life has been around for 18 years. And it's a 3D virtual environment, graphically created environment, that you can download for free on any computer at secondlife.com, and create an account at no cost.

There's different viewers you can download, but the Second Life viewer works just fine. And any computer with a graphics card and an internet connection, that's a contemporary computer, is pretty much going to operate Second Life. I've actually found that it were works on a Microsoft surface, but it does not work on a phone or an iPad, or most tablets will not run it. So, it's got to have enough beef to the graphics card, and your engine, that it'll run the graphics. But any laptop, any PC, for the most part, if it's been built in the last five years, is absolutely, probably even 10 years, is going to be able to run Second Life. You just need an internet connection and a decent graphics card, and it'll go.

Stephen Alexanian:  Okay. Thank you. Like I mentioned to you, your last published article that you did was about certain barriers to having VR reach true potential. It seems like the pandemic is really speeding up the need for telehealth solutions like VR. Can you talk about the main challenges for implementing VR in healthcare? Any social, technology or cultural issues?

Donna Davis:  Sure. One of the pieces that we wrote, that I co-authored with colleagues here in Eugene, we're talking specifically about the barriers to adoption of VR. Part of that is that the technology has been slow to market, and the pandemic actually exacerbated that with supply chain issues. But at the same time, things started to really grow during the pandemic because people were all, instead of... In working with people with disabilities, my colleague, Tom Boellstorff, from UC Irvine, who worked with me on the National Science Foundation grant, he and I always refer to people as, there are people with disabilities, and then there are tabs. And we're tabs. That means we are temporarily able-bodied, because as we age, some things about our body will... increasingly, you'll need glasses, you might need hearing aids, you might need a walker. But all of us will experience different levels of ability and disability as we age.

So, during the pandemic, we found that all people were living with the same level of isolation as people that had traditionally only been marginalized had experienced. So, they were finding new ways to connect, and all of that was digital. It's also driven a lot of the innovation in what's coming in VR in terms of headsets, and through which technologies. Everybody's scrambling to try to figure out how can we access these things on tablets and phones, because everybody has a phone in their pocket almost entirely today. We're not all walking around with a PC. And part of the obstacle is that headsets are still expensive as the globe thinks about the economy. I say, oh, they're just $400. $400 is a lot to a lot of people, and it requires a higher end computer to run it. So, there's an economic barrier.

There is to a certain extent, a technology barrier, although those barriers are coming down rapidly. Part of the technological barrier is even, some people will find, certainly the people that I worked with in the disability community, couldn't wear a headset. And it might be that they had a muscular-skeletal issue where their head couldn't support the weight of a headset. For some, it was a claustrophobia. For many, it was motion sickness. And while they're doing lots of things to remedy all of those things, it's still a barrier to a lot of people.

And the final barrier has been one of content. So, building the content is an issue in terms of... The primary content creation to date has been in the game space. And although there are many companies blossoming that are creating content in other ways now, we're starting to see it being more widely adopted across industries, so people are using VR and AR in lots of creative ways right now that... Pre-pandemic and at the beginning of the pandemic, it was just really hard to find content that was easily accessible. At the same time, we're in this moment where, any minute now, we should be hearing that Facebook is about to get a new name because, famously, a couple of weeks ago, Mark Zuckerberg said they're moving away from an internet or a social media company to a metaverse company. And the metaverse is entirely about virtual reality. When you have the biggest social networking site in the western hemisphere saying, "We're moving away from social and into metaverse," I think it says a lot about the direction that technology is going.

Stephen Alexanian:  Right. That seems like they're trying to get toward the, if you've ever seen the movie Ready Player One...

Donna Davis:  Of course.

Stephen Alexanian:  Quick question. How close are we to, how many years would you say till we get to that point of everyone being Ready Player One? Not the chaotic outside, but within the virtual reality world.

Donna Davis:  It's hard to know. And Ready Player One, and a lot of reporting about virtual reality, is very dystopic. And this is one of the things that I, this is the drumbeat that I am always banging on, and that is one, virtual reality should be an augment to our physical world, not a replacement of. And we know that game addiction is now officially recognized by the world health organization. So, there are other questions about, how do we create a balance, a healthy balance, of digital and physical in a way that we don't ignore the world around us that needs us, including our families, our children, the environment, all of those other things that we need as a healthy culture, we can't abandon because the virtual world is more fun, more entertaining, more loving, more all of the things that we think of that makes it utopic, creates a dystopia.

I think we're very close to the potential of just about anybody being able to log in. And I see, if some people have their way, that that would be the preferred method of work, of communication, of relationships, of many of the ways that we as human beings connect and communicate. That this wonderful technology is going to open the world up to us and connect us in incredibly more powerful and supportive ways. And where some of that is true, the dark side is also true. If we want to go down Ready Player One, it's not far off.

Stephen Alexanian:  Okay. Gotcha. My last question is a two-parter. You mentioned some people experience cyber sickness, other issues, problems. What would be your main advice, as a researcher, to clinicians who are wanting to work with VR therapy or getting involved with it, and talk about their reservations for getting them involved with this kind of research, because not a lot of clinicians are actually trained in this area. And then what would you say to patients who are interested in this, but have reservations?

Donna Davis:  Okay. Couple of things there. And let me start with the clinicians who would be interested, and how do they go about it. Very interesting is that, in our NSF work with the disability community, many of these people, and we didn't specifically say that people had to have any type of particular disability, so we had people with both physical and invisible disabilities. We had people in our community that had bipolar disorder, or who had PTSD or depression. And we had several people who were in therapy due to their condition, and one of them in particular was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and PTSD. Her issues were very psychological, and that she had a therapist who worked with her, but independent of what she was doing in Second Life, her therapist had never been in Second Life.

And she went to her therapist and said, "I've created an avatar that is my young child self, my young teen self, my young adult self, and my current self." I think she actually had five different ages. And what she wanted to do was try to experience where her trauma occurred, to be able to work through it in and embodied way. And found that her youngest self was so triggered instantly that she had to log out, and she couldn't log back in for a month, so those are the risk parts of it. But she was doing it entirely on her own, not with professional therapy. But she'd go to her therapist and say, "This is what I did." And her therapist said, "If I weren't about to retire, I'd totally be about trying to figure out how to do this with you."

I think that, again, as we think about telehealth and the future of telehealth, and we think about the future of these technologies as therapies, that we have to look at the legal implications. What are we allowed to do and not allowed to do, legally, when it comes to therapy? And when I say we, I think of it as a researcher, and I have to go through IRB approvals. Anytime I'm working with people, we have to make sure that we do no harm. In the same vein that people that are offering professional counsel to these people obviously want to do no harm. They need to be exploring, what are the technologies that are already available, where their clients might even be? And how do we meet them there in a way that informs everybody in a really productive, safe way, and potentially very innovative and supportive.

Obviously, it won't be for everybody. When I was working on my PhD, so this is almost 14 years ago, one of the people that I met, one of the first people and friends that I met in Second Life, was a therapist who worked with the criminally insane. He was working with people who were hospitalized by virtue of the crimes they had committed. And many of them had suffered from pretty severe addiction issues with pretty severe drugs. And he said that he was working with some of them in game spaces, whether it was Second Life or in a game environment, and he found that they really were drawn to it in a way that potentially could be addicting or addictive. And at the same time, he said, "But if I can addict them to a game instead of heroin, I consider it a win." And this is 14 years ago. So much has changed since that time.

Similarly, one of the women in our community who was also getting therapeutic support, said that her therapist was concerned that she would get lost in the digital environment, that she would spend too much time there and be addicted. So, we have certain biases already built into our minds about the way we look at some of these technologies, especially from the dystopic perspective. And her therapist is basically scolding her about the amount of time she was spending in the virtual world. The woman in our community said she doesn't have a social life in the physical world. It's not like she's going to a restaurant and sitting on her phone during dinner. When she's at dinner, she actually is having real face-to-face conversations with people. Then, in the virtual world, they might go to work for that, or they might go to other events for that. This is where she would go for that.

I think that, for people that are looking at this space, that they need to really open their minds to its potential, rather than automatically discount it as a bad or evil space, which often happens. Understand where the patients are, and where you can think about these platforms as ways to augment experiences in productive, safe, and positive ways. And to also look at them with really critical eye, in ways that we protect the people that are there, so we don't become that dystopic Ready Player One, and we are replacing our physical relationships and world with the digital.

And I think it has immense potential, both in positive and negative ways. The more we all are looking at that with a critical eye to look for what are the goods, and then what do I need to do to protect the people so they can experience that good, is going to be really important.

I live in Oregon. It's well known as a wine country. And this is one of those things, that I've had people actually yell at me after presentations in conferences about the evils of these platforms. And my response has always been, "I live in wine country, and I do really enjoy a fine glass of wine with a good meal. It doesn't mean that when I open the bottle, it's the beginning of a three-bottle night every night." Some people are going to be prone to go that way. How do we put protections in place? Other people find it as a really fine experience on an occasion that can augment their life in really positive and wonderful ways.

Stephen Alexanian:  Gotcha. Do you think more researchers, last question, researchers should build their own company, like Oculus or something, to have more safeguards? Because we're basically trusting a lot of Facebook, these other big tech companies. Is there a way, do you think, that researchers can get more into this, that are independent from these companies? So, people don't feel as worried about the evils of Facebook.

Donna Davis:  Of course. And Oculus is the number one VR headset out there, owned by Facebook. And beginning this year, you have to actually set up an Oculus with a Facebook account, so they have locked you in. And a lot of people have pushed back against that and say, "Well, I'll use a different headset." And there are options out there. And there are other world builders out there. And there are experienced builders out there. There are companies today that new positions in the companies are Chief Metaverse Officer. They're saying, "We've got to be in this space." Especially as we look at Gen Z. The millennials, plenty, but Gen Z totally are growing up in these environments. We're way behind if we're not already thinking about those things. And there are big companies, like the biggest gaming companies, that are creating platforms for multiple uses.

I think that you'll have plenty options in the future. And I think it's really important to know who's hosting where you are. Are you creating your own space? And you certainly can do that. And I think, ultimately, it'll be much like subscription services as we experience them now, where you can pay to have a private environment, and keep it very exclusive to your space. But if you want people that are able to experience a blend of both the native what's already out there, and create a safe space, I think that finding a blend is going to be probably optimal, depending on your use and your audience.

And that's the other drumbeat that I'm always talking about, is what is the use and who is your audience? And so, the answer is going to be different in every single one of those cases. But any option is available.

Stephen Alexanian:  Thank you, Dr. Davis, for being with us, spending all this time. I'm sure our audience and myself are very interested in all of this and learned a lot. Thank you so much for being on this installment of the Interview Series at The Seattle Psychiatrist. Thank you.

Donna Davis:  My pleasure. Thank you.

Please note: The views expressed by the interviewee are for educational and informational purposes only, are not meant to diagnose or treat any condition, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Seattle Anxiety Specialists, PLLC.


Editor: Jennifer (Ghahari) Smith, Ph.D.