stress

Psychologist Daniel Keating on Stress, Anxiety & Adolescent Mental Health

An Interview with Psychologist Daniel Keating

Daniel Keating, Ph.D. is a Professor of Psychology, Psychiatry, and Pediatrics at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor. He specializes in adolescent development and adolescent psychology.

Mai Tran:  Awesome. Okay. Hi, everybody. Thank you for joining us today for another interview in our Seattle Psychiatrist Interview series. My name is Mai and I'm a research intern at Seattle Anxiety Specialists. We are a Seattle-based psychiatry, psychology and psychotherapy practice specializing in anxiety disorders. Today, I'd like to welcome Dr. Daniel Keating.

Dr. Daniel Keating is a professor of psychology, psychiatry, and pediatrics at University of Michigan, Ann Arbor. And Dr. Keating is an expert in developmental psychology and he specifically focuses on the integration of knowledge on developmental processes, social factors, and population patterns in developmental health and how they affect individual and population health.

He's made significant contributions to research in the field and some recent academic articles that include "Cognition in adolescence and the transition to adulthood", "The Kids Are Not All Right: Adolescent Sadness, Hopelessness, and Suicidality are Skyrocketing. What to do?" And his book "Born Anxious: The Lifelong Impact of Early Life Adversity - and How to Break the Cycle."

All right. So before we get started today, can you please tell us a little bit about yourself and why you initially became interested in studying developmental psychology?

Daniel Keating:  Sure. So it's a long story, but I'll condense it. I did my graduate work, my PhD, at Johns Hopkins. And the work that I was doing at that time was really focused more on individual differences rather than developmental differences. But the focus was on early precocity, that is to say individuals who were advanced in during their early adolescence in terms of their math and scientific expertise and measured in a variety of ways. And so there was a developmental component to that obviously in terms of how people came to those things. There was also one of the giants in the field of developmental psychology was also was a professor at Hopkins when I was there, Mary Ainsworth, who is responsible for a lot of the work that's been done on attachment and the sequelae of attachment from early childhood. So I managed to come by some of that knowledge through her being on the faculty.

My first tenured position was at the Institute of Child Development at the University of Minnesota and increasingly began to focus on a variety of things having to do with how the differences develop as opposed to just that they exist and how we might deal with them.

And then I subsequently moved to the University of Toronto and was invited then somewhat out of the blue to take on the task of setting up one of their networks in a think tank called the Canadian Institute for Advanced Research. And it was on human development and it went across the board from sort of molecular and single-cell neuroscience all the way through anthropology, sociology, and so forth.

And then that really sort of provoked my interest in how both, individually, how the things develop, but also in terms of the population impact of a variety of things, focusing as I think the evidence led us to look at what are the circumstances that lead some individuals to thrive and other individuals to struggle. What are the kinds of things that are going on? And, of course, in that context, early life adversity plays a major role. So that's the very thumbnail version.

Mai Tran:  Yeah. And I also recall reading some of that in your book "Born Anxious."

Daniel Keating:  Right.

Mai Tran:  And I'm really interested in one of the concepts that you kind of laid out in the book, social epigenetics, and the links to stress dysregulation. So can you explain what these are to our audience in layman terms?

Daniel Keating:  Sure. So let me break it apart a little bit. So epigenetics is a relatively new field of study, certainly as it bears on behavior. And basically, the idea there is that of course we all know that the DNA you get at the moment of conception is the DNA blueprint that you'll carry throughout your lifespan, that doesn't change. But what does change is when we take a closer look at how genes function, and among the things that how genes work, basically, is that they're, if you think of them as little manufacturing centers and they're producing certain things that they're designed to produce. All of them have a region, it's called a number of things, the promoter region or the regulatory region of the gene. And what that does is in a sense, whatever it is that that gene does, the promoter region tells us when to do it, how much to do it, when to turn off, when to turn on, et cetera.

That portion of the gene is malleable. It can be affected by a variety of different things. It can be changed by physical exposures like toxic exposures. One of the best documented is in terms of the impact of cigarette smoking makes a lot of epigenetic changes that are thought to play a significant role in the development of cancer, for example. But the breakthrough from our point of view is the other term, social. And basically what was emerging and discovered and since has exploded is in really around 1999, 2000, was that first with animal studies and later with human studies, it turns out that social experiences, especially stressful experiences also cause epigenetic changes.

And some of the most important of those, we don't know all of them for sure by now, but some of the most important of them, earliest documented and most frequently documented are changes to the stress regulation system, which is basically what causes our stress system to respond, how much does it respond, how long does it take to go back to baseline and so forth. And so obviously, I think we all know that a stress system is essential for survival. We need to have it, but when it gets overly engaged, often because of stress exposure either in infancy or even in the womb, that then can make an epigenetic change that can carry forward in terms of how that stress system works.

Mai Tran:  Right. That's really interesting. And I am sure that a lot of people would be curious to know as what specifically are some of the most common environmental factors that can cause changes to your epigenetics?

Daniel Keating:  Right. Well, as I say, the stress response and the stress influence on this is the one that's, at this point, the best understood, although it's still not by far completely understood. But basically what we're looking at there is exposure to stress in a variety of ways. And it depends, of course, on the age of the organism.

So in the womb it's relatively straightforward in the sense is that if for whatever reasons the mother to be is experiencing high levels of stress or adversity, all the way from worries about sort of getting the material necessities of life or shelter, food, that kind of thing, or more seriously if they're in an abusive relationship and have stress because of that. So kind of those as the extremes, those, if they are sufficient, or if the mother's response to them is sufficient, that it produces a level of cortisol, which is one of the main products in the stress response system, if that cortisol is at a sufficiently high level, it can break through the uterine barrier and enter into the womb. And if those circulating chemicals then include cortisol at a sufficiently high level, they can trigger the epigenetic changes in the fetus even before they're born. So that would be one pathway that happens.

After being born, the first year to two are the most sensitive periods. And stress can come in a variety of ways. It's largely around the absence or a dysfunctional nurturing of the infants. So if they're not being taken care of, whether it's in terms of meeting physical needs or meeting comforting, nurturing needs like being held and that sort of thing, that then can elevate the stress level as well.

And then as individuals get older, those are the most sensitive periods, but it can happen later as well. But basically what that does is set up the stress response system, that high stress during those critical periods, sets up a system whereby the organism learns, in a sense, biologically, that it's probably a not very safe world out there. It's a dangerous world out there. And so if you're going to survive in a dangerous world, what you want to do is to have a stress response system that's more like a hair trigger. Even things that most folks might see as neutral, they would regard as dangerous and do that and respond excessively. And then excessive cortisol has a lot of negative consequences behaviorally, health-wise, and so forth.

The other thing I just want to point out is that we often speak of it, and I try to avoid it, but it's not easy, is to think of this as a problem or a deficit or whatever. I think it's better to think of it as an adaptation to what the organism perceives as a dangerous environment. So if in fact you are in a highly dangerous environment, having that kind of quick trigger stress response and immediately engage in fight or flight is perhaps survival, helpful.

And it doesn't do a whole lot of good for your body, but it does in fact maybe keep you alive. So think of the predator in the bush or a tiger in the bush. If you're in an area that's relatively safe and all of a sudden it's invaded by new predators, organisms that respond quickly to that are more likely to survive than individuals who don't. And so we have to understand, although in our environment, that's typically not the kind of environment we're living in, but the system doesn't know that, and so it doesn't know where the stress is coming from. And so it's typically more problematic for individuals with that stress response dysregulation, even though it really is evolutionarily an adaptation to dangerous environments.

Mai Tran:  Right. Yes, that's really interesting to hear. And speaking of that kind of stress adaptation, how would you describe what it feels like to experience that kind of constantly elevated stress response or as you called it in the book, a stress response system that is constantly locked on?

Daniel Keating:  Right. So basically the experience of it is just an elevated version of what all of us experience at one time for another. So if we're all we're anxious about a big test coming up or we're fearful about something that's happened, we respond with... And one of the adaptive purposes of cortisol is to activate your system. So it's actually in many ways beneficial. It focuses attention, it increases heart rate, lung capacity and all those other sorts of things that make it possible to react and to do stuff. In a system that is more or less locked on, not totally locked on, but sort of on a continuum, it's certainly more so. You have that experience a lot all the time. And so you're kind of on edge, nervous, agitated, concerned about things that may not really exist as dangerous to you or as problems or challenges for you, but you perceive them to be so.

And so it's important to recognize that, of course, once you've activated that, and it can be an internal activation, it doesn't have to be an external threat. And that is a lot of the anxiety disorder, you're activating a system that's actually not in response to some challenge in the real world. So if you're doing that a lot, you're constantly kind of on edge or restless or concerned, and the body doesn't know whether that stress response has been triggered by an internal thought or an external threat. It activates and then it causes these changes. So essentially you're looking for a flight, fight, or you're looking to run away, even though nothing particularly problematic is actually out there in the external environment to provoke it.

Mai Tran:  Yeah. And I know that sometimes it can get pretty serious. So what do you think would be the short and long-term consequence of that?

Daniel Keating:  Well, they're very similar in some ways in the sense that they're across the board. So it can have behavioral consequences. So you are quick to anger, you go into reactive cycle more readily than other individuals, which then certainly doesn't endear oneself to people around you because they can't predict your behavior, what's going to set you off. So there's a behavioral consequence, which is then because of the accumulation of various kinds of things, can cascade into various kinds of psychopathology, externalizing being kind of the excessive fight response or internalizing being the excessive flight response going inside or at another level of freeze response where you just don't react at all to anything because it seems too dangerous. So there's all those behavioral consequences, there's mental health consequences. And I think what has now started to enter the common understanding is that it has massive health consequences.

So individuals, some of the earliest studies, this is prior to epigenetics, but some of the earliest studies showed that the sort of fetal environment is predictive of cardiovascular risk in your fifties and sixties. So it is a lifespan kind of thing. We now understand that most of that is occurring not only, but largely through the stress response system. So one of the superb scientists in this area, Bruce McEwen, who passed away relatively recently, is responsible for a lot of that work and showing why it is at a stress response system that is dysregulated, remembering it's adaptive in some sense, but this kind of dysregulation provokes this kind of sustained cortisol level. And his term for that was "allostatic load". You're carrying too much around all the time. And as it turns out, cortisol can be toxic to almost all organs of the body.

So essentially it can show up in health as cardiovascular problems, as a whole host of other kinds of metabolic problems, and so forth. The link to cancer is not that clear. There's probably a link, but it's not as clearly strong because a lot of those come from exposures to carcinogens in one version or another, physical exposures. But a lot of these things that we, sort of at a population level, of course, we wouldn't know these things if we didn't look at populations. For a given individual who shows up with a medical problem at some point in their life, what the decades long history that brought them there, we don't know all of that. But if we look at populations, it gives us an idea of what kind of consequence or sets of consequences it has.

Mai Tran:  Right. Yeah. And what do you think when the stress response becomes maladaptive to us, what do you think is a good way for us to receive help or help ourself in those situations?

Daniel Keating:  Right. Well, for that, I think the place that we would be looking is into the literature on resilience in one way or another. And so the literature on resilience has mushroomed in recent years in parallel with our better understanding of trauma and stress and so forth.

And again, this is far from settled issues, but I think that if we look at the big picture, one of the big, and probably the most well-documented way to redirect that maladaptive pathway is through social connections. That is through positive social connections. And so that can come in many, many different forms. So it can come in childhood by sort of having a responsive extended family network who can help to deal with issues that are not working well, parent, child. And so that's one example where it can happen. We have good evidence that particularly in late adolescence and early adulthood, close friendships, intimate friendships, romantic relationships can have a similar effect, if the romantic or friendship partner is supportive and has the capability to help one learn how better to regulate these sorts of things.

And there's very good evidence of this in many ways, what is come to be known as a Romanian orphanage study. Looked at infants who, for a variety of political and economic issues at that time, there were many, many orphans who were not being cared for. There was large numbers of them, a government policy of promoting birth but not supporting families. And basically those individuals, those infants were in situations where basically the most minimal things to keep them alive were done. So they were provided with physical nourishment, food, water, milk, that kind of thing, but not much else. They were pretty much left unsupported or non-nurtured.

What we know is that those individuals, certainly up to about age one, maybe a little after that, if they were adopted from those circumstances, and there are some, it's a very tragic story, but individuals who were adopted into highly nurturing families by around age six or five or seven, looked pretty much normal. They didn't seem to have that stress dysregulation going on, or at least it wasn't affecting their behavior in major ways.

After that time, they pretty much do have lifelong consequences. So there's something about it becoming biologically embedded during sensitive periods that make it difficult to deal with. But the way that it does, those circumstances where it does work almost always involves some level of a change in the social network of closer affiliations and so forth. And so I think that stands out as the most well-documented one. Certainly in terms of particularly in childhood, things like parent-child therapy can help, right? To establish if there's enough capability for change to change what is a dysfunctional relationship in a direction that is encouraging of relational health, for example, can have a similar kind of effect, but that's of course a person to person thing as well. It's just guided person to person kinds of interactions.

The other one that stands out, and it goes by so many names, it's hard to give a comprehensive one, but it has aspects of the mindfulness approach, aspects of acquiring a set of purposes and goals and values and wanting to do some particular kind of thing. Having a focus can also be helpful and restorative in terms of giving some shape and substance to what it is that one might want to do.

Mai Tran:  Right. Thank you. That was a very extensive answer. And now I'd like to move on to your recent Psychology Today article, which is really useful. It takes on the really crucial topic of dealing with adolescent sadness, hopelessness, and suicidality in a society that keeps on triggering these responses. You mentioned a misdirection to avoid is to ignore the existential stressors in favor of the seemingly more manageable phenomenon of screen time and social media when you were discussing the effects of issues like gun violence. So how do you think we can offer help as loved ones for adolescents and prevent this epidemic of adolescent sadness, hopelessness, suicidality as these situations keep on occurring and we don't really have control over it?

Daniel Keating:  Right. So I think one of the things is that I largely think the high focus on social media as the cause of all of these mental health problems in teens is misdirected. Which is not to say that it might not be harmful for some individuals, but careful studies with large samples followed longitudinally essentially say that if there is an effect at all of screen time and social media, it's really kind of small. It's not that big a deal for most individuals. If you break it down a little bit further, it does look as though individuals who may have preexisting difficulties or challenges may accentuate it. On the other hand, there are individuals for whom it is beneficial, who might have difficulty maintaining positive relationships, and social media may well be a boon to them. And of course, we saw examples of that every day during the pandemic where teen peers are just enormously important and salient. We can see it in the brains to teens.

If you say, "No, that's it. You can't have any connection," it is likely to be very dangerous. So individuals who were in social groups and maintained them through a variety of uses of social media was beneficial. So I think we have to weigh that. And it's probably just for the vast majority of kids in the middle, it doesn't matter one way or the other, right? Particularly so, or at least we don't have any evidence that it does. So there may be effects, but the effects are relatively small. My problem with that view that it's the source of so many of the problems is that it blinds us to the fact that the other problems are much more important. So I've started to call this a stress pandemic. And it's not just in the US, it's not just teens. It really is a kind of universal phenomenon. And it's hard to ignore the fact that that's because so many things are going wrong, taking the US as our prime example, right?

Concerns about climate change... Now that will probably affect youth more because they understand they're going to bear the brunt of it than the folks who are making decisions, who are the CEOs of oil and gas companies or whatever. So they're going to suffer. So they're aware of that. Growing up, figuring out how to avoid active shooters is bizarre, right? That's just an enormous stressor. It is a huge stressor. And you can go on and on with other kinds of things. And so what I think we need to think about are at two distinct levels of this. And one of which we should focus on and we focus on a lot, but we don't focus on the second one.

The first one, Desmond Tutu, or at least a quote attributed Desmond Tutu, is that in addition to trying to scoop folks out and help them who are coming down the river with all sorts of problems and try to support them, we need to go upstream and find out why it's happening. And so the downstream stuff, I think, is what we are attempting to do when we do sort of psychological interventions, when we try to create therapeutic circumstances for individuals to figure out how to do it, and more broadly, sort of communicating effective techniques for coping with stress.

And of course, we know that some individuals are resilient without intervention, they wind up doing fine. The problem with relying only on that is that then we can tend to blame the individuals who don't succeed, who have had long histories of problems and stressors, and most of them without some kind of major support will not succeed. And so we don't want to blame them for that. We created the burden. We don't want to blame them for carrying the burden and not being able to overcome it on their own. And I think the techniques there, a lot of them are out of the resilience literature that we just talked about, which can be therapeutically supported by intervention, clinical, if it's serious enough by prevention programs or just general education. So you can have universal programs, targeted programs, clinical intervention programs, all of which are helpful, but it's not helpful enough to save everybody or the vast majority of people.

And the more folks who are coming downstream, succumbing to the stress, the less effective we are in terms of how many people we can help. The upstream problems are what we tend to ignore. Why have we created a world in which the stress level is so high? And I think if we fail to attend to that, it's a problem. That, by the way, in terms of the resilience literature about the second issue around purpose and goals and so forth, I do think that for youth, for teens and young adults and so forth, I do think that a lot of them have figured out that focusing on trying to change the big picture is actually beneficial individually. They feel efficacious, they connect with other people with similar views and so forth. And we often talk about adolescent risk-taking, which is another area that I'm working on now as a negative thing. And we're concerned about it when it is a health risk like reckless driving or substance abuse and that kind of thing.

But there's this tendency to be exploratory, to try new things, to push ahead, this also has positive sides. And that's what I think we need to encourage. So coping with the stress that you can't avoid, yes, but also breaking out of yourself and figuring out how do you create networks and alliances to address the upstream problems is something that I think is also a very valuable. We don't have as much evidence of that as we might like to have, but I think the evidence is trending in that direction.

Mai Tran:  Yeah, I really appreciate your perspective on trying to address the issue at the roots instead of shifting blame on other miscellaneous issues that may or may not contribute to the problems.

Daniel Keating:  Right.

Let me just mention, I do think on the social media side, let me just be clear. I think we do need to change how we're approaching social media. It's a proprietary, obviously, setup, so we don't have, from outside, much influence on it. But to the extent that the algorithms aggravate problems, I think we should be addressing that. I think we just shouldn't be laying it all off on that and ignoring the other big existential problems out there.

Mai Tran:  Yeah, definitely. And I also know that you advocated in your article that psychologists should not, quote, unquote, "stay in their lane" by helping kids with the consequences and ignoring the roots of those existential stressors like you just mentioned. So how would you recommend for professionals in the field to take steps towards addressing the roots of these issues?

Daniel Keating:  So I think there are a couple of ways. One is, in the individual therapeutic relationship, I think creating the space rather than focusing down on what the sort of immediate stimulus was for the problem the individual's experiencing is creating enough space for kids to open up about what it is that's truly worrying them. And that is happening. There are some relatively new therapeutic interventions that focus on climate fears, for example, or other kinds of things. And I think we need to create a space for individuals to be able to do that. And so I think that being more broader in the therapeutic content that we would entertain, I think is potentially a very helpful kind of thing. I think the other thing about not staying in the lane is essentially to say, "Well, my goal," and I'm working very hard at it as a therapist, "is to get as many kids out of that downstream before they go over the falls as I can." And that occupies me. That's what I'm doing.

And I think in many ways, that's great, but I think to not recognize what might be going on upstream and how do we try to deal with that because we are encroaching on other disciplines, we're encroaching on sociology or politics or economics or whatever, we should not be intimidated by that. We are, or claim to be, the experts in behavior and things that cause problems for individuals in their life. Well, let's look at that, right? Let's not be put to the sidelines when the sociologists get ahold of it. And I have lots of very good sociologist colleagues and whatnot. So it's not a matter of individuals, it's a matter of who owns what part of the problem. And our Canadian Institute for Advanced Research was designed specifically to overcome that so that we would have force and interdisciplinary dialogue across these many different dimensions and bring all of that expertise to bear in an integrated fashion.

So I think it's basically, it has an impact on the therapeutic relationship, but it also says we shouldn't just stay in our silos that even if we're doing great work in what we're doing, I think being aware of the fact that the problem is bigger than that and trying to speak to it when we can in whatever way we are capable of or comfortable with, I think is, er, not comfortable with, we should be uncomfortable, but that we should embrace that discomfort and deal with those and try to deal with those kinds of issues.

Another is I don't think we're ever going to be addressing successfully the issue of how racism affects youth in this country without being discomforted, right? It's not just an easygoing, "Oh, okay. Everything's rosy now." No, it's not. We need to figure out what's the impact of the legacy and how do we deal with it? And all of those problems that we're talking about have long legacies. I think we need to understand why and try to figure out how to address those as well and in concert with others who do different perspectives on the problem.

Mai Tran:  Yeah, I definitely hope that we'll reach that point in the future soon. And you also just mentioned briefly that you've done research on adolescent risk-taking and risk-taking behaviors. And I also read in your recent review article, "Cognition in Adolescents and Transition into Adulthood", you also discussed the paradox of development versus the high mortality rates in adolescents. Can you explain why this may be the case and what efforts have been done to alleviate this problem?

Daniel Keating:  Sure. Well, there are a number of different angles, different angles to it. I think that one of the things that we need to understand is that when it comes to health risk behavior, the big reason we're interested in it, of course, is not just the scientific part of it, but it is in the impact on everyday lives. And so we know that the rate of morbidity, significant illness, injury, and mortality is way higher than it should be based on how physiologically sound that period of life is. So in many ways, it's a pinnacle of physiological health. So that population particularly, so let's say in the second decade of life, is one where individuals have managed to get through exposures to all sorts of childhood illnesses and exposures and whatnot and have arrived at adolescence.

And we also know that in a variety of ways, different things begin to accumulate. So by the third decade and fourth decade and beyond of life, those things start to manifest. So it should be the healthiest period of time, but we know that the levels of morbidity and mortality are much higher than, in a sense, should be just based on the physiological aspects of that age group. The reason for that is what we've come to call behavioral misadventure, in one way or the other, that individuals are engaging behaviors that have a high risk for mortality or morbidity, and that we need to think about how we might... We want to understand the basis of it more. And we want to figure out how that helps inform our approach to trying to mitigate this problem.

Now, we do have some very good examples. There are ways of modifying population behavior in this age group. One of the best documented is in terms of graduated driver licensing programs, where most states now have a period of time where you gradually get to the point of being able to operate a motor vehicle under any circumstances and includes things like not having unrelated gears in the car or minors in the car, maybe some restrictions on nighttime driving or highway driving or other kinds of things.

There's been very, very good essentially econometric studies of that showing that over the last several decades that the rate of mortality attributable to teen driving has dropped in the 40% to 50% range. So it's not impossible. We can do that. Similar things, not just specifically aimed at teens, but in the population or the society as a whole are issues around smoking essentially by changing the attitude about smoking, right?

Now, I know a lot of youth are into vaping and so forth, but certainly the smoking rate has gone down dramatically. So the point here is that we can identify, or at least in some areas, we have been successful in identifying ways to mitigate that risk for adolescents. The big areas that remain in terms really of morbidity rather than mortality are things like substance use that can turn into substance of abuse or substance use disorders of one kind or another.

The unprotected sexual activity is another one that's a significant contributor to morbidity to various sexually transmitted diseases and infections. And part of that is we seem to be going in the wrong direction, or at least in some places. So there are state by state changes or differences in how sex education is handled in schools. So if we just look at that, there have been studies where we've looked at many different influences in terms of sex education and so forth. And if you put it on a continuum from, "The only thing we're going to talk about is abstinence, that's it. Just don't do it and therefore it will reduce it." So if everyone followed that, yes, that would reduce it, but it's not realistic. That is not how the world works, how human bodies work. So there's that end. And then the other end is a very comprehensive sex education with lots of information and even with community support to get easy and non-embarrassing access to condoms and so forth and so on.

So if we look at the state differences and what's taught in schools, which is not a massive influence, but it's a significant influence, the rates are dramatically different in the sense that the abstinence-only sex education leads to higher levels of unwanted teen pregnancies, higher levels of sexually transmitted diseases and infections, and a whole host of the attendant problems that go along with that. So there's an example of one where we kind of know the evidence is real clear what we should be doing. There's then political and sort of, for some individuals, moral opposition to that. But we definitely know that we have a massively positive impact on that health risk if we just said, "Comprehensive education is what we're going to always do and community support for safe sex."

Mai Tran:  Yeah, I can recognize that that's definitely important, especially education-changing policies and community support. And so finally, would you like to share any additional messages or advice to our audience today?

Daniel Keating:  Well, I think we've covered a lot of the territory. I think I would sum up by saying I would encourage folks on either side of the therapeutic relationship become more aware that it's not just an issue in your mind. If you're having problems, it's not just a problem in your mind, that it is rooted also in the body. We use the term biological embeddings going back a few decades now. And it really does, it gets embedded in your body. And so you need to think about how at both ends of that relationship, to what extent are those contributing factors? How are they operating? And what kinds of things do you want to do? So for example, I think that a shift towards more trauma-informed practices, a shift towards focusing on the key role of relational health as an adjunct to a specific mental health kind of thing is where we need to be going.

I think that we need to have a broader view and a more interdisciplinary view that brings together the biological, the psychological, and the social. And those directions I think will necessarily point us toward looking at the bigger picture that we need to think about changing if we want to create a more less stress inducing world, less of a stress epidemic. And by we, I mean encouraging youth to become involved in that. They're already more involved in many ways than middle-aged and older adults. But I think that encouraging that youthful effort to change things, I think, is really important.

It can be overwhelming and so just ignoring it, in a sense, in some ways is coping, but it's not the best kind of coping, it's a kind of an avoidance coping. And that it also then can have a very positive impact on the individual's sense of efficacy and self and meaningfulness. And we are already seeing that. I think the, that generation, Gen-Z generation in particular is much more involved in these kinds of issues and thinking about these issues. And we need to find ways to support that. I think in many ways the answers will come from that generation if we can support it or at least get out of the way of the kinds of things they might want to be trying to accomplish.

Mai Tran:  Yeah, definitely. Thank you so much. That was really great advice. And if anything, I think we've managed to take away today that to be more aware of environmental risk factors, as you've mentioned extensively about that. So yeah, thank you so much. It was really lovely to finally meet you, and thank you for all the great nuggets of wisdom that you've offered us today. And I will definitely recommend everyone checking out Dr. Keating's research articles and his book "Born Anxious". And finally, thank you everyone for tuning in, and we'll see you all next time.

Daniel Keating:  Thank you.

Mai Tran:  Yeah, thank you.

Please note: The views expressed by the interviewee are for educational and informational purposes only, are not meant to diagnose or treat any condition, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Seattle Anxiety Specialists, PLLC.


Editor: Jennifer (Ghahari) Smith, Ph.D.

Certified Mental Performance Coach Lauren Becker Rubin on the Mental Health of Athletes

An Interview with Certified Mental Performance Coach Lauren Becker Rubin

Lauren Becker Rubin is a Hall of Fame field hockey & lacrosse athlete at Brown University. She is an advisor to Haverford College’s varsity teams to ensure their mental health well-being as competitive athletes.

Jordan Denaver:  Thanks for joining us today for this installment of the Seattle Psychiatrist Interview Series. I'm Jordan Denaver, research intern at Seattle Anxiety Specialist. I'd like to welcome Lauren Becker Rubin. Ms. Becker Rubin is a certified mental performance coach who works closely with Haverford College's varsity teams. She also works with collegiate and high school teams as well as individual athletes. Before we get started, can you please tell me a little bit more about yourself, any sports that you may have played that made you interested in studying mental performance?

Lauren Becker Rubin:  Absolutely. Good morning and thanks so much for having me. I've been involved in the mental performance space for about 30 plus years, and I think why I'm so passionate about it and why I love it so much is because I was absolutely the athlete that needed it. I was a collegiate athlete at Brown University. I played field hockey and lacrosse. Honestly, if you look at my athletic resume on paper, you would say, "Wow, you had a lot of success, a lot of awards, a lot of accomplishments." But my day-to-day didn't feel that way. I was often frustrated. I had a very hard time dealing with pressure and stress. I didn't feel like I was consistent, I wasn't meeting the big moments and I think mostly I had a really terrible relationship with losing.

I know most athletes don't like to lose, but I really took it personally. I would lock myself in my room after a bad game for hours in the dark and it would take me days to get over things, and it was just a super unhealthy relationship with how much pressure I put on myself, how I never thought I was good enough or never played well enough and just was really unhealthy, so this was 30, 35 years ago when I was in college. One day our lacrosse coach took us to the counseling center and we met with a psychologist who was dabbling in sports psych, which is pretty rare for the 35 years ago - it wasn't as common. A light bulb went on for me and it flipped a switch. I was like, "Wow, this could really help me and it could make me feel a lot better." And it did help me a little bit.

As an athlete, I found it late. That was my junior year, but it really changed my life. I just really got involved in mental health around athletes and mental skills coaching, mental performance as it pertains to athletes in sports just became my life's work.

Jordan Denaver:  Nice. All right, so then into our first question. In your experience, what are the mental health challenges that athletes may face during their participation in sports?

Lauren Becker Rubin:  Great, so athletes face a lot of the same mental health challenges that everybody does. It just gets ramped up a little bit because we're performing. Athletes are on a public stage, so everything they're doing is out in the open and then there's the pressure of winning or losing or playing. The mental health issues are similar. Stress, anxiety, pressure, worry, a lot of fear - fear of losing, fear of winning, fear of embarrassment, fear of getting injured, fear of losing social status, fear of losing your position - so there's a lot of fear of worry, stress, anxiety about performing.

I would say embarrassment is a big one that affects mental health. There's also injury really plays into mental health issues, not playing, being left out, being isolated plays in. I'd say a big one that really affects mental health is loss of identity. If you get injured or maybe you're not playing or maybe you're not the star anymore, athletes identify as being athletes and for their whole lives that's their number one thing and then all of a sudden it's either over or it's taken away, so struggling with identity really affects what's my next identity? What else do I identify with? Affects mental health as well.

Jordan Denaver:  Definitely, I've experienced that too as an athlete. It's definitely tough.

Lauren Becker Rubin:  Yes. I think one of the hardest things for athletes, especially the higher you get at collegiate level, pro, Olympian is when you don't play, whether that's somebody else is playing in front of you or you're injured and it's taken away from you, it's very difficult to process those feelings and it definitely weighs on your mental and emotional wellbeing.

Jordan Denaver:  Speaking to that, what are some positive mental health benefits that athletes can experience?

Lauren Becker Rubin:  There are a lot of them, and one of the biggest is social connection. I remember reading maybe 10 or 15 years ago an article from the “Happiness Lab” at Harvard that said the number one indicator of wellbeing is social connection. Being part of a team, being with people really bumps up wellbeing and mental health. The other pieces of participating in and benefits of athletics is you're part of something bigger than yourself, you're finding meaning and purpose, you're all working towards a common goal, so there's some shared humanity in that. That shared humanity when you win feels good, but also shared humanity when you lose and you have other people to work through it, and those are all really good health benefits.

The other things that athletics has shown to do is build resilience. It shows us we can do hard things. It makes us more adaptable, and because you never know if you're going to win or lose, you have to start learning how to manage emotions around that, and that's very correlated to life. There's ups and downs, there's good things, there's bad things. You have to learn to be able to manage your emotions around that and athletics really helps you do that.

Jordan Denaver:  I think one of my favorite things about working with Haverford College on the lacrosse field is being a part of that team. I love the sport, but on the other hand I love being a part of the team and being with the girls.

Lauren Becker Rubin:  That makes a lot of sense. Connection, community is just so huge for wellbeing and mental health.

Jordan Denaver:  I think we touched on it a little bit, but then on the other hand, what are some potential negative mental health impacts that athletes may encounter?

Lauren Becker Rubin:  They're there for sure. Athletes tend to be very hard driving, type A, on a mission, goal oriented, so with that comes some issues around perfectionism and not feeling good enough, not meeting moments which could lead to some issues with low self-esteem. There is the managing the emotions around stress and pressure and anxiety of games. We did touch on a little bit sometimes when you're injured or maybe you're not playing, you could feel a little bit isolated. That I think some of the other negative things that happened with athletics is maybe some shame around not performing. Then one of the biggest things that could be negative is if it's a toxic culture or toxic coach or toxic teammates and you're in that environment all the time, that really could be negatively impacting your mental health.

Jordan Denaver:  Definitely. All right, so what do you think are the mental health differences in competing in sports on a competitive level versus recreationally?

Lauren Becker Rubin:  It's a great question, and I'm not an expert on recreational sports, but I have read a ton of research and there's a lot of literature out there that about just the benefits of exercise and movement. If you're doing something recreationally, whether it's walking or yoga or Zumba or playing tennis for fun or running a 5K just to collect the T-shirts and it's something that you're doing for fun, it increases mood, it builds the positive feel good hormones. Again, there's social connection in that, and there's a lot of benefits around fun, having fun and a lot of research these days on just doing play. We play as kids and that's one of the most enjoyable parts of the day, but then as we get older, we start losing that playfulness. Doing things recreationally is play, and play enhances a lot of wellbeing, and on a physical, emotional, mental level, we just feel better.

I do want to say there are a lot of health benefits for competitive sports too, and we touched on a little bit about meeting and purpose and being part of a community, but sometimes people throw around the term like pressure is a privilege, and what's behind that is if you're feeling pressure, it means what you're doing is important to you. If you're involved in something that's important to you, there's going to be some benefits there by seeing it through, so there are health benefits of that pressure and of that competition that add to the movement, the exercise, the fun, the social connection that you get recreationally. There are benefits for both, but I think recreational athletes are enhancing mood, they're connecting, they're feeling good, they're having fun, they're playing. There's a ton of benefits there as well.

Jordan Denaver:  Yeah, I agree. I think the pressure of the competitive play definitely works into some of the mental health effects for college athletes.

Lauren Becker Rubin:  And I feel we'll talk about it, but it's how you interpret pressure, which really correlates directly to your mental wellbeing and your mental health. If you feel pressure is something that helps you, helps you get ready, helps you get your body activated, helps you focus because this is something that's really important, then it's a positive benefit. If pressure really makes you shrink and it really makes you worry and it really raises your cortisol and all the not so good hormones, then it's a negative. A lot of it comes to how you interpret what's going on.

Jordan Denaver:  Then on that note, are there any unique challenges or stressors that elite athletes face in terms of their mental health?

Lauren Becker Rubin:  Here's really interesting and what I've found in my practice working with youth, high school, college, and even professional athletes, the challenges are similar. Even the youth athletes and working with the 12 year-olds right now, they feel frustration, they feel stressed, they feel pressure, they have anxiety over performance, they worry about things, so many of the challenges are the same. I think for elite athletes, what makes them unique, and this is college, pros, Olympic athletes, is that they need to be “all in”. They need to be solely focused and it's not a balanced life.

One of my favorite people in the mental performance space right now is David Goggins. And in his last book he called it “Savage Mode”. Elite athletes have to be in savage mode all the time, and that means you have to be selfish, you have to prioritize yourself, you have to prioritize your mission or your goal. I think sometimes that puts you at odds with people in your life. Relationships suffer. I think people judge you. I think it's a little bit isolating. People don't understand you, they want to bring you down.

So I think that is a real challenge for somebody who's trying to be elite, where they just have to be all in, solely focused, very selfish. I think the consequences of that is that people don't get them, and people want to judge you and they want to bring you down or tell you what you're doing is not balanced, but I think it's very hard to be balanced and be elite. I think when you're on that path to being elite, you have to have your blinders on and be all in to get what, to accomplish what you want to accomplish.

Jordan Denaver:  I think just to tie into the pressure, I think especially on an elite level, maybe higher up college like D1 or pros, the pressure of a fan base too really plays into the pressure that athletes feel.

Lauren Becker Rubin:  I think you're absolutely right. I think social media and fans and money and contracts. Imagine an Olympic sprinter who trains for four years and then has 10 seconds to do their craft. I just think that everything we talked about, pressure, stress, anxiety, worry, isolation, just really ramps up the higher you get.

Jordan Denaver:  That ties into our next question a bit. How do you think societal expectations, performance pressure, and competition affect an athlete's mental wellbeing?

Lauren Becker Rubin:  This is a great question because this is the work, and I'm going to give you a roundabout answer to that and not direct answer only because the answer to that is it depends, it depends on the work behind how you allow that to affect you. How it affects you depends on what your skill set is, what your tools are, what your strategies are, and then this is absolutely the mental skills work or the mental performance work or the sports psychology work. It's about having skills and tools and techniques and strategies to manage societal expectations, the performance pressure, the emotions, the competitions, because at the end of the day or the beginning of the day, all those things are always going to be there. The pressure, the emotions, the adversity, the challenges, the social media, the judgment, all of that is going to be there, but if you have skills and you work on the skills and you practice and you train that part of your life or the game, then you have some techniques and strategies to work through those.

One of the things I really like to say is mental toughness and mental performance, managing the mental part of sports is directly linked to mental wellbeing. The skills translate, the more you train and develop the skills that help you perform, the more skills tool strategy you have for mental wellbeing and mental health. The work is training it and the work is doing and the work is having it be part of your daily protocol, building a platform so that when societal expectations ramp up or when you're preparing, feeling performance pressure and it's always going to be there, the adversity, the challenges, the setbacks, it's always going to be there. You have skills to help you navigate it so that it directly correlates to how it's going to affect you. The more skills you have, the more you work on it, the more it becomes part of your daily protocol, the more you can catch it and work with it. Does that make sense to you?

Jordan Denaver:  Yeah, that definitely makes sense. I think especially as you gain more experience, you just know how to deal with the mental pressures of playing at elite levels and just the performance pressure in general and societal expectations.

Lauren Becker Rubin:  And I think the more you replenish yourself, you bolster yourself up with things like breath mechanics and mindset or visualization and imagery, focus, working on resiliency, working on your belief system or limiting beliefs. All of this skill, all of these skill sets becomes part of your toolkit, so then when you're feeling that performance pressure or you're not feeling your best physically, you don't go down a rabbit hole, you go back to... I know with the team sometimes we use physical things like pound your chest, get your energy up, or maybe some EFT to bring down your stress and your anxiety. There's lots of skills and tools that you know can just proactively set yourself up to be in a better place, show up as your best version of yourself, but be able to reset quickly. All of those things weigh into how does it affect you? It affects you different ways when you have skills to counter it or to proactively set yourself up to be in a better place even before that happens.

Jordan Denaver:  Our team does love the heart tap.

Lauren Becker Rubin:  Tap your chest or get big, expand yourself, take up space to feel power. There's just lots of anchors and tools that we can use to help ourselves navigate that, those pressures, because they're always going to be there. It doesn't go away. We just get better, more adaptable and more flexible with working with it and that directly ties into our wellbeing. That's the coolest part of the mental health and mental performances are tied together. We work on skills for helping us play better, but those same skills help us feel better, our overall mental health.

Jordan Denaver:  That's very true. All right, so what role does the team environment and social support play in promoting positive mental health among athletes?

Lauren Becker Rubin:  If the team culture is good, then we're talking about community. Again, connection, fun, shared experience, being in a group, striving for something bigger than ourselves. There's so many positive environmental and social support benefits of being part of a team. There's also teamwork and leadership opportunities, trust building, all these things are great for mental health. Then the vice versa is also true. If the culture's not good, if there are toxic teammates, then the environment weighs in a negative way, but being part of groups is really a great social support network if it's a positive culture. Do you feel that way on your team? On the field stuff helps off the field stuff. We're striving to win games and win championships, but then your group becomes your social support network off the field as well, I would imagine.

Jordan Denaver:  Exactly. My best friends are the girls on my team, and I think we work really hard on building up our team culture, so that takes a lot of time to build that team culture outside of sports and outside of practice and that's why doing a lot of team activities, just like getting to know one another and building that culture and that trust outside of the field, it helps so much. Then you'll see that trust and that support play out onto the field when we're playing games and during practice. I think that's so important.

Lauren Becker Rubin:  Yep. It's bidirectional. It really is on the field, off the field. I love that you used the word trust, because trust and confidence go together. In fact, I think the root of the word confidence is an inner or intense trust, so the culture builds trust, trust builds confidence. The more you trust each other, the more confident you are, the better you play. The more you love each other, the better you play. It is really bidirectional, so culture, environmental, social support really is very entwined.

Jordan Denaver:  I remember it was a semifinal game of this past year and our coach, Coach Zichelli, she said that you need to play for your teammates. I think that speaks a lot to what we're talking about. She's like, "Play for your teammates, play for your seniors who are leaving." So I think it's a lot for just playing for each other and in that way you tend to play well because you're playing for each other. You want to boost people up, you want to show off your teammates, and I think it just all ties together very well in the field.

Lauren Becker Rubin:  I love that concept. Playing for something bigger than yourself, playing for each other really helps us step up into the moment because we don't want to let people down, we care about them, we love and it really brings out the best in us, so I love that concept.

Jordan Denaver:  All right. Next, how do you think athletes can take care of their mental health while participating in sports?

Lauren Becker Rubin:  I think this is an important question and I'm glad that you're bringing it up to the forefront because it's not always upfront. Sometimes it's in the back in crisis, what do we do? So I feel like having it upfront, making athletes know that they have resources. I think how athletes can take care of themselves is to use their available resources, teammates, coaches, counseling centers, mental performance coach like myself, know that those resources are there and don't be afraid to use them and ask for help. Don't hide it. That's another way that you can take care of yourself. We need to change the stigma around mental health, that it's a weakness and by bringing it up, it's really a strength. That means you're working on something just like we would do a physical skill. In lacrosse, if your non-dominant hand isn't strong enough, you work on it. If your mental health, if you're struggling with mental health, you work on it, you don't hide it, you don't lock it away.

And I would say one of the biggest things, ways an athlete can take care of their mental health is to be proactive. Meaning make this part of your daily protocol. Do things every day that build your foundation and get that foundation as big as possible. What I mean by that is sleep, nutrition, working on recovery, maybe meditation, watching funny movies, doing social things that are fun, having friends, going out in the sun or nature, getting a massage every now and then. Every day as an athlete you're doing a lot of things that are depleting yourself, physical exertion, mental exertion, stress, pressure around your sport. You have everything that's depleting you. Not to mention in a college setting all the academic pressure. You have to balance that out with things that replete you, replenish you, and you have to do that daily, know what those things are.

And if it becomes part of your daily protocol, then every day you're having mini wins, mini win, mini win, mini win, mini win. What that does, it adds up to big wins and it builds this great foundation of strength so that when you do have a setback or you might be feeling a little bit off or something really knocks you over the head that you weren't expecting, you're coming at it from a more replenished space. The biggest way I think to help with dealing with mental health is to build up wellbeing and make it part of your daily protocol so that when you do get whammied, you've got some resource already built in.

Jordan Denaver:  Yeah, I agree. I think having that framework is so important, so that you can fall back onto what you know and what skills you've built. Are there any strategies or interventions that coaches, trainers or sports organizations can implement to support the mental health of athletes?

Lauren Becker Rubin:  I think the biggest strategy is to normalize the conversation around mental health. Just normalize it. Just like we normalize that sports are hard and that it's going to take some effort and we're going to get knocked down and get back up. We normalize that life is hard. I think we have to normalize that there are mental health issues with athletes, and when we normalize it then we aren't afraid to talk about it. I also think that coaches and trainers can bring in resources, they can bring in a mental skills coach like myself. They can bring in counseling, they can bring in speakers, they can bring in resources like books or articles or webinars that normalize that, "Hey, this is mental health issues are part of life of being an athlete and things are going to come up and we can talk about it."

I think the other biggest strategy that coaches, trainers, or organizations can layer in is bringing fun to whatever they're doing. Just because you're training hard and you're trying to be the best version of yourself as an athlete, win games, win championships doesn't mean it can't be fun. I did read a research article about this. The best teams, the most accomplished teams over time combine two things and that is grit. Angela Duckworth from Penn has written a lot about hard work over time, perseverance over time, that's grit. You have to do the gritty work, you have to get in there and you have to do the hard stuff, but when you add it to fun, grit, and fun, that's when teams are most successful. That's when athletes are most successful, so I think in a proactive intervention besides the resources and besides normalizing, just make it fun. Make it fun, make it enjoyable, and that really helps support athletes' mental health.

Jordan Denaver:  We talked a lot on our team is bringing the fun back into the sport because I think when you're younger, that's everything that you have really is the fun and the love that you have of the sport you're playing, but as you enter the more competitive level like college, pros, you lose that fun and now you're suddenly just in this space where you're just working to win or you're working in this competitive, this nature and you lose the fun that you used to have as a child and the love that used to have for the sport sometimes. We focus a lot on trying to have fun and bringing back the love that we have for the sport because that's why we play it.

Lauren Becker Rubin:  I love that you're talking about it and that it's an emphasis, because I think it gets lost a lot in college sports where it becomes a job and you lose the fun. I think it really not only affects performance and success on the field, but it definitely affects mental health and wellbeing. I love the fact that you talk about it and that it's part of your culture.

Jordan Denaver:  All right. Next, are there any specific warning signs or indicators that athletes, coaches or peers should be aware of to identify mental health issues in athletes?

Lauren Becker Rubin:  This is a great question and it's a great thing to have some awareness around because sometimes there are no signs. Sometimes, especially for athletes, they want to suffer in silence and they're afraid of the stigma or the shame around mental health issues and the stigma or the idea that athletes have to be tough and strong and show no weakness. Sometimes there are no signs, and that's really tricky when some major mental health crisis happens, everyone says, "How come I didn't see it?" But a lot of times there aren't any signs.

Here are sometimes signs that come up that you could look for: different behavior. Is somebody who's normally social not going out and isolating themselves? Maybe somebody's drinking more or someone who used to drink is not drinking alcohol and drugs. A change in behavior, like someone who is normally loud and social, is being really quiet. Other signs might be someone skipping team functions, maybe sleeping a lot, or maybe you have a teammate that's going home every weekend, that could be a sign that something's going on. Then some of the more obvious signs is someone's just unhappy or they're appearing depressed or somebody is losing a lot of weight or gaining a lot of weight.

The signs are look for differences, somebody's acting, looking, behaving differently. It could be a sign that something is going on behind the scenes that they're not expressing outwardly, but they're trying to deal with inwardly. I would say another thing to look for is if you have a teammate, is it who's injured? I think being injured really plays into mental health and mental wellbeing for athletes because again, you're pulled out of what you identify with and what you love and it's very isolating. If you have a teammate that's injured, I would definitely check in with them and make sure they're okay and make sure they're still feeling included.

Jordan Denaver:  I can speak firsthand to that because I've been injured and I've spent time on the sidelines because of an injury, and watching your teammates play and on the field, it's really hard sometimes knowing that you can't be out there to help them or support them and that your role on the team has changed in a way, especially when the injuries are potentially season ending. It's very difficult.

Lauren Becker Rubin:  For sure. How did it affect your mental health and how did you work through some of those things?

Jordan Denaver:  It was hard. I was out for I think five, six months. I think I recognized that my role on the team was different, that I was on the sidelines and that I had to be more of a cheerleader and less of a contributor on the field, but then I think there was also a lot of hope that I will come back soon, which is also scary too, because coming back from an injury and you haven't played in six months, that's really tough too, but I think the team's very good about it. I think also making sure that you're not isolating yourself. Still maybe attending practices and just watching, still attending those games, still attending other team activities to keep yourself integrated even while injured is super important.

Lauren Becker Rubin:  Well, I want to applaud you. You used a lot of great skills and when you're in a difficult time, sometimes it's really hard to find the things that pull you out of it. One of the biggest pieces of working on mental skills, mental health, mental performance is not being stuck, not being either stuck in one place or spiraling backwards. Do we want to keep moving? And part of keeping moving is shifting out of it. I love that you said I needed to find a new role. If we can use our mindset, "Okay, I'm not on the field, but what role can I take? How else can I look at this where I can be the best teammate? Or maybe I could be a good scout or maybe I could watch film." So you're shifting your mindset to find a different role is a great skill.

And you also use the word hope. Having hope, having faith, believing in things that you don't necessarily have all the proof of yet keeps you moving forward and it keeps you on a path of, "Hey, this could work out, this could be good." So those are all great strategies to keep you from staying stuck where you were or spiraling backwards. Great job of keeping yourself working on... Using tools to get you moving in the right direction.

Jordan Denaver:  Thank you. Let's see what's next. What steps can be taken to reduce the stigma surrounding mental health in sports? I think we touched on this a little bit.

Lauren Becker Rubin:  Some of the things we mentioned about normalizing it and bringing resources I think helps reduce the stigma. I think on a broader level, I know that the NCAA is doing a lot of research and work and education on this topic where they are providing resources to colleges just to make them aware that this is an issue. In fact, I read one of the NCAA research studies they did where they found that for collegiate athletes, 24% of male athletes experienced some mental health issues and 36% of female athletes surveyed expressed mental health issues. I do know that also self-reporting is lower, so it's probably even a little higher than that.

I think education and providing resources by the NCAA would help on the collegiate level, but I really think what helps reduce the stigma is when people step up and talk about what's going on with them. Like Michael Phelps talking about anxiety and other pro athletes like Simone Biles in the Olympics, her anxiety got to her. Kevin Love in the NBA was talking about pressure and stress and some of his issues, and Naomi Osaka from the tennis world. When professional athletes step up and say, "I am working on this, I'm dealing with this. It's not preventing me necessarily from performing, I just have to manage it, influence it, control it, work on it, but it's part, it's there for me." I think it really helps normalize it and it just shows that everybody's human and it's okay not to be okay.

I want to take it into the weeds just a little bit further and say, I think the culture around this could start changing in youth sports. The message just tough it out, run through walls, get up, when someone might be having a mental health crisis is not the right message. We have to do hard things at athletes and we have to push ourselves, and getting out of our comfort zone is one of the most important things that we have to learn how to do, but I think if coaches have an awareness and players have an awareness that there could be something else going on, then there's more language around it, there's more education around it, there's more compassion around it, and it becomes more normalized as part of, this is part of sports, this is part of life, this is part of who we are and let's have some resources to work on it.

Jordan Denaver:  I agree. I think it does start younger because those messages start a little bit less, so when you're younger and they really build as you get older. I think too, having more public figures, spread awareness on it too helps people like college athletes, high school athletes recognize that they're not alone in their anxiety. That these people performing at super high levels also feel it too. I think that's really helpful. I think just spreading awareness of it will help reduce the stigma for sure.

Lauren Becker Rubin:  Right. I agree with you. Kristin Neff, who's a psychologist that specializes in self-compassion is out there with her method, which is breathing and mindfulness, but a piece of that is shared humanity. “Other people are going through this, I'm not alone.” I think as athletes, one of the most difficult things that we struggle with is being compassionate to ourselves because we're so used to being tough and strong and do hard things, but the research that doesn't support that is that when we're more compassionate to ourselves, when we don't play well, when we make a mistake, when we lose, when we're having a mental health crisis, the quicker we actually rebound and reset. That compassion piece is really important. I think the more we normalize it and the more education is out there and the more the culture changes around it, the more compassionate we are to ourselves, actually, the better we can cope with the setbacks and the struggles, because like I said, they're going to be there. That's part of life, that's part of sports. The more we normalize it and then the more we can manage it.

Jordan Denaver:  I agree. All right. Are there any notable research findings or studies that have explored the mental health impacts of participating in sports? I know you mentioned a couple.

Lauren Becker Rubin:  Yep. I mentioned the NCAA one. In fact, I went to that lecture and heard the psychologist that works with the NCAA delivered just how prevalent their mental health issues are with collegiate athletes because of the pressure and there's money and scholarship and losing your college education tied into it, so that's really high. I did read a research article from the American College of Sports Medicine recently that said 35% of elite athletes struggle with mental health issues including eating disorders, burnout, depression, anxiety, social anxiety. At the elite level there is also a lot of mental health issues. There are pros too. I've read plenty of research on what participating in sports, the positive parts, it improves psychological well being, it can improve self-esteem, it can lower depression, anxiety and stress. I read articles where participating in athletics decreases suicidal behavior and substance abuse and reckless behavior, and that piece is maybe being accountable to teammates and to the team.

There's definitely a lot of research on increasing resilience, confidence, empowerment, empathy, just because you're going through shared things. A big thing about participating is increasing healthy habits. When you are active and you're participating in sports, it bubbles over into other parts of your life. You're eating better, you're not doing substance things that you just get on a path. There is a lot of research both ways and I think the research is still developing here, and also the research around how to deal with the pros and the cons is developing as well. It's a rapidly changing space around research and interventions, both positive and negative.

Jordan Denaver:  I think having you speak to our team, I think it's almost biweekly at this point, is so helpful. I know it helps the girls and me too so much, and I think that's a big thing too. Bringing in people to speak to the team and to speak to these issues that are a little bit more stigmatized helps normalize it, because it brings you into a space where you can talk about it, where you have resources to air mental health issues.

Lauren Becker Rubin:  I agree. I think the more you talk about it, the more resources, the more... What's really cool about this space and why I think I'm so passionate about it, as you can tell I love it, is it's ancient wisdom and modern science. The people I've been talking about, a lot of these things, the ancient stoics and Buddha and a lot for years, and now modern science is catching up and the research is backing. Breathing, compassion, visualization, self-talk. All of the tools that we're using are now research-backed, so the ancient wisdom is being supported by the modern science, and I love marrying the two. Giving a concept about manifestation, put it out there the way you want it to happen, and then having research back it up. It's a lot of fun to have the two worlds combined together.

Jordan Denaver:  Actually I've used a lot of the breathing techniques just completely outside of sports. Just any anxiety or stress I'm feeling like, "Okay, I'm going to do a box breath right now." And it's so helpful. It really is.

Lauren Becker Rubin:  I love hearing that. Obviously I want you to be the best lacrosse player that you can be and be the best version of yourself as an athlete, but I really want you to be the best version of yourself as a human being. That's why mental performance and mental health directly intersect. What's so amazing about what I do and why I'm so in love with the mental performance world is because these skills translate to life. The fact that you're using it for anxiety off the field or stress or pressure or in relationships is just really satisfying. What I hope I'm doing is creating opportunities for the athletes and the teams that I work with to reach their full potential, to be their best versions of themselves on the field and off the field.

Jordan Denaver:  And as you said before, a lot of the negative mental health issues that athletes face or a lot of just normal issues that non-athletes face and it just ties more into playing sports. Those are still stressors that people feel outside and breathing techniques and even the heart tap, that helps a lot. It's completely outside of lacrosse and sports.

Lauren Becker Rubin:  Yes, for sure.

Jordan Denaver:  All right, then I think it's our last question. Do you have any final words of advice or anything else you'd like to share with our listeners today?

Lauren Becker Rubin:  The biggest piece of advice, and ironically when I'm first working with an individual athlete or a team, I often lead with this because I feel it's so important. The advice is that mental toughness, mental strength, mental mastery, mental health is not about making it all go away. It's not about making the stress, the anxiety, the pressure, the challenges, depression, fear, worry. It's not about making it go away. It's really about hanging in there long enough so that you can shift, that you can shift out of it, that you can create enough space and awareness that, "Hey, this is going on." And then start using your tools and your strategies.

If you can recognize that these things are normal, start with the premise that life is hard, sports is hard, these things are going to happen. Hang out in it long enough that you can start using your tools, your strategies, your techniques to shift out of it, to move a little bit to get on a different path. I think that's my biggest advice is hang in there long enough that you can shift. Part of that shift though is building the resources on your own with other people, using support so that you have tools and strategies to help you shift out of it, but just to summarize, the advice is don't think that it's good feel... Feelings and emotions are not good or bad, they're just information. Use all the information, hang out long enough, shift out of it. Use your tools, your resources so that you can keep moving down another path.

I think most of us want to close the gap to where we are now and where we want to be, and the work that around the skills, around mental performance, around mental health helps us keep moving towards where we want to be, but where we're now is part of it and it's normal and sometimes it's difficult. When we go in with that mindset, then we're more adaptable, we're more anti-fragile, more flexible, and having that mindset that, "Hey, we could get knocked down, but we're going to get back up. We're going to learn, we're going to grow." Like a growth mindset that we talk about a lot with the team. It keeps us moving, so my advice is build up your resources, have tools, have strategies, know that it's going to be hard, that there's going to be setbacks. Hang out long enough that you can shift out of it and just try to keep moving.

And then my last piece of advice is don't suffer in silence. Get help, reach out, use your support, use your networks. Don't think you have to do it alone. My last piece of advice, sorry, I'll wrap it up, but growth happens when we get outside of our comfort zone and that's called adaptability. Sometimes people call it anti-fragility, but when we stress ourselves, we grow, but our body and our mind, our emotions, our thoughts, all of that stuff, we don't like to be outside of our comfort zone. When we get out of our comfort zone, what happens is we adapt and that adaption keeps us on the path of wellbeing and positive mental health. Getting stretched and getting out of our comfort zone, getting knocked back, initially it's not going to feel good, but with resources and with skills, we'll adapt to it and we'll grow. Adaption and growth is mental health and mental wellbeing, so stay in the fight long enough to grow and to adapt, and that's how we can build our mental health and our overall mental wellbeing.

Jordan Denaver:  I completely agree. I think that's some great advice. Thank you so much for doing this and for joining the Seattle Interview Series.

Lauren Becker Rubin:  You bet. Thanks for having me. It was a lot of fun.

Please note: The views expressed by the interviewee are for educational and informational purposes only, are not meant to diagnose or treat any condition, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Seattle Anxiety Specialists, PLLC.


Editor: Jennifer (Ghahari) Smith, Ph.D.

Therapist Jim McDonnell on High-Stress Employment

An Interview with Therapist Jim McDonnell

Jim McDonnell, LMFT is a Psychotherapist at Seattle Anxiety Specialists. He specializes in working with clients in the tech industry and high-stress environments. Jim also has extensive training and experience providing couples therapy and family therapy.

Anna Kiesewetter:  Hi, thank you so much for joining us today on this installment of the Seattle Psychiatrist Interview Series. My name is Anna Kiesewetter and I'm a research intern at Seattle Anxiety Specialists. I'd like to welcome with us today our own Seattle Anxiety Specialist psychotherapist, Jim McDonnell. Before becoming a therapist, Jim had a successful career in technology across two decades. With his experience as a researcher at NASA's Ames Research Center, as a senior program manager at Microsoft, and also as a senior business intelligence analyst at T-Mobile, Jim is an excellent resource for clients working in high-stress careers. So before we get started, could you please just tell us a little bit more about yourself?

Jim McDonnell:  Sure. Hi, Anna. Nice to meet you and thanks for organizing and running this. A little about me. I grew up in New York. I was raised just north of New York City. I've spent years in the restaurant industry, and then I transitioned into technology. I worked in startup companies in Silicon Valley and then moved up to Seattle, worked in the tech industry in Seattle for a number of years. I'm an outdoor enthusiast. I like being outside in the woods. I love to exercise and keep my body in shape. It helps my mind stay clean and clear. I'm a father, my daughter's in college, and I don't know what else to say beyond that. Yeah.

Anna Kiesewetter:  Yeah. That's awesome. So you mentioned you worked in tech in Silicon Valley before you came up to Seattle. Could you tell us a little bit more about what got you interested in making that switch?

Jim McDonnell:  Sure. The switch from being in tech to a therapist?

Anna Kiesewetter:  Yeah.

Jim McDonnell:  I've always enjoyed helping people and making people feel better. When I was younger I used humor a lot to do that. I can make people laugh relatively easily, and if a friend had fallen down and hurt himself, or if something happened, I would sort of employ goofiness and jokes and physical comedy and stuff to bring someone out of their sadness into happiness and laughter and sort of lighten the mood. And I really leaned into that early in my life. I was a joker, a jokester, a prankster, and I just liked laughter.

I also loved gadgets and technology and loved programming and trying different... I was always sort of buying the latest gadgets when I was a kid. I had these electronic dictionaries in the early '80s when they were super rare and I loved them. I was a bartender and I was going to college. My undergrad is in industrial organizational psychology. I had a research methodology focus so when I graduated, I got a job at a startup company doing statistical analysis and database programming. I really loved that.

And so I sort of left the helping laughter stuff behind and really leaned into this, and the whole country and the world was sort of embracing this and I thought maybe I was going to be a gazillionaire and get all sorts of stock options and stuff like that. And I pursued that for many years, but in the background was always this desire to be a helper.

And I should point out that I originally wanted to be a therapist when I was in college. And I had an advisor who, for whatever reason, I'm assuming their reasons were sound, but they advised me against it. So I was in a bit of an existential crisis, like, “Who am I? What's my purpose in this world?” And so I leaned into the research methodology. I still wanted to be in the psychology domain, but I, for whatever reason, just accepted that fact that I couldn't be a therapist. So I went that route.

And so for many years I was leaning into that. I really enjoyed my time in technology, in the tech industry. I really loved the people that I was working with and the projects I was on. But there was this sort of transition in my mind where I was becoming a bit disillusioned with the industry. I wasn't finding deep meaning in it. And it wasn't really resonating with this core value of wanting to be helpful to the world and to reduce suffering.


And so, as I progressed through my career, I started getting closer to a point in my life where maybe some people have a midlife crisis or something like that, and I just was like, "I'm no longer satisfied. I'm not happy." I was actually super anxious. I was having panic attacks and anxiety attacks in the workplace. And then I decided to make a change. So I had some people in my life that were pushing me towards this. They recognized that I had particular skills and personality temperaments, and some gifts and traits that would be really, really helpful to people. I actually received formal training in being a therapist.

So I made the choice to just try. I applied to a couple of graduate programs. I was accepted and I kept saying, "Okay, I'm going to do this for a semester. If I don't like it, I can always just drop out and I still have..." I was working full time my first year in graduate school. So I was holding down a 50-hour-a-week job and I was going to classes and working in the classroom while I was learning. I just really liked it. It resonated with me. And so I've just stayed with it.

I think the question was what prompted the shift. It was sort of like this awakening. To be more specific, my father passed away when he was 46. I was 46 at the time, around the time that I wanted to be a therapist. I was maybe 44 when I finally decided to start applying to graduate schools. But it was sort of like, "What am I doing with my life?" If I was my dad, I would've been two years away from death. "Is this the legacy I want to leave for myself?" That really pushed me out of my comfort zone, as well.

So all of that is the reason why I shifted out. Looking for more meaning, finding something that was better aligned with my skills and my values and partially just sort of a life cycle change of like, "What do I want next for myself?"

Anna Kiesewetter:  Wow, that's really powerful. I think it's really inspiring that you pushed forward to doing that, making that change and showing what you value. Do you feel like you kind of fulfilled that, that kind of wanting to find more of your life's values in the change, the switch between careers?

Jim McDonnell:  Yes. When I first started off in graduate school, my vision was to be working more with youth and teens. And so I did that at a community mental health during my internship, and it turns out it wasn't a great fit for me. It wasn't really aligning with my passions and through, I would say, serendipity, maybe, what's the word, synchronicity. Some kind of, if you want to think more spiritually, woo-ish. I found Seattle Anxiety Specialists when I was looking for a group practice. And the more that I started thinking about the practice's mission and the focus area of specifically treating anxiety disorders, the more it just sort of was like, "Duh, you've been anxious your whole life."

So to be able to help people who are in the industry that I used to be in, learn how to recognize why they're anxious, to help interrupt feedback loops and disrupt patterns that reinforce their anxiety and to find more confidence in themselves, in their ability to experience distress, to reduce how long it lasts and how intense it is, and to just generally understand how their particular mind works and why it responds a certain way, is so fulfilling to me.

I go to sleep at night happy, knowing that I haven't helped every single person in the world, I'm never going to eradicate all of the distress on the planet, but every person that I interact with, from a client-therapist relationship, I feel like I'm doing the best job that I can to make the world closer to being in that state than it was before I started, if that makes sense.

Anna Kiesewetter:  That's amazing. How do you think that being in the tech industry yourself has helped you to help these people now that you're working with them? Especially people who have been working in tech industries?

Jim McDonnell:  Yeah. I mean, I don't know what it's like to work at every single company. I don't have a visceral understanding of every company culture. I've never worked at Amazon or Google or Facebook or Apple. So I don't know what it's like specifically to work at those companies. And I know what it's like to work, generally speaking, in the industry. I know the expectations that are put on people. I understand how software is created and managed. So project management perspectives and program management perspectives and different kinds of software development methodologies.

I understand those enough to be able to speak the language of the person. So when they come to me and they're trying to describe what's going on in their life, they don't have to explain the culture of the company. They don't have to explain why it's stressful. I get it and I am able to speak their language. I use metaphors a lot in the work that I do and I bridge kind of how we go from, this is the way the product is now and here's how we want the product to be in the next revision, and here's what we're doing to make that happen and here's our timeline and our plan and all of the schedules and milestones.

And I kind of use that same approach for mental health. So here's how you are right now, version, whatever, one, of you. And then you want a new version where you're not as anxious and you're not as stressed out and you have a more adaptive response to these stressors. What do we have to do to get you from here to there? How long is it going to take? How do we know we're making progress? How do we measure progress along the way?

So that sort of understanding, being able to speak the language. I know the different terminologies and review cycles and pressures and sort of the cultural contextual factors that are feeding and reinforcing the anxiety. I'm really rambling on a bit here, but it's helpful for me and I think my clients appreciate that I have been in similar spaces to them and understand, generally speaking, what it's like and why it's stressful. So I think that's probably the best way that I can answer that question. It's just like there's familiarity with the context and yeah, I'll leave it there.

Anna Kiesewetter:  Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. You mentioned anxiety is one of the things that you see a lot in people experiencing workplace stress and having to deal with these issues. What other kinds of areas or symptoms or disorders do you often see in your patients who are working in high-stress environments?

Jim McDonnell:  Other symptoms? Well, if we're thinking about this from an experiential perspective, like what are they experiencing? Obsessive, intrusive thoughts that are generating distress, physiological distress. So there's muscle tension and dysregulated breathing and fidgeting, elevated heart rate, perspiration, that sort of thing, racing thoughts. Really, there's a lot of what are we call cognitive distortions in cognitive behavioral therapy. So a lot of stories that people are telling themselves about what's happening now and what's going to happen in the future.

Anxiety's generally a future-oriented experience. We're thinking about the future and we're worried about it. And then the predictions that we make. Our mind is a model maker, modeling the future constantly, trying to figure out how to make sense of the world. And that model has some distortions in it. Maybe it's predicting a tragedy constantly. Like, "This is only going to turn out bad," or we can only see things either or, either good or bad. I think I've forgotten the question. I'm a little lost in my answer now. Can you restate that question so I can refine it?

Anna Kiesewetter:  Yeah, of course. Of course. I was asking what kinds of typical, or maybe not typical, but what kinds of different symptoms and disorders do you see in people who are experiencing high-stress work environments?

Jim McDonnell:  Right, yeah, so symptoms versus disorders. The disorders tend to be generalized anxiety disorder. There's a lot of obsessive-compulsive disorder, but maybe less on the traditional or the technical way of interpreting that diagnosis. I look for obsessional thought patterns and disturbing, intrusive thoughts, and then compulsive responses to that. Things that people are doing in response to those thoughts that try to protect themselves from it.

I see a lot of that OCD, generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, so people who, really, just there's runaway anxiety that leads to panic attacks, depression, as a result of that. So when you start to feel scared about your future over and over and over again, you can't figure out how to solve a problem, you end up becoming hopeless about the future. And so you can have people experiencing depression and anxiety simultaneously, which is a double whammy. That's not very fun.

I'm trying to think if there's other things. That is generally the areas that I focus on, things that I'm looking for or listening for. And then all of the physical symptoms that people are describing or experiencing, and the cognitive side of that as well. And the behavioral side of it. So what behavioral choices are people making? And again, it's typically in response to some sort of a trigger that's dysregulating a person, cognitively and physiologically, and then in response to that, they're making choices to protect themselves somehow. And sometimes it's just like fight, flight, freeze sorts of choices. Yeah.

Anna Kiesewetter:  I see. So when you're experiencing the patients with these different symptoms and disorders, can you talk a little bit about your treatment approach and how you approach therapy with these people?

Jim McDonnell:  Yeah. I'm generally using cognitive behavioral therapy as a therapeutic modality. I lead with a discussion around... How do I want to answer this question? My goal is to help people have an adaptive response to stressors. When you're in a state of constant anxiety, that's a maladaptive response to the stressor. So I want to help people get to that place where they can experience that stressor. They know how to process it, digest it, and instead of being stuck in an anxious feedback loop, they're able to resolve the thought, the feeling, the behaviors, and leave with confidence that they know what to do. Even if they don't know exactly what to do, they know generally what to do.

That sort of guides my approach. I want people to become consciously aware, explicitly aware of, what triggered me? I was doing fine and then suddenly I wasn't. What was it? Was it a thought that I had? Did I see somebody that reminded me of something? Did somebody say something to me? Was there an event that just happened, the anniversary of something that was traumatic? What is it? Because we're not just suddenly fine and then not fine.

So getting really clear on that and then getting really clear on what happens in your body when that happens. So that thought passed through your head and then your muscles tensed up and your breathing became shallow and quick and your heart rate elevated and you started sweating. Okay, great. So you understand the connection between why you're feeling this way in your body right now and what just happened. And then what stories do you tell yourself, your model-making machine, meaning-making machine? How do you make sense of this? Your prefrontal cortex has to tell you a story about, "Well, you don't feel good right now. Why? Oh, it must be because..."

And then that's where the cognitive distortions come in. "This is always going to be this way." I don't know. "I'm going to get fired. I'm going to get a bad review. My partner's going to leave me." Something. It's some tragedy. And then we feel hopeless about that. So getting really clear on the story, what's happening in our body, why, what the trigger was, being really clear on the behavioral choices we make as a result of that.

I want people to get bored with this because I'm going to keep asking them every session so it becomes rote so that when they feel something, they go... It sort of spurs a meta awareness. So like, "Oh yeah, I'm feeling anxious. Let me engage in this higher-level process to understand why." So then once they have that skill, how do we disrupt this pattern, this as-is experience?

There are physiological interventions, like learning how to regulate our breath and how to relax our muscles. There's cognitive interventions, like recognizing cognitive distortions and challenging them, coming up with ways to not lie to ourself about what the stressor is and why we're feeling this way. And also to feel confident that we know what to do in response to it. So appropriately sizing the stressor. So maybe I'm responding to it as though it's a 10 out of 10, but in reality, it's like a four out of 10.

So really right-sizing the way that we're thinking about problems, and then what can you do behaviorally that's different? So we're looking at this as a system and as a pattern, a template of a response to a stressor. And then we want to disrupt that pattern and template and replace it with a bunch of different choices along the way. And then if we score, how do I feel with version one versus version two? So long as we're feeling better with version two, then that's good. We're making progress.

So that's the approach I've taken. Lots of validation. There's no judgment in the process. What purpose does judgment have, right? We need to be able to just be honest about what we're telling ourselves and why. Positive regard. It's important for people, I think, to feel good about who they are, even if maybe they've made choices that they're not proud of, that at their core, they can feel as though they're good and they're seen as good. I think that's really important.

And I use humor along the way, as well, a little bit of levity. And then ultimately aligning all of this stuff with personal values. What's important to you? Who are you as a person? How does this map to your identity and how you see yourself? That's the best I can do in sort of summarizing. It feels complicated sometimes when I'm trying to describe it, but I try to keep it finite and relatively discreet so that it's not overwhelming, that a person kind of understands what we're doing. There's goals, there's structure, there's a plan, we're moving forward towards something. So that hopefully also communicates some confidence in the process, so that's how I do that.

Anna Kiesewetter:  That's amazing. Awesome. Yeah. Thank you so much for sharing that. Okay. We're approaching our final question: so, I'm just wondering if you have any other words of advice or anything else you'd like to say to our listeners before we wrap up.

Jim McDonnell:  I'm not sure exactly what to say other than perhaps we don't get to choose what happens to us in this world with 100% certainty, but we do get to choose how we respond to those things and suffering, while probably inevitable, is optional in many different ways. I didn't mention this before, but the core metrics that I communicate to clients is, how frequently am I triggered? When I am triggered, how intense is the response and how long does it last? So frequency, intensity, and duration.

We can't really always choose how frequently we're going to be triggered by something or how frequently the trigger is going to happen, but we do have agency on how intense the response is and how long that response lasts. So if people are experiencing a lot of anxiety, I think it's important for them to know it doesn't have to be that way. The world doesn't have to change in order for them to feel more at peace and they don't have to lie to themselves. It's not one of these toxic positivity sort of cycles where we just say, "It's all going to be great and everything's okay and stop worrying." I think that just actually reinforces the power of the stressor so we can't look at it with open eyes and accept things as they are.

So if a person is anxious and they've been anxious and they continue to experience anxiety, more often than not, it doesn't have to be that way. And there are people who can help transform the way that they're thinking and feeling in response to those stressors so that they just generally enjoy their life more. We don't get to live forever. We might as well learn how to use our brains to have a better time on the planet while we're here.

Anna Kiesewetter:  Awesome. Yeah, I like that a lot. All right. Well, okay. Thank you so much for your time and your insights coming on here today. I wish you the best and really hope to have you back for another interview in the future, if you're down for that. So this concludes this installment of the Seattle Psychiatrist Interview Series. Thank you so much for listening and we hope you'll tune in next time.

Jim McDonnell:  Thanks, Anna.

Please note: The views expressed by the interviewee are for educational and informational purposes only, are not meant to diagnose or treat any condition, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Seattle Anxiety Specialists, PLLC.


Editor: Jennifer (Ghahari) Smith, Ph.D.