family conflict

Strengthening Family Connections Through Therapy

Family Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

Psychotherapy provides the opportunity for families to resolve conflict, improve communication skills, and strengthen family bonds. While family therapy ideally includes all family members, it can also be conducted with those members able or willing to participate. Common goals of family therapy are to deepen family connections and learn coping skills for stressful events for both during and after therapy.[1] Family therapy is especially useful in various situations that cause stress, grief, anger, or conflict. In addition, psychotherapy can help individuals support other family members that have serious mental health issues (e.g., schizophrenia, addiction, major depression).While family therapy will not automatically solve family conflicts or make challenging situations go away, it can offer skills to cope with such situations in a more effective manner. 

Dissolving Broken Patterns 

Family therapy is often referred to as a “strengths-based treatment” due to the inclusive nature of the sessions. A family therapist will look at issues or patterns in a family dynamic that need adjusting, rather than focusing on any individual’s sole influence in the problem. Additionally, developing and maintaining healthy boundaries with family members is one common goal or benefit of family therapy that can lead towards reducing conflict.[2] Problematic family systems can reinforce distress or feelings of anger, anxiety, resentment, and sadness. It is important for a family unit to be open to attending therapy together rather than sending one “problem” individual. Jim McDonnell, a psychotherapist at Seattle Anxiety Specialists, notes that the resistance of going to therapy as a family could be the manifestation of defensiveness on the part of the parents, or the individuals avoiding therapy - and placing blame on just one person. By working collectively together, the family can increase their odds of overcoming a difficult situation.[3]

McDonnell points out that families oftentimes perpetuate patterns of response with one another that can make the situation worse. Members of a family might not intend to reinforce distress through their actions; they may be simply acting out in negative ways they’ve witnessed other family members behave or act out subconsciously. However, if problematic dynamics are not changed with the family as a whole, then individual changes will be “overturned by the culture of the family system.”[4] Therefore, openness to change is crucial for each individual in a family unit for significant results to be accomplished in therapy. 

Family Therapy Approaches

No single form of family therapy is significantly more beneficial than another. A therapist will choose a particular approach depending on the nature of the issues brought up in session. When choosing a family therapist, one should ensure that a mental health professional is properly certified and trained for the modality that fits the family needs.[5] Common approaches to family therapy include:

  • Structural Therapy - This method works to improve communication by understanding viewpoints of other family members, aims to fix broken dynamics, and encourages adjustments in problematic family functions.[6]

  • Narrative Therapy - This approach places an emphasis on personal stories related to family life and underlines that one has to become an observer and identify problems to reach solutions.[7]

  • Emotion Focused Family Therapy - Common goals of EFFT include re-establishing more secure family patterns and repairing emotional bonds by restructuring parent and child interactions.[8]

  • Transgenerational Therapy - This technique delves into family history to understand past difficulties that may predict future conflict by analyzing how separate generations can react differently to the same situations.[9]

  • Psychoeducation - This approach to family therapy aims to help those with mental health issues (and their families) to better understand conditions and equip families with coping skills to reduce symptoms and ultimately function better within the family unit.[10] 

What to Expect in Family Therapy

Family therapy is an evidence-based treatment that provides a supportive and non-judgmental environment for expressing oneself. During a family therapy session, a clinician typically asks each family member about any concerns or challenges as well as their goals and hopes for therapy.[11] Each family member will be encouraged to speak and listen to one another. If applicable, the therapist can help each family member clarify their words and feelings so everyone can better understand one another. This is especially important, because when there are communication issues, individuals might not understand the impact of their words and behaviors on other family members. In this case, the clinician can help a family work together to create positive change as well as suggest strategies for altering problematic communication styles and patterns.[12] 

Tangible Results

In certain cases, family therapists utilize activities to help identify goals among family members. For instance, one commonly-used activity in Solution-Focused Therapy is called The Miracle Question. This question simply asks clients to envision an alternate reality where relationships are improved and issues are resolved. For example, a therapist will utilize visualization with clients to induce a relaxing state to bring about awareness of an end goal.[13] This activity helps the therapist identify potential issues and create actionable goals for a family. Family therapy activities are chosen uniquely as a way to cater to each family's particular situation.[14]

When a lack of open communication exists or arguments in a home persist, a therapist might center an activity around learning to understand other family member perspectives. Jim McDonnell provides the following advice for strengthening communication among a family: “Listening is more than just hearing the words spoken by others; it is being able to observe body language, behavioral choices, words spoken, and meaning that is being made.”[15] Active listening and curious observation help a client to put themselves in the place of a family member which leads to an understanding of why one might be speaking or behaving in a certain way. Instead of fighting against other perspectives, a client can begin to see a situation from another angle and question how their own behaviors and words are influencing the conflict. 

Family therapy should be sought after when issues such as chronic mental illness or substance-abuse disorder persist and create conflict within a family. Additionally, when families experience long-term issues within communication and relationship dynamics, steps can be taken to reduce such negative experiences by contacting a licensed mental health professional for further guidance.

Contributed by: Tori Steffen

Editor: Jennifer (Ghahari) Smith, Ph.D.

References

1 Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research. (2021, June 19). Family therapy. Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/family-therapy/about/pac-20385237#:~:text=Family%20therapy%20is%20a%20type,social%20worker%20or%20licensed%20therapist.

2 MedPsych. (2021). The goals and benefits of family therapy. Comprehensive MedPsych Systems. https://www.medpsych.net/2021/01/12/the-goals-and-benefits-of-family-therapy/

3 McDonnell, Jim. (2023). Interview with Licensed Therapist & Anxiety Specialist at Seattle Anxiety Specialists, PLLC.

4 Ibid.

5 ReGain Team. (2023). Family therapy: Theories, modalities, and efficacy. Regain. https://www.regain.us/advice/family/family-therapy-theories-modalities-and-efficacy/

6 Psychology Today. (2022). Structural family therapy. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/structural-family-therapy

7 Clarke, J. (2022). How narrative therapy works. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/narrative-therapy-4172956

8 EFFT Org. (2022). Home. EFFT. https://efft.org/#about 

9 Bruhin, D. M. (2021). Types of family counseling. Apex Recovery. https://apex.rehab/treatment-therapy/types-of-family-counseling/  

10 Ibid.

11 Cleveland Clinic. (2022). Family therapy: What it is, Techniques & Types. Cleveland Clinic. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/24454-family-therapy 

12 Ibid.

13 Amatullah, A. (2021). The miracle question with examples, worksheets, exercises, & Demo Video. Universal Coach Institute. https://www.universalcoachinstitute.com/miracle-question/ 

14 Sutton, J. (2022). How to use the miracle question in therapy: 3 examples. PositivePsychology.com. https://positivepsychology.com/miracle-question/

15 McDonnell (2023)